by Bubs » Tue Feb 17, 2015 11:05 am
I had my two 5 years apart, which had its good and bad points.
Lovely to have the second one at home during the day whilst, and chance go to all the baby groups etc while the big one was at school. Horrendous to have to try and time in school drops and pick ups around those new baby days (months ....). Hard to try and have the baby nap, while the big one charges about. Hard to try and function on such little sleep AND have the older child to get to school/do homework, clubs, etc. The early days pass.
Now they’re bigger they adore one another, and play together but there are odd times when age appropriate activities restrict us (cinema for the big one, little one won’t sit through for instance), theatre trips (same).
When the big one has a friend over and the little one wants to join in, but isn’t welcome.
Childcare can be a juggle, getting two ready in the mornings before I leave for work/every time we leave the house/pack to go on holiday is a big step up from one.
Their social lives needing coordinating is like a full time job. Their demands exhaust me, you just sate one and the other wants something.
It’s sometimes like a never-ending playdate, complete with altercations in my house.
There’s the guilt you feel about not being able to properly focus on one ..... or the other.
The big one overly worries about the little one, so I sometimes feel I’ve inadvertently given her too much ‘responsibility’ somehow – but she is quite soppy like that.
Overall though, we feel like we’ve given them each other – which is just such a gift. When their Dad and I go out in the evenings, the big one is less upset than she was because she now has her sister with her, same for kids clubs and things on holidays, they have ‘reinforcement’ and feel stronger and braver for it. They’re a team and they feel it, powerfully.
I do look back on when I had one and think my goodness it was so easy. I get ruffled by comments from parents of one child that I ‘should’ be doing this or that, and think YOU try having more than one. I feel very guilty when my eldest can’t do things her only child friends can because we have to factor in the little one.
Would I change it? When they’re cuddled up reading stories in bed, when they run into each others’ rooms the minute they wake up, when they’re washing each others’ hair in the bath, when they’re manically laughing at something the other one has done, when they’re whispering secrets and giggling, when they talk so lovingly and proudly of their sister, and when I think of them having each other to share their futures with – the big one hopefully guiding the younger one, the younger one hopefully listening to her big sister way more than she’d ever listen to me – no, I wouldn’t change a thing.
**(When they’re winding each other up and slamming doors on each other, yes, I might have winsome fleeting thoughts of the days when I had an only child).
I had my two 5 years apart, which had its good and bad points.
Lovely to have the second one at home during the day whilst, and chance go to all the baby groups etc while the big one was at school. Horrendous to have to try and time in school drops and pick ups around those new baby days (months ....). Hard to try and have the baby nap, while the big one charges about. Hard to try and function on such little sleep AND have the older child to get to school/do homework, clubs, etc. The early days pass.
Now they’re bigger they adore one another, and play together but there are odd times when age appropriate activities restrict us (cinema for the big one, little one won’t sit through for instance), theatre trips (same).
When the big one has a friend over and the little one wants to join in, but isn’t welcome.
Childcare can be a juggle, getting two ready in the mornings before I leave for work/every time we leave the house/pack to go on holiday is a big step up from one.
Their social lives needing coordinating is like a full time job. Their demands exhaust me, you just sate one and the other wants something.
It’s sometimes like a never-ending playdate, complete with altercations in my house.
There’s the guilt you feel about not being able to properly focus on one ..... or the other.
The big one overly worries about the little one, so I sometimes feel I’ve inadvertently given her too much ‘responsibility’ somehow – but she is quite soppy like that.
Overall though, we feel like we’ve given them each other – which is just such a gift. When their Dad and I go out in the evenings, the big one is less upset than she was because she now has her sister with her, same for kids clubs and things on holidays, they have ‘reinforcement’ and feel stronger and braver for it. They’re a team and they feel it, powerfully.
I do look back on when I had one and think my goodness it was so easy. I get ruffled by comments from parents of one child that I ‘should’ be doing this or that, and think YOU try having more than one. I feel very guilty when my eldest can’t do things her only child friends can because we have to factor in the little one.
Would I change it? When they’re cuddled up reading stories in bed, when they run into each others’ rooms the minute they wake up, when they’re washing each others’ hair in the bath, when they’re manically laughing at something the other one has done, when they’re whispering secrets and giggling, when they talk so lovingly and proudly of their sister, and when I think of them having each other to share their futures with – the big one hopefully guiding the younger one, the younger one hopefully listening to her big sister way more than she’d ever listen to me – no, I wouldn’t change a thing.
**(When they’re winding each other up and slamming doors on each other, yes, I might have winsome fleeting thoughts of the days when I had an only child).
