Totally agree with most of the posts here. Keep an open mind and you will be amazed at the physical and mental strength you find while in labour. There is no denying that it hurts like hell, but in between contractions you enter this weird dream like state where you don't feel anything. I did have an epidural and it was fabulous - got some sleep and got to eat, but for my next baby I am going to learn proper breathing techniques because when you do get the breathing right it truly does help with the pain. The point is, you don't go from "ooo that hurts a bit" straight to an epidural, so you might as well learn some "natural" birthing techniques because you will have to go through some sort of pain in the early stages.

PLEASE don't worry about all the gubbins written about epidurals impeding bonding, feeding etc - I don't know anyone who has had an epidural where this has been the case. You stress about a lot of things when you are pregnant and things are so different when the baby actually arrives! I obsessed about having an episiotomy - I ended up having one and guess what - nothing bad happened!! Quite frankly by the time they came to do it, I would have sold my own grandmother to have just got the whole thing over and done with!

Don't let other people make you feel bad re "taking the drugs" - esp if they haven't had their own children.

See how you feel on the day and just go with what comes. No shame having an epidural. But equally lots of people do manage without... Take it one contraction at a time ;-)

Good luck!

Maggy (expecting number 2 in Nov)

oh and also, alot of women find tens machine, massage, some forms of alternative therapy, water (shower or bath (in first stage of labour when dilating) gas/air. entinox and panadol are sufficient forms of pain relief without resorting to a quite intricate and risky needle in spine, with complications ensuing after during labour and after birth.
worth a read up!

Hi, I agree with first post, who isnt yet a mum - do your own research and make your own decision - don't take sides of friends, coz as you can see here, everyone has an opinion. See, some say "why is this even a discussion - take the pain relief" however with the birth of my son, I wanted him to be relaxed and calm and so I stayed relaxed and calm. I am not a hippie, didn't do hypnobirthing or yoga or anything, just did my own reading, prep and stayed calm, focused and POSITive. I had him after a couple hours (first birth, no better or more experienced than anyone else) and with no drugs, no gas/air or anything, just water. He was calm, fed straight away, bonded wtih me and dad like nothing else and continues to be an amazing baby - 18months old now and pregnant with next one and can't wait to do labour again, freakish sounding I know, belive me, having worked as as nurse in maternity wards and working as a doula, I see it all the time. But I am absolutely, unashamedly of the mind that only a very low percentage of women will have complications if they are prepared physiclaly, understand some birth physiology and have a basic breathing/visualising technique to help them stay calm and focused. The rest can all have EXCELLENT, tranquil, positive birth experiences.
Remember, your body is actualyl made and designed to give birth. Every single cell in the body is geared, your hormones cause certain muscles and ligaments to visibly relax so that baby can squeeze out, you milk comes down in direct response to babys need, Everything about our design says - great birth. So why not believe and hope for the best and if you can't cope, then ask for an epidural, have it in birth plan and ensure they don't leave it too late (so ask them to offer at the turning point of its too late)
Feel free to pm me or email me at peacefuldoula@live.co. uk to ask any questions or we can meet for coffee and have a chat. Sounds like you have a lot to think about, and I believe being positive and listening to the positive birth stories can make that wealth of difference.
Good luck with it all.
P.S It does hurt, I found most when baby head crowns, because I stayed calm in contractions adn had water, taking weight away, and ball, massage etc and lights low, I could concentrate and get thru contractions. but remember we all have different pain levels so when I heard it was the worst pain imaginable and yo uwant to die, well, obviously its hard to stay calm int he face of that. but I made a choice. when I went thru it, I kept wondering when this bloody horrid im gonna die pain would hit and it just never did, it hurt, it was a bizarre feeling, nothing else like it, but not so unbearable as everyone mkes out. but if you go in fearful, at all, your body will tense up and it will take longer and be harder than if you just relax and stay calm!

