Well done Lizzie for managing on a bus wow! My daughter has now had no accidents and been dry for 4.5days hurrah! And we can happily get to the loo to use the potty as she can hold on. Just glad after the rough day in tooting library we didn't give up!

We are potty training too and I had to whip the travel potty out on the bus the other day. It was pretty mortifying but surely better than wee all over the bus. When they're just starting out I really don't see what other options you have other than wearing a nappy when out which quite frankly I think is very confusing.
The mat idea is genius - will be getting one.
Don't worry about the negative comments, it won't be long until she's able to hold on long enough to get to somewhere more discrete.

I think using a potty when out and about is absolutely fine, but at the same time, a little common sense could prevail... if you didn't want to have to clean the library loo before using it, perhaps you could have taken two seconds to go through the door from the library room to the library 'loo corridor' to sit with your daughter there. I absolutely hate using public loos too, but taking my toddler in there whilst I go has made me have to get over it a bit - I can't stop him touching any surfaces; we just wash hands on the way out. Presumably if you go to the loo when you're out you also have to take your toddler in there.

I would also say: if your daughter is at the stage where she has only a few seconds to get to a potty - maybe she doesn't have enough bladder control and it's a little early to be training (though I do realise when to toilet train is a can of worms!).

There is no excuse for rudeness from the library staff though - a quiet word to ask if you would mind using the loo provided, out of consideration for other library users, would have sufficed. It is possible that he's had other mothers with their children using potties in there in the past though, for no 2s - and he has to sit in there all day. I don't really mind the smell of my little boy's poo, but I do mind the smell of other people's! Perhaps he's just a bit fed up with it if it's a regular occurrence.

Thank you both mummy2b and Petal both your posts made me smile and breathe a sigh of relief!
I can cheerily say we've had the best time since that awful experience on Thursday.
I decided to head to all saints playgroup on friday armed with potty and explained the situation - they couldn't have been more accommodating and sympathetic saying it wouldn't be the first accident there - even showed me where the mop was and the toilets had 5 potty of varying styles!
Anyway after a couple of false starts my daughter managed to run to the loo with me and used the potty hurrah ! And again in the carpark and the run if good luck continued all day with no accidents.
Today we've been to ballet and balham library and made it to the loo to use our potty at both venues. Needless to say they'll be more accidents to come (not sure I'm lucky enough to have cracked it in five days) but she's certainly found the on off switch for now!
Thank you to everyone for your responses and support ( and to those on TBN) without the encouragement and kind words I'm not sure if I'd have continued to be where we are now! Thank you xx

If you are doing the best thing for your child in YOUR opinion then it's the right thing. Stay strong and don't worry about other people, I'm sure they do things you wouldn't do too.

Personally I wouldn't bat an eye at a child going to the loo in a potty, I don't see it as any different to when I see parents desperately running to the bushes with a kid in tow on the common. You've gotta do what you've gotta do!

Keep smiling x

[quote="Toddler_Mum"]To the original poster - there has been a discussion of your post on Tooting Baby Network on Facebook. The responses have been very supportive! If you aren't already a member it's a great group for local parents. All the best with the potty training.[/quote]

Thank you toddler mum :) I've checked it out but TBN is a closed group - not sure how I join it? X

Pigeonpairmum thank you for your kind support too, my Mum said she always carried a potty round with us 35years ago and never had anything but sympathetic words of encouragement from passing parents.

Some interesting comments on this thread, which brought back memories of carrying a potty around for months (and not a foldable one). Could not face trying to clean up a public toilet in time for a little one to use it: just not realistic and tends to make child panic.. parent too; adult-sized seat so nowhere for child to push on; my 2 used to sit there for ages too and I didn't want to rush them etc. I had no worries at all about getting the potty out (although admittedly my 2 never really had an urgent need in any of the openly public places mentioned.., and it was largely summer time, which helped). I find it a bit strange to hear that your child needs to have a wee, and you get embarrassed about it?! That's not exactly going to help the child is it? I carried plenty of wipes, changes of clothes and a waterproot maternity mat (Just In Case we were indoors somewhere). Always tried to be discrete, behind trees etc, but sometimes you just gotta get on with it. No point in making anything of it in front of the child. And other adults should know better. V insensitive librarian. I disagree with the approach of "potty at home, nappy when out" as I think it hinders development and confuses the child (not long term of course, but if you're going to train, then grin and bear it and get through it, provided the child is ready - not the parent - perhaps some of these instances are of a child who is not ready..), but maybe that approach works for some. I took the view that: how can your child learn if it doesn't feel the need to go, and have a couple of accidents along the way...? And so what, everything can be washed! Even the library carpet ;)

Inside Waitrose in Kingston in the pasta aisle.
It was a n 2. It was urgent.

