Hi, I would suggest talking to your nursery school teachers about it.

My little girl is 3 and has asked her nursery school teachers if they will teach her to read and write and so they spend some time with her every day teaching her this as she requested it herself and so they are running with it whilst she is interested in doing so.

However, at a recent teacher/parent meeting, when I asked whether there are any workbooks I should get in order for her to consolidate her knowledge at home they told me explicitly not to do that. They were concerned that if I did stuff at home too that she would end up being over-worked as she is only 3. They advised me to just let her be a child at home and play and have fun with her as she gets taught more than enough at nursery school.

I agree that having fun and spending time with loved ones. Also playing are far more character building at this age than phonics, especially when they're done by some-one untrained and reluctant.

Hi, sorry you're getting it in the neck from some people - nannies are expected to read to children and do all the things a parent would do if they were not at work.
I don't think you should be worrying about letters at the moment but more the issue is your nanny isn't following instructions. It is in fact hard to get rid of a nanny if you want to, so it is important you log your conversations with her somewhere in case it comes to it. Ask her to a meeting and review the issue, chat openly about it and why she is not doing what is asked. I imagine this isn't the only thing she isn't doing. Set tasks you want doing.
My nanny reads to my kids after their dinner and my son practices his reading with her, it's their wind down time before bed. My daughter who is 3.5 is desperate to learn to write and she does her name and pretends to do lists. She copies her brother when he is making up words - all just play stuff and no real work.
My nanny writes a diary of what they do each day so when I come home I can see what they had for lunch, where they went, that they went for a walk etc etc this is what I would suggest - just bullet points and times - then you have a record and it's nice as a prompt to talk to the kids as to what they did.
If you decide to get rid of the nanny you need to have a review meeting stating the issues and give her 2 weeks to rectify the issues, you then meet again and only then can you give her notice (unless it's in probation period) if she hasn't sorted the problems.
Hope that helps, good luck but don't worry about reading at this age - there's plenty of time for it and you don't want her getting bored at school when she starts.

Hi, I think that I may have mislead people when I used the word 'teach'. I meant that i wanted to find a way to get our nanny to reinforce or practice what they already do at nursery.

I mean spending time sitting down and writing basic letters, phonics, writing numbers. (And this level of work must be relevant at this age as they are taught this at nursery). My daughter likes writing and is always asking what different words say so we are not pushing her to do stuff she doesn't like.

We just wanted to find some way to track that our nanny is doing this on a regular basis and the book recommended earlier looks really good so we'll try that - thanks again for the Amazon link.

Paints and patterns are a useful way to start writing without being formal. So learning to do zig zags, spirals, curls etc will help get into the practice of the shapes the letters make.

If you have an ipad, there are some great apps for spelling and tracing of letters which the nanny and your child can do together. Also, you can get educational posters with words and pictures. You pin them up or put them on the floor and your child can match the picture with the word by spelling out the word.

Personally, I don't think there is too young an age to start teaching as long as your child is leading and enjoying it.

I was a nanny in London for 10 years before becoming a mum so I have some insight in this area. I agree with you that your nanny should be spending some time every day with your child doing educational activities, but I would be wary asking her to teach your child to read and write unless she has a lot of experience in doing this or has a teaching qualification. If she doesnt know what shes doing she could cause more harm than good by teaching your child completely differently than they do at school/nursery, which could be more confusing and frustrating to your child. Your nanny probably feels very daunted by this and doesnt really know where to start or how to do this.

I would instead ask her to spend lots of time reading, drawing, doing arts and craft projects, beading, cooking, playing memory games and maybe some simple jolly phonics workbooks/flash cards/online word and number games etc.

If she's not doing the above things, then it could be that she is a lazy nanny who isn't putting enough effort in, but my best guess is that she feels a bit overwhelmed and inexperienced when you ask her to "teach" your child.

My advice would be to do the school drop off together one day with your Nanny and together you could chat to the teacher for 5 minutes - asking what the teacher would recommend you both do at home with the child to enhance the learning they have at nursery.

Even at nursery, your child will only be doing structured reading/writing for a maximum of half an hour probably (and that will be fun exercises rather than traditional style working). Some children arrive at primary school being able to write, others barely able to recognise their name. Primary schools know this and it has no bearing on how they perform academically later on in school life. At this age I think it's probably more important just having the tools at home - i.e. books (that you read to your child), comics (with colouring in etc.), paper and pencils. If a child chooses to use them then they're ready for if, if they don't then they're not. I've got four children and I never did structured reading/writing but we've got loads of books and there's always loads of paper available. My youngest is 4 and she does drawing and puzzles in magazines and loves being read to. My eldest is 11 and he's writing a novel (slight exaggeration but that's what he says!). They do so much structured stuff at school I think it's better to give them the tools and see what they do with them.

