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Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by ARMummy » Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:00 pm

I feel so badly for your daughter! I would be livid. Definitely go to the head and complain!!

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by Batterseamummy » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:57 pm

Just want to add to the other posters - this is beyond unacceptable. What a horrible thing for the nursery to do. Your poor little girl. The nursery (pre-school) my kids go to would never EVER do that. If accidents happen they are put into a clean change of clothes and it's subtly mentioned to the parent/carer at pick up. You should give them a real bollocking for this. Totally uncalled for and over the top and you're not over reacting at all.

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by surreymummy » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:41 pm

Have taught nursery and reception in wandsworth. They should not have sent her home. We always had spare clothes and changed children as it happens a lot!

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by KatherineHepburn » Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:58 pm

How absurd of the nursery. Considering we are asked to donate spare/old knickers & pants to the Reception classes at my daughter's school - quite obviously the occasional accident is absolutely the norm.
Sending her home was quite an over-reaction I feel.

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by Pud1 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:42 pm

Presumably we are not talking about nappy changing facilities if this is a school nursery? Think the OP was just referring to her child wetting herself.

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by Sherlika » Mon Sep 22, 2014 3:30 pm

Hello, I work with Education Law and what was done is unlawful. The schools, especially nurseries, cannot say a child must be toilet trained to be accepted in a school.

No schools are allowed to contact parents to pick them up in cases where child had accidents of such matter. If I were you I would remind them that this is unlawful. I suggest you give them some spare clothes in case they need to clean your child. If they say they have no space to change the child, you remind them that they must 'make reasonable adjustment' and use a provisory area to change her nappies until they sorted out a more suitable changing area.

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by NYE31 » Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:33 pm

I agree with the other posters, speak to the nursery/school, sending her home is an enormous over reaction & I hope that she is OK.

LOs have accidents & most nurseries seem to a) cope with this & b) not make an issue about it. A spare set of clothes or 2 & sending the clothes home with the end child at the end of the day isn't exactly onerous.

Good luck

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by Lansgrim » Mon Sep 22, 2014 1:13 pm

That is terrible!!! My daughter is nearly 8, is in year 3 and has a medical problem called an overactive bladder which means she still has accidents, however she's never been sent home from school for this. In fact in Reception and even Year 1 her teachers informed me that it was actually very common for the children to have accidents and that she certainly wasn't alone.

I would strongly advise going and speaking to the staff, as this is something that can tip over into psychological problems related to the toilet with your child if you're not careful - as others have mentioned, have an accident = get punished and sent home.

Good luck! x

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by Bubs » Mon Sep 22, 2014 8:49 am

This is not normal at all in my opinion, and certainly not helpful to you or you child.

Even in Reception my (end of school year) daughter had the very occasional accident, and whilst the resulting 'dump it all in a bag for Mum to sift through later' wasn't particularly pleasant, it was far better than being removed from the setting for the rest of the day. I would be upset !

My younger daughter is almost 3 and at a mornings only nursery where every day there's a variety of little nappy bagged presents awaiting the Mums.

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by lemonzest » Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:41 am

I am not surprised by this, because a friend of mine moved her child from one school nursery in Wandsworth, whether this was the policy (I don't think this had any impact on her decision, though!) to another where my child was (and as far as I'm aware this wasn't the policy).

Obviously they want (and need!) the kids to be as toilet-trained as possible, not least because of the ratio in this setting. And as a previous poster points out, if they have a number 2 accident this is going to be extremely difficult for a child to clean up on their own (whereas a number 1 could probably be sorted by a fairly independent child - bagging up dirty clothes, donning spares, cleaning up the mess etc). I don't know what the requirements for schools are, but suspect that if teachers/TAs were required to clean up 'bodily fluids' the school would at least be needing to provide aprons and gloves to deal with this.

My concerns about sending home a small child in such circumstances (some will only just have turned 3 going into nursery) are 1) that they seem to be being 'punished' for having a toileting accident (I know they're not being punished, but they probably feel embarrassed as it is and being sent home rather dramatises the situation!). I've looked after 8 year-olds who, out of their normal routine, and in a very exciting environment, have forgotten to get to the toilet in time... and 2) that a very cheeky child may work this out and wee in their pants if they want to go home!!

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by Pud1 » Mon Sep 15, 2014 6:55 pm

OP, I just wonder what type of accident (without wanting to pry). If it involves more than just wetting there may be certain restrictions placed on the staff in terms of how much they can clean a child up. Not sure if this is the case.
Petal, I think that children in Reception are probably helped more than you think!

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by pumpkin » Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:42 pm

Thanks AbbevilleMummy feel much better though I was over reacting and yes I will definitely have a chat with other parents and head.
Oh yes and she did have her change of clothes in the school bag :?

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by AbbevilleMummy » Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:36 pm

My son goes to a nursery school and needs to take spare clothes in case of accidents. My daughter had a couple of accidents when she went there and it was totally fine, they just changed her and told her that accidents happen.

I think it is very wrong for them to send her home. Accidents can happen at any age and the nursery school should be able to handle it in the same way it would be handled at home, not by expelling them for the day!

I would bring it up with other mums from the nursery and the head/manager.

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by oab » Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:32 pm

Is this normal for nursery schools??!!
I understand that they need the children to be potty trained, but accidents happen with little ones and it will probably undermine their confidence if they are sent home for it!!

Re: Feel silly for felling so upset

by pumpkin » Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:24 pm

It's a school nursery AbbevilleMummy so not sure if that's why? They do make it clear that your child must be able to use the toilet by them which he does but accidents they are only little. Mixed feelings!!

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