Just for an update, thanks to Hattie, my little one now sleeps in his crib!
Hattie came over for a three-hour consultation and on that day I had the best sleep since my first contraction (which started in the evening).
Night sleep has been great since and with a clear yet flexible routine, our days are much more predictable and manageable which is like a dream for a first time mum who used to be completely lost! Thank you Hattie!

Hi Vanilla
I thoroughly recommend Hattie Weeks. She came to see me & my DD at 5days & very calmly went through some basics (routine, swaddling, sleep cues etc) which we implemented straight away.
I'm not saying that it's easy, but Hattie was so reassuring & she knows her stuff. My DD is now 2 & has been sleeping for 12hrs since 4months (most of the time - there are always hiccups) and has always been able to settle to sleep (post Hattie) without any rocking, holding singing, gizmos or gadgets. She's not an anxious child, nor were there any major 'set backs' at any stage, apart when I went back to work at 9mths but I think she picked up on my anxiety more than anything else.
Hattie saved my sanity - fact!!
Good luck

I'd second the OCC (Osteopathic Children's Centre ) in Wandsworth. A few sessions of cranial osteopathy can do wonders.

Mary Poppins, I'm saying Colic doesn't exist because it is not an physiological condition. It is not a problem with a part of a baby's anatomy. Colic just means that a baby is crying for more than 3 hours a day for more than 3 days a week over 3 weeks. It's basically what a GP notes down when there is nothing wrong with a baby. As far as I know, there are not similar words for 'colic' in non-English languages (happy to be corrected on that point though), presumably because it is not an actual condition.

Hi there, I just wanted to reassure you that I was in your boat 3 weeks ago. I have an 11 week old baby who would only sleep in my arms. Well meaning friends suggested an item of my clothing in the moses basket/hot water bottle to warm it up/Ewan the Dream Sheep/Prince Lionheart/White Noise you name it, I tried it. I tried the cot, moses basket, bed nest and still the baby wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me. I really was quite stressed out about the whole thing. I made two changes, not saying these will work for you but I just wanted to share my experience. 1) My LO had reflux so I was prescribed Infant Gaviscon by my GP which thankfully worked.
The other thing is that we discovered through trial and error that she categorically didn't like sleeping on her back. So we put her on her stomach, against all guidelines etc so I was torn about doing it but it works. She has gone from not sleeping at all or on me, to through the night and will nap in the basket during the day and sleep in the bed nest upstairs by night. It's like a changed child.
Oh and a third thing, we went to a cranial osteopath and in fact we are still seeing her. I have always been a bit skeptical/dubious about it, but it can't hurt. The OCC is very good (google for details).
People told me in the early days that it would get better, I found it very hard to believe, but it does. What they didn't tell me was that you don't really have to do anything for it to get better. They just get bigger and the fog clears. If it didn't, let's face it, there would be a lot of Only Children out there.
Anyway, wishing you luck, I feel your pain but it really does get better.

Why do you say colic doesn' t exist. Some babys suffer terrible discomfort - what' s in a name?

Nosynoo, the problem is that the baby won' t sleep without being held, not unreasonable expectations of newborn sleep patterns. Everyone needs help sometimes and we are not all gurus selling impossible dreams. People don' t always access the support they need through statutory provision or family support and a professional can be very useful to fill the gaps and provide support.

Cool!

Thank you again all for your advice!

NoseyNoo, please do not be alarmed, I'm searching for options at this stage and not going to sleep train my boy right now as I'm aware that he is too young. Plus making him sleep through the night is anyway not why I'm looking for help as I wouldn't expect it until much later (especially since I'm breast feeding). Re the book, I'm really not a sort of person who takes advice from books without my own scrutiny so please don't worry Thank you for sharing your thoughts though, I appreciate it!

What do you mean by 'problems such as colic'? I thought that colic wasn't a medical condition so you can't cure colic and hope that they settle themselves.

