I agree with Al Anon recommendation. This helped me to deal with the alcoholism in my family I grew up with and in denial about. He may need residential addiction treatment although that will only work if he wants to quit. Unfortunately addiction to drugs, like alcohol, has very little to do with 'will power' or 'pulling yourself together.

Sloaney Pony wrote:Drugs use is a terrible, terrible thing.

I have known people lose their lives to this s**t

Great BBC article I would encourage you to read

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39212295

Best of luck and use all the support you can get

Sloaney

Thanks Sloaney, that was a tough article and many parts I identified with (sadly!).

It's-tricky wrote:Could I suggest attending AL Anon meetings, parents who I have known to take this route have found it extremely helpful in keeping their sanity and also being able to help their children.

I wish you all well in this difficult situation

Thanks for this, that's useful to know.

Good to hear that your son, Aguapazza, has turned away from drug use. What a relief and thank goodness for him finding an interest that was more important to him than drugs.
In response to what support is available, there are drug counsellors (which came via the GP recommendation to CAMHS) who are lovely people but my son has been seeing one for about a year but to no avail. As I see it you need an inordinate amount of willpower to want to and to be able to give up or at least slow down heavy cannabis use or indeed any damaging addiction. For many people that does not come easily. It's certainly not coming easily to my son.

Could I suggest attending AL Anon meetings, parents who I have known to take this route have found it extremely helpful in keeping their sanity and also being able to help their children.

I wish you all well in this difficult situation

The problem is that it's not weed that our teenagers are using - it's more likely to be skunk which is far more potent, with much higher levels of the main active ingredient - tetrahydrocannabinol or THC. This stuff really screws with the teenage brain which makes it so dangerous. It can trigger psychotic episodes and make pre-existing conditions such as depression and paranoia more severe. I was lucky with my son - it was a problem for a couple of years but then he decided he didn't like it's effect and how all his friends did nothing and had no interest apart from hanging out and getting stoned. Possibly because he found an interest in dj-ing and music. His friends still smoke - they are now in their mid 20s - and it has impacted on their lives dramatically.

How we help our children to say no is the 50 million dollar question. Being open and talking about drugs and drug use from the beginning of senior school must surely be a start. Encouraging participation in sports, music or any other interest that demands time and application, I think, could also help.

It certainly is one of the more challenging aspects of being a parent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJJeJJUG90o




This is getting results, so am sharing in case anyone is interested in learning more.

Drugs use is a terrible, terrible thing.

I have known people lose their lives to this s**t

Great BBC article I would encourage you to read

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39212295

Best of luck and use all the support you can get

Sloaney

Hi everyone. I feel very sad and upset to see this and it's very worrying for those of us with younger children also. I have an extreme example but I have just come out of the Priory and in there was a young man (20 years old), choral scholar, excellent brain (although he sadly did not reach his potential academically) in a 28 day programme for addiction. Cannabis is as addictive as any drug, it can cause permanent physiological damage (unlike most other drugs if stopped in time), it leads to harder drug use and it destroys lives. This boy had left uni, was living at home jobless, stealing money from his parents and was unable to stop as it made him so paranoid. His parents were in despair until he finally agreed to treatment. I recommend talking to a councillor with specialism in addiction (Priory Roehampton). The reason it takes over some people's lives and not others is because they are more likely to have an addictive personality. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addictive_personality

I wish you all the very best getting help for your kids

Hi Parent SW11, I just wanted to say that I really applaud your attempts to get together with other parents who are in the same situation. My children are still in primary school so fortunately are not exposed to the cannabis-smoking peer group yet. I have sadly seen first-hand the damage that regular smoking of cannabis can do. I'm not talking about the odd smoke, but the almost regular daily use that seems to be sadly prevalent amongst some teenagers. My mum's friend has two twin boys who started smoking cannabis heavily at sixth form. They went from A* GCSE pupils to complete drop-outs. Fast forward 10 years and one is now sectioned in a psychiatric hospital and the other lives at home and is like a zombie (to use his mother's words) who sleeps all day, and has no motivation to get dressed or washed, never mind think about looking for a job.

I know that cannabis smoking does not always cause psychosis and for some reason some people seem to be more susceptible than others. Having said that, I tutor a teenager, who I know is smoking cannabis on a regular basis, and sadly I can see that quite often she is just not with it - the lights are on but there's no one at home.

I really hope that you get support from the other parents in your situation. Is your GP or school offering any support? Presumably his teachers must be aware if he has only sat two out of the 10 GCSEs he was due to take? Please do not lose heart, there will be help out there for both you and your son. And the important thing that you're doing is to try and tackle the issue now and get some good advice from others - professionals and those who have been in your situation.

Hmmm.... my daughter is the same. No motivation, failed to sit her A levels or even go to school a lot of the time and she's a bright girl. I'm not sure, though, that this is all down to cannabis use? Lots of factors for teenage malaise I think. And my daughter's friends (all ex private school in Dulwich) all smoke weed and drink yet most are at uni and working hard. So it's difficult to know why/how...

Yes I understand that point of view and crazy though it may sound, I wish, oh how I wish that my child was simply incorporating it as an aside in his full, busy, productive life. The reality is that he has no full, busy productive life. Sadly cannabis has robbed him of all motivation to the extent that he barely managed to turn up for two GCSEs this summer (he was originally due to sit 10). Now that is a seriously damaging side affect of cannabis use IMO.

It's so difficult as weed is seen as not much different from cigarettes. I don't necessarily think it leads on to use of other drugs and I tend to be fairly laid back about my children smoking it, as long as it doesn't become an everyday habit. The issue of course is that if you nag them or ask them not to, it might drive them to do it even more. I actually think it's such a huge part of teenage London life that it's difficult to control or stop them doing it.

Hi Undertherainbow
Thanks for getting in touch
I'll send you a 'private message' as we have got a date to meet up and it would be good if you could join us too

Hello. I would also be interested in a 'meet-up'/group. I have an older teen. We've had a bit of a rough ride over the last two years. It's a bit better now but ... it's been hard. I'd really like to find other parents I can talk to.
Really sorry to hear of others going through this. It's not fun - and loyalty to one's child can lead to a sense of isolation (well, it did in my experience, anyway).