JenWaken - thanks for the book link. we'll order it and try it out

Sherlika - thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. Don't worry about us not "being bothered" to do things with our children. We do! It just happens that the time that our nanny works happens to coincide with the only opportunity for one-on-one time that we get during the week with my eldest.

My boy is 5 1/2 and dies not read or write. He plays, explores and interacts very well. He loves books ( looking at them and listening). He is clearly intelligent and will be ready at some point. I will not force it on him and I hope he enjoys it as much as I did. Sometimes we really need to respect our children more.

There are other workbooks you can buy and most book stores have them. My nanny is very keen on the teaching aspect and has found some good ones my boys, who are also 3.5, really enjoy. Mine prefer math types ones to reading though. and when i say maths - its not reall maths like we think of it but matching numbers to pictures etc. but we only do it b/c they enjoy it. I agree with the others (and teachers at nursery say the same) - if they don't enjoy it, don't push it. we work with our nanny to share the 'learning' but in her case she is trained/qualified in this regard so she takes the lead on it a lot and enjoys it. I appreciate the desire to consolidate and carry forward what they learn in nursery so if you can figure out a fun, easy way to do this to assist your nanny in the process, then go for it but don't stress over it as they are only kids once and will progress once primary school starts in earnest. Good luck.

I am sorry, but I cannot be quiet on this one. Do you really expect a nanny to do something you could be doing as a parent? First, she is not qualified to teach. Second, instead of stressing and frustrating your child with books to learn to read and write, get the nanny (if you cannot be bothered or have time) to read with your child.

For a child to read and write well, she has to be read to first. She is extremely young. The English language is the most difficult language to teach a child to read as the way you speak is different from the way you write. I agree that phonics is the best way to start.

Instead of buying boring books, use the computer with phonics. It has to be playful and fun. Otherwise, you will not achieve anything.

But please do not expect a nanny to be a tutor. That is too much to ask.

All kids are different, and while 3.5 is really too early for some kids, others will be really excited to start learning to read. I have one of each! Anyway, this book was really great with my daughter (though my son was totally not interested and learned to read just fine once in primary school). My sisters have used it, as well, and similar results--some kids just love doing it and others won't. So do find out if your kid is keen--maybe that is why your nanny is giving up. If your child is enthusiastic, it should be really easy to track progress with this book--aim for a certain number of lessons a week and then plan a reward for both of them--buying a special cake, making messy play dough, or whatever. Anyway, just a thought. Good luck!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Teach-Your-Chil ... 037&sr=8-1

thank you all for the advice - some good tips on making learning fun.

maybe we have over thought the need to learn things so early but this is our oldest child and we're learning about being parents at we go along (!!)

also my daughter has a late summer birthday so she is the youngest in her nursery class. some of the older children in her year seem so much more advanced as a difference or 9 or 10 months at that age makes a big difference.

some good advice and reassurance - thank you

At this age they may learn more effectively in a more informal way -stick labels all over the place with the names of objects on them in Lower case (fridge door etc). They get used to seeing these things - run finger along under the words when reading to them so they make the connection At this stage it's pre reading skills they need and as the previous poster says they need to do things big and fun before concentrating so hard on formal learning. Get the nanny to paint the alphabet with the child using differetn craft activities - too much too young and risk putting your child off. When they are more mature it comes so much more easily to them and then it's fun - age appropriate!

3 1/2 - too early!
Please let your child BE a child. Once they start schol they will be doing this day in, day out until they are at least 16, but possibly until mid 20s. Forcing reading and writing too early will be more damaging than it is helpful.

Let the nanny do other things for now and wait a few years until the forced extra work kicks in - then choose a nanny based on your needs. A 3 year old does not need extra tuition.

I know how horrifically competitive it seems, and that you want the best for your child, but please believe that being able to read and write at 3 is not an indication of the best.

Having fun, spending time with loved ones, and playing are far more character building at this age than phonics, especially when they're done by some-one untrained and reluctant.

If you MUST persist, then I'm afraid this is something you do yourself, rather than delegating. If it is that important to you then you will need to find the time. But my advice is, don't worry about it. There is very little advantage to be got from forcing the issue at this age.

Forget the working partent guilt and make sure the time you spend with them is quality fun time.