Thank you for your replies perhaps the library was too advantageous on day 3 and the park a better option, however i knew my daughter had zero intention of having a poo as she'd done it in the potty at home before we went out ( and has been doing so for the last week - hence no pushy milestone going on here she just began doing it herself so no smelly contents out and about - yes we use the pottette- Folding one with a bag and absorbent pad too.
Having been a nanny for ten years and potty trained a few children I know that nappies for out and about confuse things and make it harder to grasp the concept, hence why I'm being consistent. I too remember pulling out the potty for children at the zoo or park if the toilets were too far to make it without an accident. Today was just that - avoiding an accident - she can actually hold her bladder for 4hrs.
I respect everyone's view and will perhaps stay clear of indoor activities for next next week or so - apart from swimming ;) ofcourse. Like swimming in a giant potty I guess seeing as swim nappies do nothing to contain urine - maybe those a tad squeamish about occasional needs must potty use also avoid public pools too ;)

Never understood the all-or-nothing approach to potty training. I let mine practice at home but would still stick a nappy on when we were out and about. It doesn't stop them learning. No need to rush these things and get it done in a week. They all get there in the end.

Taking a potty and using it in public is infinitely preferable to having your kid pee all over the floor but I guess I am just wondering why you would make it so hard for yourself. Another example of parents feeling pressured to achieve certain milestones? Wait til they can hold it a little longer and none of that would be necessary...

Sounds like it was handled insensitively though. Doesn't surprise me as have often found that library staff (even in the children's section) don't seem to really like kids very much. Or at the very least have very unrealistic expectations of how they might behave...

When they gotta go, they gotta go! I'm not sure I would have whipped out the potty in the middle of the libary, maybe rushed down an aisle or something, but if it's between a wet baby or a little embarrassment of a potty in public I'd go with the second. Luckly we had a folding potty so the part that held the wee was like a carrier bag - no carrying pee around for me!
When my niece was potty training I say at the side of the road, in parks, at bus stops - where ever we where when she needed to go (obv I tried to be discreet but sometimes there's no choice)

Maybe don't plan to be out for long for a little while longer.

Good luck!! Don't worry about other people, do what is right for you!
Ps the mat pad is genius

I'm with you Vendredimanche. I like the idea of walking across the library with a full potty! Not appropriate.

Personally speaking I wouldn't off ventured to the library on day 3 of potty training my rule has always been to stay at home week 1 and then venture out once confident. I think using a potty is better than letting them pee on the carpet but not something I would personally do.
Maybe give it a few more days at home of head to the park/playground with a portable potty if the house is driving you crazy.

Hi there
I know I should not respond to your post if I do not have something supportive to say, but you did ask - is it inappropriate?!! So I can't help it - I am sorry but I think it is completely inappropriate. I would never carry a potty around and get my child to do his/her business in public, be that a library, a supermarket, a restaurant... I am trying to imagine the scene of someone carrying a full (smelly?) potty across a library to the nearest toilet without spillage. Potties are for the house (although portable potties can be used in public toilets) and my children wore pull-up nappies for outings whilst potty training in case we did not have ready access to toilets. I mean, I understand going behind a bush or somewhere discreet outside, but in a library – and on the pavement outside the library!? Sorry I must be very old-fashioned, but I am quite shocked actually, and also really surprised that other Mums in the library were supportive of this...
But anyway, good luck with the training and I hope your back is better soon!
VdM

I'm (well, my son) is on week 2 of potty training so I sympathise. Just ignore the librarian and concentrate on your daughter who seems to be doing really well. We also have the potty with us as, although my son is good at asking, I have only seconds to produce the potty! Consequently, whenever he asks, the potty comes out wherever we are. We don't plan on going to restaurants etc so that's no concern but like you, I will encourage him to sit whenever he feels the urge. My role is to ensure there are no spillages so i take a matt too. I think this is much better than an 'accident'. I've had a few strange looks, even in the park, where dogs are pooing and weeing freely but no one seems to mind that it seems. I also say to myself that toilet training is simply another stage and we won't always be tied to our pottys like this!! Chin up and carry on!!