I'm with Petal on being disappointed that sugary desserts form a daily habit at nurseries and schools. Every parent should be able to go with what works for them but personally I'm more and more convinced by the research that sugar is bad for general health (by which I don't mean weight gain but illness and disease). Petal - if you haven't seen it already there's a great book called 'getting the little blighters to eat: change your children from fussy eaters in to foodies' written by an nhs paediatric dietician which advocates only giving sweet treats one day a week. my two are starting nursery soon so I'm going to try saying no desserts other than fruit for them and hoping they're young enough not to notice what the others are having?!!

MY DS made & iced a cup cake at nursery yesterday & I let him eat it on the way home - slapped wrist He also sometime has an ice cream on the way home if it's sunny & he's been extra good, I hope no one sees this either

In fairness, he does eat v.healthily & he's not allowed sweets etc, we offer fruit or yogurt at pudding & he only gets cake at birthday parties.

I think it's all about balance.

Oh dear. I was at the Bandstand Cafe on Saturday, and my 2.5 yr old son had chips, and chocolate icecream. Oh, and a few grapes from my bag for a nod at nutrition. I hope no one was watching I'd be over the moon if he'd eat some plain pasta instead of chips. (In my defence he does eat healthily at home, albeit with a very limited repertoire.)

I saw a mum feed her kids just plain pasta the bandstand cafe...
of course if you let your kids get away with eating exactly what they like they will!
yes, some kids are fussy, and yes it's easier to feed them exactly what they want but it's so lazy and shortsighted

Please be less quick to judge… you have no idea what that parent goes through to get their 'fussy' child to eat. They might have food aversions, they might have sensory issues… As a parent of a child with sensory issues myself, i know that if I have to feed my child in a public place, away from his usual surroundings, noises, smells, even his usually cutlery and crockery, I feel it's a major achievement if he eats anything, even if it is a plain plate of pasta. I'd be mortified if I felt that other parents were secretly passing judgement on me for doing this and thinking I was 'lazy and shortsighted'.

I'm reading this thinking I could say the same about my mother-in-law. We don't ever really tend to have dessert after dinner (unless at a dinner party) - it's unnecessary every day of the week, yet when she visits she expects some form of dessert after lunch, and dinner (literally won't leave the table, or deem herself as having 'had a meal' without it) and to have cake in-between. No way is that getting passed down to my two daughters!

As for our nanny, she's great, she feeds the children excatly as we do, and that is what I find in most cases. They do not tend to over-ride the parents wishes/requests at all from what I see.

Sadly, with fussy eaters, it really is a case of not knowing the difficulties until you've had one. It is pure torture, and I would never lay the blame at the hands of parents for not introducing a wider diet/trying hard enough. It's incredibly upsetting and a very emotive subject for those of us on the receiving end.

As long children are happy and healthy, nice treat from time to time is important. Besides shouldn't we all stop giving nannies bad stick, they working hard ( most of them!) and looking after your most precious little things! I am working as a nanny for quiet a long time and find easy going parents pleasure to work for, not the other way around. As they say if the nanny is happy, your children will be happy too.

I'm with you, Petal. My three year old is at a local nursery (not mentioning any names as I know they are far from along in this - most places seem to be the same) and I fail to understand why the children are given pudding after lunch and tea. I hoped that might stop at school, but it sounds like maybe not! It drives me mad and makes my husband really furious. When she started there we asked that she not be given any (other than fruit or yogurt, which I have no problem with) but as she's got older denying her the items that all the others are wolfing down potentially causes problems of its own and makes it into a big deal as she feels she's missing out and wonders why she has to be treated differently. I have asked again and again if they can reconsider this need to provide puddings, to no avail. I've been promised that they are all zero/low sugar but, even if that's true (which I'm not sure can be the case with all the constant sponges and birthday cakes, and 'treats') it is forming the habit that worries us - as you say, once into later years the taste for puddings will remain and it's not a good thing.

