Hi

I have read your post and all your replies. From reading them and, obviously, not knowing the exact date your baby will arrive (as they usually run to their own schedule!) as well as how you will be feeling after the birth I think you need somebody flexible in the care they can provide. Also somebody very confident with new born babies. I am hoping I could possibly help you.

I am a university qualified mum from a professional background turned ofsted registered childminder with over 10 years experience. I have four of my own children ranging from 5 to 15 years old. I absolutely adore babies which is why I have four children!

The children I am currently looking after have been with me for 4 years. They are siblings, but the eldest is about to start full time school in September so is leaving and the youngest child is at nursery school. So in September I will just do a lunch time nursery pick up and looking after her from 12-4pm. I am confident in being able to look after both a baby and the little girl together for those hours too.

All the children I have cared for have come to me from around 4/5 months old and stayed with me until they have started nursery school usually around 3 years old. I have a large welcoming home with a big garden and a dedicated playroom. I make regular trips out to playgroups, arts and crafts, library, etc. Obviously, at 6 weeks old care would not yet of evolved into these kinds of activities, but be more along the lines of feeding, sleeping and cuddles!

I have a paediatric first aid qualification and am CRB checked as well as having undertaken various childcare courses. I am very passionate and professional about my work and have outstanding references from every parent whose child I have cared for and, of course, would be happy for you to speak to any of them.

I live close to Balham on Prentis Road SW16. I do have all the equipment for a baby. If I sound like I could help you in those early weeks back at work and possibly beyond please do contact me. You can email me on fabenson15@hotmail.com.

Best wishes.

Fiona

The elephant in the room in this discussion is budget/income.

e.g. someone living in a 3 bed home & whose contracting income is [say] c. £1000 per day has hugely more options available than someone living in a 1 bed home whose contracting income is c. £100 per day.

I am the original poster. I just wanted to say thank you for the excellent and well considered advice and support. It has given me lots to think about. I now need to get planning! : ) I am just at the start of the journey and have my first ante natal class in a couple of weeks.

I am a single mum who works for herself and your advice has been amazing. So thank you very much! I am sure I will find the best way in the end.....

I was back on my lap top after four days giving birth as a I have a business to run. It wasn't ideal but with careful planning I managed it well and still do.
We are all different and cope with pressures in different ways.
Whilst some people find it hard to juggle a new baby, other can juggle a new baby, a hobby and a business.

Not everyone can stay at home and enjoy time with their babies. Imagine how proud your baby will be later in life to know how hard you've worked to provide for them. With the right team around you, you really can do anything.

If you are breast feeding there is a brilliant chemist in the Fulham Road where you can hire a hospital grade pump for £40 a month - well worth it.

I admire you as so many ladies treat maternity leave like a holiday for themselves yet all they do is swan around coffee shops gossiping which actually doesn't achieve anything positive with their baby.

Best of luck with it and don't listen to people who tell you that you need more time. You will do what you want to do and know your body and limits better than anyone xx

And can I add to all of the above - in all of this debate about what is acceptable and what isn't, and what childcare options are available, etc etc, no one has mentioned the role of the father. To the OP - apologies if you are a single mum, in which case this isn't helpful in the slightest, but I would say that if you do have a partner who is likely to be hands on and helpful, make sure he is involved in all these decisions and maybe he could even talk to his employers about his options. If you don't ask you don't get. Even if it means leaving work early one day a week, or working from home some days, it could really help and give you the comfort that your baby is being looked after by the people in the world that love him/her most. It astonishes me that we're talking about maternity nurses, au pairs, nannies, etc but no mention of the dad at all!

Good luck whatever you decide to go with, I hope you find a solution that works out for you. It is so hard to make these decisions but once you have found the right childcare it will make such a difference. x

Yes, well said SophieB.

Whatever you decide, you will be a great mum and your child will love you. The most important thing is for you to be happy in your heart with whatever you decide.

We really should support each other. Using the word 'cruel' in this context is really mean. Can I just say that the pressure the system puts on mums especially, really doesn't help and this may be why there are so many cases of postnatal depression. Yes to being a mum but you're also a person before anything else so I urge you to make sure you do what is right for you!

Good luck!! xx

If you are after a maternity nurse, I can recommend Annie on 07950 320 475

Very best of luck to you :) & well said "sophieb"

x

Well said SophieB - wish you'd have been in my NCT! x

[quote="Reb"]

Ladies, can we be a bit more supportive? I take my hat off to any woman who decides to be a stay at home mother and respect those of us who do the juggle too. They're both hard!

x[/quote]

hear hear. To this day I remember hearing some of the comments that other mums in baby classes and my NCT group said about me and the decisions I made. It really made me question whether I would be any good as a mum, and given hormones throw your emotions all over the place at that time anyway, it didn't put me in a good place. Being a working mum is the most difficult thing I've ever done but also the most rewarding. You really do get the best of both worlds - a wonderful relationship with your children, self-satisfaction from continuing your career and some independence.