I'm really weary of mums being offered solutions to a problem that doesn't really exist. Young babies cry and don't sleep over night like us.

It sounds to me like Vanilla is doing a great job already.

Vanilla, I hope you will take the 'Baby Whisperer' with a pinch of salt. I was given it when I was pregnant and it set quite false expectations and made me feel like I was a failure because my baby didn't sleep like the angel baby that she described. It made me feel that I was doing something wrong when the only thing I was doing wrong was ready that bloomin' book!

Sometimes the problems of a baby who appears to have problems sleeping are more about their care needs being misinterpreted or probkems such as colic or reflux making it difficult for them to settle. I take a holistic approach examining all aspects of care and behaviour and try to identify solutions. Babies can' t usually regulate their sleep before three months and any approach needs to respect their emotional needs.
Sometimes little changes can make a big difference.

Please don't feel that you need to go down the Sleep Trainer route. At 6 weeks old your baby is just not able to sleep through the night. No one can make your baby sleep through the night. Until about 3 months old, the babies brain is not even able to begin to process that night time = sleep, day time = wide awake.

Of course a sleep trainer can persuade your baby to stop making a noise at night time through helping them to learn that whatever they do, mummy and daddy won't come. It doesn't mean the baby is asleep or content and it will come and bite you on the bum around 4 months and then again around 9 months when separation anxieties will kick in and they will need to know you are there.

At this point it is more important to show your baby that you are there for them so that they learn to feel content in their own skin. It sounds like you are doing that really well at the moment so don't beat yourself up about it.

At around 12 weeks you could perhaps attend a Babycalm sleep workshop. We went to this lady: http://helenredfernbirthandbaby.wordpress.com/ but there may be closer BabyCalm teachers.

I am available to help and have sent you a pm

Thanks Bensmum! Hope you are well.

Vanilla - if you want to have a chat with me about this, do send me a message and we can take things from there. I can come for as little as 3 hours and that may be all it takes to give you some tips on how to help your little one settle on their own.

Sometimes the littlest of changes can make a world of difference.

Hi there poor you. Please know that there are any of us out there who have been or are going through exactly the same as you , so you are not alone. Getting a sleep trainer was the best thing that happened to me.

My DD was 6 weeks old and never sleeping, it was an absolute nightmare as she also had reflux and sleep was not a thing she would do, which made her always tired ,and this made her scream all the time!! I was at my wits end and then I found Heidi a sleep consultant/night nanny ( via NVN and recommendations) based in Northcote rd area.

She was amazing and within a few weeks ( doing two nights a week to give me a break before I had a breakdown!!), she had my little one in a night routine and before DD was 4 months,she got her into a routine sleeping from 7pm - 11pm and then thru to 7 am.
It is definitely down to Heidi's skills that this is happening she is truly magic and the one that got my little girl into a routine.

She is also a parent coach which I found so very reassuring especially when feeling so tired. Her calm and kind manner was just right and her wealth of experience speaks for itself. I thought it would be really strange having someone in my house, but Heidi has this amazing way about her that totally reassures and puts you at ease, and my DD loved her.

Get in touch with her, she will not disappoint. You also have a lot of other recommendations, so whomever you go with, be reassured that there are people out there who can help.

heidi@theparentandbabycoach.com

And Good luck x

Hi Vanilla,

As other posts have said it really does get easier. It is really tough when they don't sleep. My first only slept in our arms and even when I put her down when deeply asleep she would be awake within seconds screaming. At 8 weeks, getting pretty desperate, I sought help from a cranial osteopath who was brilliant and asked lots of questions and diagnosed her with silent reflux and advised to go see our GP. The diagnosis was confirmed and we were able to get her on the rights meds and sleep eventually came.

I would strongly recommend you go and have a chat with your health visitor and/or GP and rule out any medical reason why your lo isn't sleeping. I wish I had got advice earlier - I thought it was normal even though all the other NCT babes were sleeping beautifully, or so they said, in their moses basket...

Good luck! x