At home she is offered fruit and/or yogurt if she has eaten all her main meal and is still hungry, as the fruit in particular is a good chance to get in one of her five a day, but it drives her dad mad that she refers to this as 'pudding' every day and seems obsessed with ice creams and chocolates and things. We are making a big deal of being healthy in our house, and promoting which foods are 'superfoods' and which will give her good energy for playing, which seems to be working, and I'm pleased to say she does love fruit, but I do worry. I don't want her to be the weird kid that never tries chocolate and so develops an eating disorder gorging on 'forbidden' foods aged 14 or lunges for a plate of cakes on arriving at a birthday party, but it's about being given sensible dietary lessons, and the constant pushing of puddings at nursery does not help.

And don't even get me started on Easter - they baked cakes at nursery and were given some to bring home, were given chocolate bunnies to bring home, and then she was swamped with various chocolate items from well-meaning relatives/godparents/friends etc. It made my heart sink - if she had eaten all of that she would have been as sick as a pig. You don't want to rob the doting grandparents of the chance to give a thoughtfully-chosen egg, and I certainly had Easter eggs as a child, but it's the sheer volume these days. I know it will become harder to avoid as she gets older (this year I squirrelled away all but one egg and some little mini eggs and she seemed not to notice or care), but I really just don't get why people think such small children should/need to be eating chocolate. I know of one and two year olds who were given large chocolate eggs by their parents - why on earth?!

I am really not anti- chocolate, or anti-appropriate treats - I have a massive sweet tooth myself so don't wish to sound like a hypocrite, but having such a sweet tooth, I would be delighted not to pass it on to my next generation.

Also agreed on the junk served as kids' meals everywhere. Why are we not as a community trying to raise a generation of healthy eaters?

decentemployer wrote:Modern day, middle class indulgent weak parenting,

Wow, I came across this post/ thread tonight and it sadly typifies some of the critical and competitive attitude to parenting we often see. I'm a stay at home mum, am very good friends with some amazing nannies, working mums and "middle class" mums just like me all of whom are trying to do their very best for their children.

Lets stop the nanny bashing and "middle class parent" bashing and be supportive of one another. Everyone's different, each child is different (some need puddings, some not).

how do you know they are nannies not mummies? All the (good!) nannies I know feed their children really really well! Probably better than the mums and dads

It's down to the parents to make sure that they have a good nanny who knows how to feed their children well isn't it? So ultimately the parents role and if they don't check up on what their children are eating then it's their fault.

Whilst agreeing totally with most comments here, not sure i agree about stodgy puddings in every case. My two do sport every day, are generally incredibly active children and are very very slim. I am constantly trying to get more energy into them and am delighted if they come home from school - starving as ever - but at least having eaten a really good lunch - with pudding. They aren't going to get far on an apple and a yogurt. They eat plenty of fruit and veg and protein, but big puddings are fine too as long as you do enough exercise, and brush your teeth!!

Yes, sorry, got to agree with the others. My nanny feeds my children exceptionally well. Ask me what I understand some children get in their packed lunches from mothers.... Pastries, chocolate, biscuits, you name it, without fruit or vegetables in sight (are we really letting children dictate to us what they will or won't eat? Its ridiculous. Modern day, middle class indulgent weak parenting, now THERES something I'd love to start a debate on).

So no more nanny bashing, they are individuals with individual standards, just like parents.

Thank you for your response. Sorry if I have offend you. I am not saying all nannies I am merely speaking on a topic that I care about.

It's great that your nanny feeds your child well but some don't just as some parents don't ......

As a new member I thought I would contribute something that I cared about. Maybe not.

I don't really see what the point of your post is? Are you trying to sell your services? Or trying to stir up a debate?

I think you're being a bit mean to nannies as well - why pick on them? Plenty of nannies probably feed the kids better during the week than the parents do at the weekend (including mine!).

Hello everyone,

Children's health and nutrition is a topic close to my heart so when I see young children being fed foods that are bad for adults it makes my heart sink.

Whilst out on daily walks with my daughter, there have been countless occasions where I see nannies feeding the child they are minding pure rubbish. I am talking a child bearly one munching on a packet of ready salted Walkers crisps or a two year old having a mid morning snack that consists of family size packet of jelly sweets. It heart breaking and makes me so angry.

Do parents really know what their nanny is feeding their child when they are away?