I would personally choose the academically challenging not a family run school.  A small family run school can lack rigour and processes and investment (as this comes out of family's pockets) in some instances no IT or music provision and very limited extracurricular activities and very minimal spend on getting higher quality teachers in place. I'd be careful of leavers lists - unless you know the actual destination schools that each pupil went to I find that some schools publish where pupils were accepted meaning that one girl or one boy can be offered 5 places at top schools and all the scholarships.  Schools with fragmented and not good results use this method to skew the views on what has actually been achieved at that school.

I'd also be concerned that you did not see the actual interaction between students and teachers and how classes were structured.  Did they explain how they teach across the sets and at what stage in each Year they are against the national curriculum? Good and outstanding independent private schools should have the top set about 2 terms ahead of that year's national curriculum.  This means that the top sets should qualify for the top sets in their secondary schools.

I have always had to travel to ensure that my children are at the best schools to give them the best opportunities.  I would love the convenience but in the end their opportunities at places at top secondary schools and top universities (by being in the top sets) should outweigh this consideration.  

Good luck.

 

Def don’t underestimate the commute, especially for primary school as the issue becomes your own and it is a total pain, for any games/afterschool clubs/play dates etc. we ended up getting ours into Alleyns so went for it despite the commute from balham and it’s an absolute pain! But at least she is sorted for Secondary. If not for that I would never have done it. She even gets the school coach but with the number of events requiring parent attendance, meet ups, play dates, after school etc, it’s a total and utter ballache! 🫣

I also think imho if the primary school is decent, the differences are marginal!

Our son is at Dolphin School and we cannot recommend it highly enough. Recently rated as ‘outstanding’ by the ISA, it is both nurturing and academic. Our son genuinely loves school and there is a strong community there for both parents and children.

Beachboys wrote:
> Full disclosure: Dolphin parent here.
>
> We had a similar dilemma choosing secondary schools for my eldest. He had
> offers from a school that's literally next door (we overlook their playing
> fields) and one that's a 30-minute drive down the South Circular. Both are
> amazing schools that we knew we were lucky to be considering. We chose the
> further one in the end as we felt it was a better fit for him -- in terms
> of the student body, the ethos, the clubs, the teaching -- and that this
> edge offset the inconvenience of the commute given how much of his
> formative years he's spending there.
>
> We also thought carefully about what this would mean for the rest of the
> family in terms of logistics as we both work and have younger kids, but my
> eldest has special medical needs that mean he often needs to be driven to
> or collected from school. Again, we felt that everything the secondary
> school had to offer made up for the time and inconvenience of being stuck
> on the blasted A205. (And Dolphin School and fellow parents have been so
> wonderfully supportive when that has happened.)  
>
> I know what you mean about wanting to get it right, but I hope that there's
> no "wrong" decision in this case. Just think about what's best
> for your child and your family.

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful reply. We too have another child with special needs, however she is transported to a school further away morning and afternoon. And with our new arrival any day, considering ease is a very important part of this equation. We currently commute 30-45 minutes in each direction for the child we are looking at Dolphin school for, so a 10 min drive feels much more manageable.

You're spot on- the ethos, confidence, Sam Gosden, all the teachers, and the children are all a HUGE testament to the school. We are leaving a buzzy, busy, v popular school, and have had offers from many others for our child, but Dolphin School feels like the right choice for us after looking at everything. Anyway, thank you agin for the helpful and thoughtful reply.

BalhamMum12345 wrote:
> I'm also a Dolphin parent. We cycle across the Common to the school having
> previously lived much closer and walked there. It's no hardship because
> it's a pleasant ride through the park (only two roads to cross, the rest if
> park footpaths) and it hugely helps my more excitable child as he arrives
> at school calm and composed. In other words, it's important to consider all
> aspects. Howvere, nothing is quite as important as the right school and see
> your child thrive. I don't know know anyone with recent experience of
> Dolphin who is/has been unhappy.
We live in Balham, is there where you cycle from? Are there many Balham parents?

I think we've decided on Dolphin. It feels the best place for her for a variety of reasons. Its really only the commute that was worrying me. Eveline is great, but we wont need the wrap around care right now as I am not working with a new baby at home. And Dolphin feels very community vibey.

Mummy55 wrote:
> From your description it reminds me of a similar choice we did between
> Eveline Day School and Dolphin School, we could have written the same a few
> years back! Two lovely small schools with very happy kids, great
> destination schools and lot of artistic activities (Eveline especially). In
> the end we opted for Eveline as the wrap around care especially half term
> worked best for us and it was closer, so we chose based on what worked best
> for us as a family. We are very happy with our decision, especially as our
> kids turned to be very good in drama, but I am sure we would have been
> happy either way school wise, just one is working best for our family
> situation.
This is our exact situation! We could see her doing so well at either, and they both SO much to offer. However, I think despite it not being the closest, we've decided Dolphin is our choice primarily for the "relationship" driven curriculum. Thank you for your reply!

I'm also a Dolphin parent. We cycle across the Common to the school having previously lived much closer and walked there. It's no hardship because it's a pleasant ride through the park (only two roads to cross, the rest if park footpaths) and it hugely helps my more excitable child as he arrives at school calm and composed. In other words, it's important to consider all aspects. Howvere, nothing is quite as important as the right school and see your child thrive. I don't know know anyone with recent experience of Dolphin who is/has been unhappy.

