by BetteDavisEyes » Tue Jul 19, 2016 3:18 pm
Avocado, I would give it time. Having small children can exhaust us, and all the physical changes of pregnancy and childbirth can knock us for six (assuming we don't have the 24-hour cooks, personal trainers and night nannies of some well-publicised celeb mums).
You mention that you've never comes to terms with not having a petite, feminine figure - well, to be honest, I've never come to terms with only being 5'3", with proportionately long body and short legs. It's the old thing about brunettes wanting to be blondes, and blondes thinking they'd be taken more seriously as brunettes... I've always wanted to be tall, slim (and in my eyes) sophisticated, glamorous and more feminine.
In my own case, I've been breastfeeding for almost 4 years, and my previously 34AA boobs (in a slim incarnation) or 36A boobs (in a much plumper incarnation) do seem a bit ropey compared to those of the more youthful mummies (and non-mummies) around me. But I'm not sure that changing them would make me feel more contented.
So I would: first of all, send your mother to charm school - preferably their extended course, with the option of an MA to follow it up. When I lost weight (and was overjoyed about it) one of my best friends described the new me as "a head on a stick". Friends and relatives can say hurtful things that are unintended, and are more about projections of themselves and various other things going on in their head than reality.
Secondly, allow yourself time for yourself to get used to the new you. And as another mummy comments, your body will lay down fat around that area again over time. Thirdly, consider whether changed boobs would really make you happier and more comfortable with yourself. The post-pregnancy/birth period is not usually when we're feeling most comfortable with ourselves. Go shopping for some nice underwear that isn't remotely functional, and treat yourself to some massages, facials etc to pamper yourself. I.e. spend some money (even quite a bit would be a small amount compared to a boob job) on reversible ways to make yourself feel better.
Thirdly: would your husband really love you more (or find you more attractive) if your boobs were different. Men are mostly turned on by a woman when she feels sexy and acts like she does. Even if your partner is just saying he likes your boobs as they are just to make you feel better - well, that's rather wonderful (you mention that he didn't see your boobs whilst you were breast-feeding, which makes me wonder if you have generally felt a bit inhibited about your post-pregnancy body).
It is possible that a boob job may be the right thing for you - but for now, I'd put it (and your mother's comments) to the back of your mind, and focus on other ways to make you feel more confident. In six months or a year's time, ask yourself the question again. And thank you for your honesty in sharing your concerns.
Oh, and to Souza - thank you, thank you, thank you. What a kind, but also clearly very genuine response. I think it's easy for women (and men) these days to feel that we have to meet the 'advertised' standards of beauty, or we are inadequate. We often need to be reminded that attraction is not based on a narrow or predictable set of criteria.
Avocado, I would give it time. Having small children can exhaust us, and all the physical changes of pregnancy and childbirth can knock us for six (assuming we don't have the 24-hour cooks, personal trainers and night nannies of some well-publicised celeb mums).
You mention that you've never comes to terms with not having a petite, feminine figure - well, to be honest, I've never come to terms with only being 5'3", with proportionately long body and short legs. It's the old thing about brunettes wanting to be blondes, and blondes thinking they'd be taken more seriously as brunettes... I've always wanted to be tall, slim (and in my eyes) sophisticated, glamorous and more feminine.
In my own case, I've been breastfeeding for almost 4 years, and my previously 34AA boobs (in a slim incarnation) or 36A boobs (in a much plumper incarnation) do seem a bit ropey compared to those of the more youthful mummies (and non-mummies) around me. But I'm not sure that changing them would make me feel more contented.
So I would: first of all, send your mother to charm school - preferably their extended course, with the option of an MA to follow it up. When I lost weight (and was overjoyed about it) one of my best friends described the new me as "a head on a stick". Friends and relatives can say hurtful things that are unintended, and are more about projections of themselves and various other things going on in their head than reality.
Secondly, allow yourself time for yourself to get used to the new you. And as another mummy comments, your body will lay down fat around that area again over time. Thirdly, consider whether changed boobs would really make you happier and more comfortable with yourself. The post-pregnancy/birth period is not usually when we're feeling most comfortable with ourselves. Go shopping for some nice underwear that isn't remotely functional, and treat yourself to some massages, facials etc to pamper yourself. I.e. spend some money (even quite a bit would be a small amount compared to a boob job) on reversible ways to make yourself feel better.
Thirdly: would your husband really love you more (or find you more attractive) if your boobs were different. Men are mostly turned on by a woman when she feels sexy and acts like she does. Even if your partner is just saying he likes your boobs as they are just to make you feel better - well, that's rather wonderful (you mention that he didn't see your boobs whilst you were breast-feeding, which makes me wonder if you have generally felt a bit inhibited about your post-pregnancy body).
It is possible that a boob job may be the right thing for you - but for now, I'd put it (and your mother's comments) to the back of your mind, and focus on other ways to make you feel more confident. In six months or a year's time, ask yourself the question again. And thank you for your honesty in sharing your concerns.
Oh, and to Souza - thank you, thank you, thank you. What a kind, but also clearly very genuine response. I think it's easy for women (and men) these days to feel that we have to meet the 'advertised' standards of beauty, or we are inadequate. We often need to be reminded that attraction is not based on a narrow or predictable set of criteria.