Ignore what other people tell you you should be doing and go with your instinct. x

Hi there,

As a self employed mum I was also unable to take a long maternity leave. It is neither ideal nor cruel. I took 4 months off with my daughter and 5 weeks with my son. I would suggest you find a good live-out nanny, not easy getting one with good baby experience but we did, she was and still is amazing. Babies that young will go to anybody so don't beat yourself up about leaving her/him with someone else. You'll be doing the nights and they'll know your mum, trust me. And going back to work will keep probably help keep you sane. I think 1 on 1 is preferable to a nursery at that age but see how you feel?

Am sure it will all work out, don't get too worried. Plans don't always go smoothly when babies are involved so be prepared to be flexible. Do what's best for you and your baby, listen to your instincts and do the best you can. It's a very emotional time and pretty tough but it does tend to work out.

Ladies, can we be a bit more supportive? I take my hat off to any woman who decides to be a stay at home mother and respect those of us who do the juggle too. They're both hard!

x

I just wanted to second what Sophieb has said. I also went back to full-time office based work at 6 weeks and all was fine. I had a maternity nurse for two weeks when my son was born, then at 6 weeks we had a fulltime brilliant nanny who had experience of newborns. Day one was tough, thereafter all was fine. I totally agree that a nanny at home allows you flexibility and a lot more support than a nursery.
Good luck and please feel free to message me if you need any moral support. It is unusual to go back at 6 weeks but not impossible.
Best
L

Hi

I've seen your ad and was wondering if you would consider a nanny to look after your little one when you return to work? I have over 8 years experience looking after babies until they become wobling little toddlers and beyond! I am currently on maternity leave myself, and would be looking to return back to working in January. Please let me know if you would be interested.

Many thanks
Anna

Good luck Abbeville77 - I've read the thread here and just wanted to tell you that it can be done. I run my own business and had to go back to work when my little boy was 6 weeks. I simply had no choice as my clients wouldn't have waited around for me for much longer. Admittedly I spent most of the time working from home (which I hope you can do too) but did have to spend some time away from the house and it broke my heart to leave my son with the nanny on those days. I had to keep reminding myself that I really had no choice, and it just made the time I did get with my son that extra bit special. Did it cause any long term damage to him or our relationship? Not a bit. He's the most loving, caring little man now and we are so close.

One thing I did find hard was the breastfeeding. Can I suggest that if you do breastfeed and you are a member of NCT you speak to your NCT person to find out if there are any hospital grade pumps available to hire. I think I managed to get through 4 Medela Swings before realising that was an option and they really so much better than anything you will buy on the market.

I'd also second the suggestions for a nanny rather than nursery… it just gives you that bit extra flexibility if you finish early one day, or have an unexpected quiet day to be able to spend more time with your baby (I don't know how a nursery would be if you just rocked up in the middle of the day asking to see your baby for a few hours?)

Good luck!

If you need to go back that soon, I recommend hiring a maternity nurse initially. If you have the space a live-in maternity nurse would be best. They could potentially help with some of the night-time awakenings/feeds to give you a break. They are used to doing short-term temporary contracts so you could hire for a few weeks/months. You could then move on to a nanny share or nursery place, depending on your finances, preferences, what's available near you etc. If you are going to work full-time, a nanny share would be better than nursery for a small baby - more tailored childcare to suit your child and more flexible hours to suit you. Babies need lots of love and individual attention so think carefully about this if you are viewing/choosing nurseries. The educational programme of activities may sound appealing but how important is it for a baby? I think 3 months is very early to put a baby in nursery so I would definitely wait for longer than that before putting a baby in nursery.

And, as you have already been warned by others, new babies are all-consuming and exhausting and you will still be recovering from the birth. Hence, you will find it very hard to do your job well that soon. You need the best support you can get.

Don't consider an au pair. You won't get good support and will be further exhausted trying to train them, deal with their own settling in process, their own problems etc (some will struggle to simply settle in the UK, away from family, boyfriend etc, never mind concentrate on the job and actually be interested in it). They are often quite immature and are usually not looking for a career in childcare. You are taking a risk relying on them to follow your instructions and take good care of your baby - don't do it!

Thanks to everyone who responded. I appreciate all your opinions.
i was just investigating options. Yes- it will be my first child so I don't really know what to expect. I have now found a nursery on my road and they take babies from 3 months.

The reason I have to go back to work is that I won't get paid maternity leave (I am a contractor) so I don't have the luxury of staying at home. However, I may be able to get a job with flexible working hours where I can work from home at least a couple of days a week (which is what I have for my current job).

I am also looking into the nanny option now- so thanks for your feedback. There really are a lot of variables at the moment so I just need to see how it all pans out.

Thanks everyone- really helpful.