How about starting the conversation with some good news eg "well, I'm delighted that I don't seem to have common COVID symptoms"?

Divorcing him will solve the problem.

Why can’t you just tell him?

This can be tricky but I think just be open and honest about it. I often tell my husband his breath smells. He doesn't take offence and goes and brushes his teeth. Hope that helps. 

blenkarne wrote: ↑Thu Jan 14, 2021 1:40 pm Can I turn this around and ask if anyone has had (or wanted to) to tell their wife that they smell?

I don’t have a wife, but I did once have a female boss (one of the coowners of the business, in fact) who stank to high heaven. Everyone knew it but nobody ever dared say anything to her because it would be a seriously career limiting move. (Our theory btw was that it was her power jackets - either not being dry cleaned or the dry cleaning wasn’t shifting the whiff.)

intheclouds5 wrote: ↑Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:07 pmSeduce him into a shower! That is why you're married and not just friends, right?

the best method, but I suggest just talking to him honestly, that's all

Blenkarne, I had to tell a female colleague who was also a friend that her personal hygiene wasn't fabulous. I spent ages trying to think of the best way to frame it and remember questioning if she changed deodorant but mostly just came straight out with it. It was never discussed again and all was well.

@Blenkarne
Thanks so much fo your post. Just a quick one to say that I am minded to split this post out to make another thread, I'll keep an eye and see how the replies go.

Thanks again for posting


Annabel x

I would tell him and like to think he would too!

Can I turn this around and ask if anyone has had (or wanted to) to tell their wife that they smell?

I can think of nothing worse, and when I exercise, the first thing I want to do is shower and put clean clothes on. It can't be good for his personal health, all that stale sweat, underarm BO etc.. I would be grossed out by him working in that state all day, let alone actually getting into bed with me. I would insist he shower when he gets back from his run, and puts his "work clothes on" .. I get that the lock down has put all of us under pressure, and into a different frame of mind, and perhaps we all feel a bit more slovenly.. (I had a very lazy day myself yesterday!!) But I live alone, and if I want that kind of day (which is rare), at least it's only me.

Not sure what he was like pre-lock down, but personally, we should all shower after every session of exercise, whether it be at the gym, or at home.. If you are living with someone and they smell, it can be a huge turn off, which could lead to some serious issues about your feelings for that person, and you lose respect for them, which is even worse!  He should have more pride.. The odd day you could probably let go, but every day... noooo.. gross!! lol

Please tell him..

Good luck!

J.

Thanks everyone. Planning on addressing the issue head on after his next run. Don't know why I was being so timid about it. I guess I was overthinking and not wanting to upset him.

I fully sympathise - had the same problem with the shift to wfh.

I tried to be subtle at first - started off by saying I was going to put a load of laundry on, so did he want to change his clothes; when that didn't work, I opened the windows saying the room needed airing out.  

Finally, I told him he smelled and please could he shower every morning even if he wanted to sit around in his pants all day. He didn't take offense.

We have been together 20 years, though, and if the tables were turned, I would expect him to be forthright about it too.

Good luck!

I agree with scientist. There is no excuse for bad hygiene in 21st century. But if you don’t want to tell him, just set your alarms a little earlier so that he definitely has time to shower after his run and before work. Or run him a bath for when he gets back.

And if he smells that bad he might just need to up his water intake after exercise as I find that the more water my husband drinks, the less he smells - and that probably goes for me too.

I’m not sure how long you’ve been married but if he smells just tell him. Eg ‘ you smell after having a run, please take a shower’ make a joke of it if it’s awkward. It’s not as if you’re telling him he always has an awful smell and there’s nothing he can do about it. Most people smell after exercise which is why most people take a shower. He can do it in his coffee break if necessary. Good exercise on being assertive, honest, genuine, it’s your house too! Good luck