Full disclosure: Dolphin parent here.

We had a similar dilemma choosing secondary schools for my eldest. He had offers from a school that's literally next door (we overlook their playing fields) and one that's a 30-minute drive down the South Circular. Both are amazing schools that we knew we were lucky to be considering. We chose the further one in the end as we felt it was a better fit for him -- in terms of the student body, the ethos, the clubs, the teaching -- and that this edge offset the inconvenience of the commute given how much of his formative years he's spending there.

We also thought carefully about what this would mean for the rest of the family in terms of logistics as we both work and have younger kids, but my eldest has special medical needs that mean he often needs to be driven to or collected from school. Again, we felt that everything the secondary school had to offer made up for the time and inconvenience of being stuck on the blasted A205. (And Dolphin School and fellow parents have been so wonderfully supportive when that has happened.)  

I know what you mean about wanting to get it right, but I hope that there's no "wrong" decision in this case. Just think about what's best for your child and your family.

It sounds like the pros and cons of each balance out in which case the deciding factor should be distance and so you should take the nearest one. If it doesn’t work out you can always move her to the other one later.

We had angst over a similar commute and, despite great doubt from my partner, we got a cargo bike which ended up being fab for so many other things that we never expected.. you can just chuck stuff in and go to Hyde park, for example or Southbank.
..and the school commute is actually a joy, some fresh air for me and safe / dry for the kids.. don’t let that put you off and choose the school you like best

Go for the school that’s closer to you. If you can walk to school in less than ten minutes, you can’t get better than that.

Please do not underestimate the stress of having to drive to primary school. When they are this small, it’s just not worth the headache. I speak from experience. Looking back, I wish we had chosen a closer school (like you we had the option).

Totally agree with the people who mention the importance of distance and play dates, bumping into school friends along the way to school and playground etc.

I was in the exact same position and was pregnant with my third while we were making this choice. We live in Fulham (Hammersmith side) and have a few excellent schools on our doorstep, however none of them settled well with me. I wanted a school that was nurturing, that was going to watch out for all aspects of my child’s well-being and development, not just what they could achieve. Basically as another mum pointed out, a place that where I dropped my children off I knew they would be happy and feel like a home away from home, especially as one suffered from shyness and was incredibly anxious. We chose Dolphin, with the commute and genuinely each of my three children all say they love Dolphin, they love school. We even put our youngest into their nursery. What struck my husband and I (and still does) is that the school and parental community actually genuinely do care about the children and family as a whole. It’s a real jewel. A few friends questioned our decision based solely on the commute but that was because that wasn’t a choice they would make or their priorities were different. For us we use that time to keep the children calm on the way to school and talk about things. Parking has never been an issue and I’ve honed the route to a tee. As for play dates by yr2 children are in so many different activities that most playdates are once a week or getting together on weekends and both we and other parents happily drive over the bridge to meet up :) So many times kind parents have picked our son up and then driven him home just because they wanted to give us time off from driving knowing we commute. It’s little things like that which show the heart of so many families in this school. happy to chat further but I can honestly say - choose the school that your child will be calm happy and nurtured at. All other things like academic achievements, arts etc follow naturally. I’m so happy that mine will look back and have just a sweet memory of their experience of primary…thinking of secondary is where I fret!! Happy to share more about how we managed in the beginning with a newborn, toddler and reception starter :)

We commute 2.5miles to Dolphin. We started our school journey with them 5 years ago and we lived a 3 minute walk from the school doors. Having moved further away and now having to factor in a commute, I can wholeheartedly say that we couldn’t have made a better decision. Personally, I’d go with the the right school for your children. A place where you know that when you drop them off they’ll be inspired and nurtured brilliantly until you pick them up. Nothing quenches that ‘mum guilt’ by knowing they’re in a wholesome and safe setting. Dolphin ticks those boxes and I couldn’t recommend them highly enough. Worth the commute every time! Happy to chat to you further!

I would echo the comments made on the importance of location and drop off time for primary school - a long or uncertain commute time can become hugely stressful for you and your children. And limit your flexibility as circumstances change during your child's school career - for example, having younger siblings, changing your job/working hours or your children starting to have outside interests after school that you need to get to. A 3 minute walk to school would take the pressure off and make things easier for you logistically.

My instinct is that a school which is closer to you will also make it easier for playdates - particularly meeting up at short notice or sharing pick-ups for parties and other activities.

In terms of academic performance - you say that both schools have excellent leaver destinations and scholarships so you should feel reassured that either would be a good choice for your daughter! It sounds like you didn't have the opportunity to see the teachers and students interact at the first school - if understanding this engagement is important to you, would it be worth asking the school for another visit specifically to see this dynamic?

From your description it reminds me of a similar choice we did between Eveline Day School and Dolphin School, we could have written the same a few years back! Two lovely small schools with very happy kids, great destination schools and lot of artistic activities (Eveline especially). In the end we opted for Eveline as the wrap around care especially half term worked best for us and it was closer, so we chose based on what worked best for us as a family. We are very happy with our decision, especially as our kids turned to be very good in drama, but I am sure we would have been happy either way school wise, just one is working best for our family situation.