by alpal1 » Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:14 am
Try not to be upset by wiseold man.
Your father has involved you directly in his inheritance planning and raised your hopes. It sounds like you first started caring for him and your mother with the very best of motives and with no help from your brother. That was a good thing to do.
If as you say, the whole inheritance business was raised by your father in the first place, its not really your fault that your hopes were raised. With hindsight, I am sure you would not have let yourself get sucked into the scenario, but having found yourself there & I can see how you might feel some disappointment.
Now, normally, I would say keep quiet and suck it up because its his money and you risk hurting your relationship with him. However, because your father went as far as to show you the paperwork and initiated all this, I think that you do have the right to talk to him to find out his future plans. Give the wedding dust time to settle, then if you still feel the need to know, approach it as delicately as you can. Make sure he does not feel pressurised. You approve of his new wife, love him, and seek clarity not his money.
If your relationship is good, talk to your brother as well. He might be able to offer advice.
What ever you do, its not worth destroying your relationship with your father and potentially your brother. When your father does die, you will find that you would give away all that money in an instant just to have him back.
Try not to be upset by wiseold man.
Your father has involved you directly in his inheritance planning and raised your hopes. It sounds like you first started caring for him and your mother with the very best of motives and with no help from your brother. That was a good thing to do.
If as you say, the whole inheritance business was raised by your father in the first place, its not really your fault that your hopes were raised. With hindsight, I am sure you would not have let yourself get sucked into the scenario, but having found yourself there & I can see how you might feel some disappointment.
Now, normally, I would say keep quiet and suck it up because its his money and you risk hurting your relationship with him. However, because your father went as far as to show you the paperwork and initiated all this, I think that you do have the right to talk to him to find out his future plans. Give the wedding dust time to settle, then if you still feel the need to know, approach it as delicately as you can. Make sure he does not feel pressurised. You approve of his new wife, love him, and seek clarity not his money.
If your relationship is good, talk to your brother as well. He might be able to offer advice.
What ever you do, its not worth destroying your relationship with your father and potentially your brother. When your father does die, you will find that you would give away all that money in an instant just to have him back.