I gave birth to my son via hypnobirthing I used nothing but paracetamol and had an uncomplicated speedy birthing experience (5 hours) and whilst it was not the most comfortable experience of my life it was most definitely the best experience me or my partner have ever been through! It was most definitely do-able without the drugs! All of these things were promised to me in hypnobirthing and everyone I know that has used hypnobirthing has reported very similar findings - also added benefits kiddywinkle tends to be less traumatised, better sleeper, less fretful and calmer! Of course difficult to proove however from my own experience this was what was promised me and is what I got and the 4 other people I know who have done hypnobirthing reported the same with their little ones! Also fantastic bonding for you and your partner as he has a real part to play as he has jobs to do which helps to make him feel more useful rather than standing on the sidelines cheering you on...! ;)

Don't be scared this is the most amazing thing you have ever done it is awesome! You will have the most amazing respect and awe for your body after!
Don't listen to people's war stories about their labours, weirdly so many women wear their labour stories of pain and torture on their sleeves and are so happy to tell heavily pregnant women how ghastly it all is! If that were the case why have they got 4 kids?
Child birth is asbolutely natural!
It is highly unlikely that your body would produce a baby to big for you to birth!
Pain is only associated with child birth in Western countries! (FACT)
FEAR = TENSION = PAIN!!!

Eliminate the Fear and you have no pain!

Check out http://www.hypnobirthing.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; for more info and moral support!

Lastly - if you haven't started perinneal massage my advice would be DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did and within 2 days I did not feel as though I had given birth! No tears nothing...

Good Luck!

Hi,
I would say go in with an open mind and just see what happens but in my experience if you do decide that you want an epidural you need to be very assertive about it and insist as they will try and talk you out of it. You may find that your birth is really straight forward and you cope much better than you think but equally you may have to be induced or have a long labour which lasts days which then completely changes the way that you deal with the pain. I dont think women should be made to feel guilty for wanting pain relief during what is a very stressful and painful time.

I have had 2 children. The first had to be induced and I lasted about 30 hours without an epidural (they constantly tried to talk me out of it). I was so tired that I became extremely upset and felt completely out of control so we insisted on an epidural and I was given one as they were about to give me a drug to speed up the contractions. Within 5 mins I was COMPLETELY pain free (reading heat magazine!) I spent the next 6 hours resting and by the time the pushing bit came I felt completely in control again. I was able to feel the contractions but no real pain. My daughter was born after only 20 mins pushing. If I had had to go through another 6 hours of agony without the epidural I really dont think I would have had the energy to push the baby out. I had NO health problems after and bonded immediately with the baby and breast fed really easily. I went home the next day.

My son was born last year. I was 4cm when I got to the hospital and demanded an epidural immediately. I got one but unfortunately it didnt work!! They did another and that was very patchy. This time however the birth progressed much more quickly and I was able to cope with gas and air although luckily it kicked in for the actual birth bit. My baby was 9lb 13oz!! I do feel that I probably could have coped without the epidural second time round but was glad I had it as the last bit wasnt so painful and obviously if you have stitches you dont feel it. Again no health problems or issues with bonding or breast feeding.

Good luck. If you want an epidural make sure that your partner/husband knows this and is ready to insist if need be. They have to monitor you continously if you have an epidural and I think that is why they try and put you off. I found this reassuring. Also i hated gas and air first time round but the midwife encouraged me to try it again second time and it was great so give it a go. Nobody gets a medal for the most painful birth - all that matters is a healthy baby and mother.

Hi Becky,

I have had 3 children, and 3 epidurals, so you can imagine which side of the fence I am on with this one! Every birth is different, and pain thresholds are very different too. I guess the real advice here is to go in with an open mind. I didn't want an epidural with my first baby, but 7 or 8 hours in it became clear that I needed one. It worked wonderfully for me. I was even able to have a little nap as things progressed, however when the time came to push, I could still feel the sensation and was able to push her out without any intervention.

For my second baby I planned to have an epidural as it had worked so well for me the first time, and once again it worked like a dream. My baby fed immediately from me, and within 45 minutes I was up and walking around.

I was induced for my third (and final!) baby as I was overdue. I had originally planned to try this labour without an epidural as I somehow felt that I had "cheated" in the past. I mananged for some hours with a tens machine (wonderful - hire one from Boots!) and gas & air, but as I'd been induced the pain was even more intense, and I asked for an epidural. Once again it worked really well for me, and again I could feel very definitely when I needed to push.

