Well I view kissing on the lips as an intimate sexual thing, so no, I don't want my son to kiss me on the lips. And I actually think its really weird when parents kiss their kids on the lips, let alone the dribbly grandad (yuk!)... Hugs and kisses in most other places are ok, lips, not in my book!

You don't want your own son to kiss you on the lips?

This thread might be the most depressing thing I've encountered since moving down south and I work with kids whose whole family lives in one room.

I've always thought it odd, but then my parents never kissed each other on the lips in front of us, so it was very much seen as a yukky thing grown ups do in films when they fall in love.

However, my 4 year old (2nd son) has taken to kissing me on the lips - I didn't want to make a big thing about it, so I let him, but he is getting obsessed even though I tell him I don't want him to. Then again, he has a bit of an Oedipal think going as he is upset I married 'daddy' as he wanted to marry me! LOL

any advise on stopping him welcome

If your children don't have a problem with it then why do you?

My northern MIL does this too.
I am used to it now but did think it odd at first.

As a mother, I always kiss my girls on the lips, however a Spanish friend said it was a most odd thing to do, even with a parent and young child.
As my girls get older it will no doubt stop. For now it brings about memories of those sweet little chubby faced baby kisses!

As a child I loathed kisses from older relatives on the lips - even now it makes me shudder thinking about it! If relatives kissed my girls on the lips I would have to say to them that I wasn't happy about it because of how it made me feel as a child.

I do think its just a family thing, if its making you or your children uncomfortable then say, if the kids are old enough maybe teach them to say if they don't like something (politely!). Its good for kids to learn to speak up if someone is doing something to their bodies that they don't like, however they may be happy with it.

I would however like to say, as a northerner, that it isn't a northern thing! Things are never a "northern" or "southern" thing! Both areas are large and encompass many different cultures and identities. Try not to generalise about "oop north"!!

Has anyone successfully managed to stop the practice? My husband's family all kiss on the lips (also Northern), and hence my in-laws do the same with my daughters. I have always found it gross, but since it's normal to them, I have never found a way of telling them to stop. My eldest is now old enough such that I have told her it's yucky to kiss on the mouth (she wanted to start kissing others on the mouth), but my younger one is still too young. I don't want to make a big deal of it as it's minor in the grand scheme of things, but would definitely put a stop to it if I could! My mother-in-law and her brother (both nearly 70!) still kiss each other on the lips and I find that awful!

I wonder if you should consider whether your reaction is a little over sensitive, and your concern is giving kissing on the lips between family and friends some more sinister meaning that isn't really there?
I have grown up in a family where some do and some don't kiss on the lips. Some good family friends and old friends parents' will greet me with a kiss on the lips; it is just that, a greeting, not a 'snog', nothing sexual, but an expression of the closeness of our plutonic relationship.
Personally I think our children have enough to worry about without having something totally innocent projected as something they should be concerned about. There will probably come a time when they will not want to do it anymore, precisely because they reach an age where kissing on the lips means something different in their lives, but until that time wouldn't it be nice to preserve their innocence and be relaxed about family members showing each other innocent affection?

It is totally a family thing. Whatever is okay for you is okay for you you shouldn't feel bad either way. This world and the well meaning people in it feel like by a quick type on a keyboard from their armchairs that they can dictate or judge how people should do things. Nobody would have even been talking about this years ago and maybe thats a good thing. Everyone now feels judged or that we are doing the wrong thing for the smallest occurrences. Mothers have a a hard enough time already without reading things that make them feel even worse about the innocent stuff.

My daughter was horrified when we went to France to visit my French godson and he kissed her on the cheeks (she was 9 at the time and he was 11)! It's such a cultural thing - but can't your husband step in and explain to them that we Southerners find it a bit odd and could they maybe stick to cheeks or a hug instead?

Thanks for your responses. I will check out the modern family episode! The relatives in question are also Northerners. As you say it's a culture thing, but it's hard to broach the subject with my husband's family. The children know how I feel but they don't understand the reason and it's hard to explain to them that aunty may thinks it's ok, but I do not find it ok so they should avoid aunty's wet lips kisses... they keep asking me 'is there a law against kissing people on the lips who are not your husband/ wife"? (that one made me laugh...)
Also not sure at what age it stops - if at all - given the bride and father comment!

There's a whole episode of Modern Family decided to this very subject (not just kids either) - check it out, it's hilarious.

My grandparents used to kiss me on the lips when I was a child. I didn't really think anything odd about it although I hated kissing my grandfather as his lips were all moist and yucky. It might be a Northern thing as they were both from Oop North and I've not seen it done down here.

vendredimanche wrote:Is it usual for adults (parents/ grandparents/ aunties / uncles) to kiss their young family relatives on the lips? It does bother me when relatives do that with my own children - but am I too prude?

I agree with vendredimanche and have very similar feelings,

It has bothered me too, I wasn't sure if there was an unwritten convention or rule it followed that I was unaware of and never seemed able to know how to approach the subject.

Is it usual for adults (parents/ grandparents/ aunties / uncles) to kiss their young family relatives on the lips? It does bother me when relatives do that with my own children - but am I too prude?