by londonite » Mon Feb 08, 2021 9:00 am
No, and it didn’t even cross our minds... though we’ll be getting something for now 2-year-old from the new baby when they arrive. I could see my oh perhaps being inclined to get me something small to represent and celebrate both kiddos (eg charms with their names on it, a personalised frame or book) but not a present for me independent of that just to mark giving birth, if that makes sense?
I don’t have anything against it, but the way I see it for our family, it’s not like I was doing it exclusively for him - the baby is someone shared by both of us. I also found that I disproportionately got presents gifts from others and post-baby treats for myself (relaxation kits, massages, food, coffee/cake, commemorative activities with the baby, thumbprint jewellery at 1 year, etc).
What I did very much appreciate was his extra effort to give me a break even when he was off work and exhausted himself from full-time care - early Saturday morning walks with the baby so I could sleep a bit night nappy changes, huge amounts of the cooking.
If it matters to you and you want something to mark it between the two of you, perhaps choose something together? But if not, try not to worry yourself about what others are doing in this regard if it’s not something you genuinely care about otherwise; the area we’re in is lovely, but I’ve definitely felt pressure to ‘keep up’ with other mom friends on activities, presents, etc. - it’s exhausting, expensive and not particularly useful to compare my circumstances and choices to theirs, so I do my best to let it go and do things the way OH and myself wish to
No, and it didn’t even cross our minds... though we’ll be getting something for now 2-year-old from the new baby when they arrive. I could see my oh perhaps being inclined to get me something small to represent and celebrate both kiddos (eg charms with their names on it, a personalised frame or book) but not a present for me independent of that just to mark giving birth, if that makes sense?
I don’t have anything against it, but the way I see it for our family, it’s not like I was doing it exclusively for him - the baby is someone shared by both of us. I also found that I disproportionately got presents gifts from others and post-baby treats for myself (relaxation kits, massages, food, coffee/cake, commemorative activities with the baby, thumbprint jewellery at 1 year, etc).
What I did very much appreciate was his extra effort to give me a break even when he was off work and exhausted himself from full-time care - early Saturday morning walks with the baby so I could sleep a bit night nappy changes, huge amounts of the cooking.
If it matters to you and you want something to mark it between the two of you, perhaps choose something together? But if not, try not to worry yourself about what others are doing in this regard if it’s not something you genuinely care about otherwise; the area we’re in is lovely, but I’ve definitely felt pressure to ‘keep up’ with other mom friends on activities, presents, etc. - it’s exhausting, expensive and not particularly useful to compare my circumstances and choices to theirs, so I do my best to let it go and do things the way OH and myself wish to 💕