I can honestly say that I suffered no side effects from any of my three epidurals, and certainly had no problem bonding with each of my babies. In retrospect my only regret is that I didn't ask for the epidurals earlier as I could have saved myself a lot of pain, and probably would have recovered from the births quicker as I wouldn't have been quite so exhausted!

Obviously this is a very personal view, and I am not offering a medical opinion. I would advise you to read all of the responses that you receive, discuss you true feelings with your partner to make sure that he knows what you would ideally like to happen, but do go in to that delivery room with an open mind. You may sail through it (as a friend of mine did with all three of her births!), or you may find that a little help is needed. Either way I wish you luck, and just know that whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and your baby.

Emma

Hi B,

I recently had a baby and wanted a natural birth, I actually wanted to go for a water birth but this wasn't available when I got to the hospital!

I ended up doing it natually and am really glad I did, however I did scream for the epidural at 8cm and it was too late. Child birth is the most amazing experience you will ever go through but it is incredibily painful..... If I could I would try to describe the pain but there is no description for it. Gas & Air is brilliant but make sure you are using it properly, ask your midwife to show you as soon as you arrive at the hospital it really helps with the pain.

What I would say is it really depends on your pain thresh hold, see how you go on the day but if you think you are not coping go for the epidural. You don't need to make those decisions now just go with the flow you never know how you are going to be until you are in full flight.

I would do it natually again though!!! I must be mad.

Best of luck.

S

SO go for the epidural.

I simply don't understand why you wouldn't?

Its medical progress and you should embrace it!

Whatever you decide good luck!

TPTP

Hi Becky,

This might come across a little strange from someone who's never experienced birth themselves (my husband and I are talking of starting for a baby soon - and I like to do my research and be organised :D ) but I thought I'd pass on information I've been reading about recently.

There's lots of research (and lots of contradictory research too I'm sure) to suggest that having an epidural can 1) bring on health problems following pregnancy and 2) impede on your bonding with your baby.

Re. point 1, I have a friend who has terrible sciatica - she's had it ever since she gave birth (10 months ago) and her doctor has said it was probably due to the epidural she had as that is a known side-effect. I'm not sure how long that will go on for but the fact that she has to carry her baby a lot doesn't help her back get any better.

As for the bonding part, I think that's probably one of those claims to take with a pinch of salt but I've continuously read that having an epidural diminishes chances of breastfeeding successfully with the baby, etc. I think the link is with the lack of feeling in the lower part of the body when you're giving birth...so you not feeling the baby coming out reduces the strong mother/baby bond.....

Personally I think it's a shame to be giving up on experiencing one of the most natural processes on earth without giving it a chance but, again, I'm getting on my soapbox without having done it so I'll probably be ordering an epidural when it comes to it!
Also, I wouldn't listen to your friends who've had / haven't had epidurals - everyone has different bodies, with a different pain threshold, so every birth is different.

But, for me, I don't think I would drugs in advance...only as a last resort. Just remember that, if you go to Tommie's and don't take drugs, you go to the 'home from home' unit afterwards....private room where your husband/partner can sleep in (on a camp bed!) with views of the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben...nice incentive to stay drug-free surely?!

Good luck with the birth and let us know how it goes/what you decide.

I am eight months pregnant. All of my wishes to have a natural birth and to "feel" the birthing experience are now looking a bit silly as I am absolutely petrified about just how much it is going to hurt! :o

My friends are in two camps: firstly those who say get an epidural as soon as you can (one friend even "ordered" hers in the car to Chelsea and Westminster) and insist that you get it immediately. Their argument about why feel pain when you don't have to does sound quite sensible. A husband of one even asked if I would refuse anasethetic at the dentist so why refuse medical progress now! Obvously the others believe it is an important bonding experience and one should be be fully aware to participate!

I suppose I am asking for any opinions, especially from mums who have recently given birth!!! I was going down the no pain relief route but as the date gets closer my resolve is wavering!

Thanks

B