Hey @Sb_57, I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It's incredibly tough to juggle being the breadwinner and the primary caregiver, especially when it feels like your efforts aren't being recognized. You've made sacrifices to excel at work and be a present mom, and it's understandable to feel frustrated by your husband's demands.
Seeking support from a family attorney Oceanside can help you navigate this challenging time. A good family lawyer can assist you in negotiating childcare arrangements and finances, ensuring that your rights and your daughter's best interests are protected.

Hi,
I just saw your post and I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through.
I’m a family lawyer and mother of three based in Clapham. I’m happy to meet for a chat over coffee if that might help. My email is Rhiannon.guibert@smb.london.

A mediator will not tell you what to do. You can have individual sessions with them to say what you want and that you do not feel heard. But at the end of th day you both have to agree.

If he is not doing that and if you think your daughter’s mental health and happiness is at risk, you should be seeing a lawyer.

There was a particular clause we could not agree to about the caring of the kids. I made it clear at mediation this would be the one point I would go to court for. He would not agree and the mediator asked him to ask for legal advice. Interestingly, he agreed immediately in our next session.

He can be unreasonable with you, but a judge will put kids interest first. A plan where she moves home every two days is not that. You need to forget this man was your partner and start looking at this as a business meeting. He can be as unreasonable as he wants with you, but you need to have your priorities and fight for them.

Good luck. And if you want to private message me, I am happy to talk.

You are doing great xx

A mediator will not tell you what to do. You can have individual sessions with them to say what you want and that you do not feel heard. But at the end of th day you both have to agree.

If he is not doing that and if you think your daughter’s mental health and happiness is at risk, you should be seeing a lawyer.

There was a particular clause we could not agree to about the caring of the kids. I made it clear at mediation this would be the one point I would go to court for. He would not agree and the mediator asked him to ask for legal advice. Interestingly, he agreed immediately in our next session.

He can be unreasonable with you, but a judge will put kids interest first. A plan where she moves home every two days is not that. You need to forget this man was your partner and start looking at this as a business meeting. He can be as unreasonable as he wants with you, but you need to have your priorities and fight for them.

Good luck. And if you want to private message me, I am happy to talk.

You are doing great xx

Do have a chat with Charlotte Posnansky at Charles Russell. She’s absolutely lovely, and very experienced.

You can find her details on their website or very happy to put you in touch with her.

Good luck!

So sorry to hear about what you are going through. I live locally but my mum is a very kind and experienced divorce lawyer based in the North West. She works with many London based clients who use her as she’s an expert in her field but works on NW prices as opposed to London ones! Her name is Jenny Walsh and the firm is Quinn Barrow if you’d like to get in touch. Best of luck x

Hi
Thanks so much for replying. We’re in mediation now. We have had 3 sessions but he just dominates the session as if it’s couples therapy and nothing has been agreed. He has proposed rigid child arrangement plans where he has her 50% of the time, with her moving home every 2 days. It is awful. It would break my heart to see my daughter live a life like this. The mediator has tried to say to him that his plan is very complicated for a child and mine is structured, but end of the day she remains very neutral and proposes meeting in the middle. I feel like I am wasting £300 each time. We havent even done a financial disclosure yet, despite him mentioning spousal maintenance each session. Im finding that trying to agree on something with someone who is unreasonable and making decisions based on ego rather than the child may be difficult. I’m not Sure if it is the mediator or meditation?.. perhaps it could be simpler. I really want to avoid court.

Morning
I am sorry to read your post. Divorce is unpleasant and stressful and can feel overwhelming.
I run a business helping people with divorce financials. My website is
www.formefinance.co.uk
I can also recommend lawyers for all budgets
If you fancy a chat then please email me
jackie@formefinance.co.uk
Good luck with everything.
Take care
Jackie

Have you tried mediation? And are you the main cater of your daughter?

I am in a similar situation: I earn more but the kids are staying with me. What I didn’t know, but found out in mediation is that the other parents has to contribute towards the raising of the kids financially, even if they earn less. They don’t get to wash off their hands because you earn more.

Turner and Johnson is a good mediation company and have a lot of info of what you need to consider when separating assets

Does anyone know a good family lawyer that can deal with childcare arrangements and finances. I have struggled juggling being the breadwinner and primary carer of my 3 year old daughter while my husband has worked from home making minimal effort in a 9-5 work from home job. He is now after 50% and spousal maintenance despite me doing pretty much everything! Do working mums who do also ‘do everything’ always suffer in divorce? I’m starting to feel this way. Does anyone know a good family lawyer who can help me? Have sacrificed so much to try to do well at work while also being a present mum. It isn’t fair