Hi Drinkingtoomuch?

There was a discussion you might find useful a few weeks back on NV: http://www.nappyvalleynet.com/mums/viewtopic.php?f=115&t=65168&p=151760#p151760

I am a therapist and recently worked with someone who reported reducing drinking massively using the website and connecting on the forum mentioned by Moomie http://soberistas.com/

Also others have found these websites helpful:
http://www.dryoutnow.com/
http://www.gettingthemeasure.org.uk/alcohol_and_mind/

Speaking to your GP and if appropriate AA are other possible options.

Good luck!

Thank you everyone for all the advice - feel I have some energy and steel to make a go of this.

Will keep you posted

:-)

Coupla thoughts from a semi-reformed semi-problem boozer (dad, 49). Used to be bottle of wine 2-3 nights, a bit less some nights, and a coupla binges a month. Now almost nothing.

1) I found it really hard to 'have a few clean days' - too easy to find a reason for a drink.
2) Months at a time are easier - set yourself, commit. Also, drinking buddies have to be trained. First they disbelieve, then they can be angry (too much of a mirror?) then plain tricky (go on, you deserve one...)
3) Best of all find a reason beyond guilt. Mine was cycling - no good being fat and hungover when you want to train well. So I cut back radically but because I really wanted to it was easy for me and for those booze buddies to understand.

Now, I can drink when I want, but mostly don't. Can't speak highly enough of this as a way to live. Energy, clarity, self worth. It's be easy to slip back though...

My husband had a similar drinking problem a few years ago, very much that once he started drinking he didn't know how to stop. He could definitely go a day without drinking, albeit rarely, but he was always finishing the bottle, couldn't just have one glass of wine. It was a problem for both of us because I didn't want to have to completely change my lifestyle, not be able to drink when we went out to dinner together, which if he gave up drinking altogether I knew I would need to do out of support for him. I think there was also a lot of concern on his part that if he gave up alcohol altogether he would worry his family, especially his mother as his uncle (her brother) died of alcoholism. (His parents had enough to worry about at that time with other family issues and he also hates being the less than perfect son in their eyes - not how we'd do it on my side of the family, but each family works in its own way, right?)

We talked a lot about how we could both help him to get it under control without having to quit altogether. I think this book, [url=http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1845291123?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00]Overcoming Problem Drinking[/url] was really helpful to him. And mainly there was just a lot of talking about how much alcohol was in one drink, learning to cut himself off, taking it slowly, sitting out rounds and ordering a glass of water with every alcoholic drink (you drink so much slower this way!). It wasn't easy but it was about reprogramming his approach to alcohol. It made it easier when there was two of us doing this - I was the only wife turning up to random office drinks on quite a few occasions which was weird but I think helped him! And gradually we got through weddings, which used to be whole days of drinking, without even having a hangover between us.

He still slips up and I still have the inclination to worry if I think he's drinking too much on his own, especially at home where I rarely drink. But he does dry January and is incredibly smug about it because he can do it and he doesn't find it difficult which a few years ago it would have been.

Oh and I second the suggestion of fizzy water. And when you're out, getting non alcoholic drinks put into wine or cocktail glasses makes a significant psychological difference!

I was in a very similar situation in between my first and second children. I was unhappy in my job - though it took for a long long time to realise this- and blocking it out by drinking ( bottle of wine a night almost every night). It took a couple of nights of passing out on the pavement after getting out of a taxi in front of my house to do something about it. I was so ashamed. I joined http://soberistas.com/ which got me through it. I didn't seek professional help but that sounds incredibly sensible. I changed job which took a lot of effort through the hangovers but was crucial too. Is there something in your life that is making you unhappy that could be pushing you towards the drink?
I didn't realise until I stopped drinking how unhappy it was making me- remember it in turns is a depressant so it will make you feel even worse if there is something in your life already making you miserable.
I'd agree the danger period is 5.30-7.30pm. Another tip is to eat early- I often cracked open the wine after putting my child to bed to check emails and drank on an empty stomach. You crave it less if your tummy is full.
Over time, I began to find the feeling of waking up feeling amazing and hangover free so addictive in itself. I do have the occasional glass of wine when I'm out now, but once you've been sober for a while you realise there is so much more to appreciate in life that you miss when you're slightly pissed most of the time. e.g. remembering whole conversations I have with my friends and husband; and actually enjoying spending time with my children rather than waiting for them to go to bed so I can drink.
Please do it; you'll never regret it.

Hi I'm so glad some has mentioned this. I too feel like you, I can 3 days maybe without a drink but then find an excuse to have a drink and it usually results in me drinking a bottle of wine, I've noticed I'm now getting a 'wine belly'. I smoke and find the two go hand in hand, I've tried on many occasions to quit smoking, managed 3 weeks about 6 months ago, and without the smoking I managed to cut out the alcohol. However I then slip back into that horrible habit. I have three lovely children and work part time. My life is stressful due to one of my children's Ill health and I have a challenging job. J have a partner who isn't particularly supportive, and generally if an evening we will share a bottle of wine, but then crack open another bottle once that's done. He's very much aware of my concerns over my drinking, but sadly lacks the ability to add support. We're not a particularly social couple so evenings out aren't an issue it's just the drinking at home. Sorry to jump on your post but I'm keen for any suggestions that could benefit myself (and obviously you too). Good luck xx

Well in the short term don't drink during the week. End of story. That will cut things down quickly. You will miss it around 5.30 but once this passes you won't miss it truly. Buy nice cordials and fizzy water to drink instead. You will find putting children to bed much easier as you will have more energy. Good luck. You are not alone.

I gave up in drinking in 1992. Mainly for health reasons but also I recognised I was better without it. You've already identified good reasons in your first paragraph why you need to control your drinking. Personally I found it far easier to quit altogether rather than get into the "ok well just one then" mindset.

Now I have probably two glasses per year to celebrate someone's birthday or perhaps dinner with my wife. Try quitting full stop on your own with the help of one of your best friends to help you. Failing that, if you want to stop, then seek qualified help.

Good luck with it. You'll be better all round for it.

thanks BD, that made me smile and feel better :-)

both i am afraid. Most events i can do sober in fact all of them. Some i even enjoyed watching people get trashed whilst i was sober - be aware however that no one wants to hear you drone on about being sober as they down their 19th prosecco and sloe gin slammer. Other events such as weddings and seeing my friends were much harder.

But that said an evening out with my wife can be almost as nice with no booze. Booze if truly great and proof of God's existence and good intentions that is why it is so addictive. It is brilliant stuff. But there is life also. real life just out there. have you ever camped in summer and woken at dawn to breathe the fresh air before everyone gets up and ruins the wonder and solitude. This sort of life.

go for it and expect to fail some of the time. this does not matter one jot just do not fail every day. my month off had a couple of drinks in it.

good luck

Thanks for reply Brokendad

Did you find you went to the same events and got bored or did you do different things?

I'm quite happy if I give up but what concerns me is that I then don't want to go to dinner parties or see friends. I suppose what really scares me is that I worry it'll mean a change in the way we live our lives

I did a month off it and felt amazing.

However that is incredibly hard to do and it can be very very dull. Oh the utter boredom of sobriety.

Baby steps people: Try not drinking Mon - Tues inc and then increase to Mon - Thurs etc. You lose weight (no more munchies) and feel better.

As with many things starting is the hardest bit. Tell your husband and make him take you out for celebratory drinks/dinner after 1 month (assuming that you are not giving up 100%). You have to have something to aim for even with double vision.

Hi
I'm an active, healthy mum of two young boys with a gorgeous husband and mostly all is well.

I've been aware though that over last few years my drinking is creeping up and I'm now demolishing most of a bottle of wine most evenings and tending to wake up if not with a hangover but with an awareness of having drunk, if thats make sense.

Its not affecting family life, although I'm a bit more grumpy some mornings than I'd like but what is worrying is that I'm not having much success cutting down.

I've tried lots of approaches but there always seems to be a good reason to have another drink.

I'm coming to the conclusion that probably giving up alcohol for good is the only way foward.

Has anyone else had this issue?

I'm really not keen on total abstinance but I have a nagging feeling this might be only way forward.

Has anyone else got through this?