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Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by nataliepennie » Fri Nov 01, 2013 12:51 pm

I would also be worried!
However, if you trust a person to be in your house then they must have something about them that makes them trustworthy in other areas?
Not comparing your possessions to your children, but anyone that comes into your home is a worry so the fact you have her there without a worry to clean must mean she is likely to have a good nature.
Keep her on a bit longer and see how she is then reconsider!

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by CBW7779 » Wed Oct 30, 2013 8:56 pm

Hi, I think this is a tricky one as younger children often get a bit of a raw deal in terms of being ferried around a bit because of the first/older child's busy diary, so I totally understand wanting to try to do the best thing for him! A good deep sleep and routine is (in my view) really important for little ones of all ages. So I think your suggestion might be worth trying out. I think the key would be making sure that the cleaner is prioritising your baby while you are out, so she should be able to hear the monitor, and should know exactly what to do if he wakes or if she hears any worrying sounds (like coughing or a bang in his room ie if he might have hurt himself - basically the sorts of things you would go in and check for). I would also look at it from the perspective of what would happen if anything awful happened - what should she do, and is she really capable and reliable to do what you have told her to do if the worst happened? Does she know where your landline is, and who to call? Is her English good enough? And if you had to explain to someone else why you felt it was ok to leave your son with her if, God forbid, something awful did happen (like he suddenly hurt himself, say, or like if you had an accident when you were out and were delayed getting home) how would that come across to e.g the hospital or, ....your mother-in-law??!! Finally I'd have a chat with the agency about her documents and make sure you're happy with what they know about her, and I'd want her home address, phone number and a copy of her passport, but I'd have that for her as a cleaner actually! Some people might think that's overkill but if asking for any of these things became problematic that would worry me, which might be the answer you need? Good luck!!

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by GWcouns » Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:26 pm

Nope, definitely wouldnt do it. Not worth the risk, and what if something happened that was nothing to do with the cleaner when you were out, not really fair to put that responsibility on her. I know its such a joy having a couple of hours when they sleep but I wouldn't feel comfortable.

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by Battersea_mom » Wed Oct 30, 2013 12:06 am

Our girl was just one at the time and, among other things that I won't go into, the nanny spent 90% of the time texting or otherwise playing on her phone, left our girl to cry several times (and our she rarely cried at all at that age, she merely wanted a bit of attention), threw a few rice cakes on the floor (like she was feeding a dog!) to give her a snack, didn't bother to fully dress her/put her trousers on (which magically appeared his before i was due home - and this was the middle of winter) ...generally ignored her, didn't speak to her or engage in any kind of play - completely different than when I was present! When I arrived home and asked what they had done for the afternoon she said they had played with toys, had a nice snack, read a few books and sang some songs. Not exactly.
She had been with the nanny for a week before we saw this - made us feel sick. We might as well have left her alone in the house for all the care she was receiving - and this is with a nanny who looked great on paper, had glowing references. I guess you can't always trust what goes on when you're not there.
Thankfully we've since found someone amazing - as a side note, she was far less experienced! - who is absolutely wonderful and the perfec foot with us!
You'll know if something's not right, trust your instincts.

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by Battersea_mom » Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:31 am

You're doing it when they're asleep and shouldn't need anything and only for 15 mins so I wouldn't see that this should be a huge issue. If your baby was awake that's a different question.

As you say you only really need someone to go in if they're in a lot of distress or something happens and as long as you discuss those scenarios with her ahead of time, I think you shouldn't worry - its not like you had any formal training before you had your own children! If you feel comfortable doing it and have all of her background info then that's whats important - I've hired a fully referenced, qualified nanny and started to feel uneasy as soon as she had started, leading me to invest in a nannycam...my gut feeling was right, things were not alright and we let her go immediately. You will know if 15 mins alone with your sleeping baby feels right. If you're still going to worry do what we did and buy a Foscam - you can view the camera on your iPhone so you can check in whenever you need to!

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by willscaldwell » Tue Oct 29, 2013 10:31 am

mamabel wrote:i would!! however I'm clearly in the minority.....
(Well, you're clearly in the minority of those that have responded.)
I'd sooner leave a neighbour in charge, if you have any around at that time.

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by Minnie » Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:00 am

I would!

What's the difference in just getting an unknown Sitter out!?

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by 8han » Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:19 pm

I would be okay with it too. Have you seen her with your child and how she is with them? You'd get a good feeling about it. If your cleaner is with an agency then she'd be DBS checked too?

Many of us use babysitting services/agencies where we don't know the person turning up at all.

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by zaza107 » Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:37 pm

I have, but we'd known our cleaner for over three years when my daughter was born, and only for a few minutes to run to the corner shop. Our cleaner voluntarily brought a copy of her passport when she came the first time, and has done loads of other almost unbelievably responsible things over the years, so I trust her. She adores our daughter, leaves her notes, gave her a baby gift, and is just very lovely. After only 6 weeks, no way, though...

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by Crazycat » Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:45 pm

Interesting to hear some other perspectives. I know the agency has a copy of her passport and proof of her address. The cleaner has said she has no problem with being left for 20 mins in the house with the baby. I always take the view that if he wakes up around the time I would be out, he can have a grumble for 15 mins anyway as he invariably puts himself back to sleep. So, even if he did wake up, I wouldn't really want her to go into him. Still think I should probably err on the side of caution and perhaps wait until the new year and then think again!

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by Vives09 » Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:08 am

Depends how long for for me - my kids are older now, but I would leave them for 10/15 minutes here and there to get something from the shops or get money to pay the cleaner.

I wouldn't do it when a cleaner first started though, but after 6 weeks you have a fairly good idea whether she's trustworthy or not if you talk to her and she turns up on time, does what they says etc. Check what references her agency took up (be aware - some don't bother!). Also, the cleaner would have to be happy to do it.

I think these things are worth more than an enhanced CRB to be honest because that just shows that she hasn't been caught doing something, not that she hasn't done anything.

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by Heavens to Betsy » Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:00 am

I would as well! In fact I used to leave my 2 yr old with my cleaner on a regular basis. I just did it on instinct, no crb checks just a gut feeling that this 23 yr old knew how to mind a toddler safely.

Never had any problems, and I left him for 2 -3 hours sometimes, and my cleaner was very happy to earn some extra cash of course. it was a win win situation as far as I can see, but I am not a risk averse sort of person, and this was a bout 12 years ago when things were different.

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by mamabel » Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:42 am

i would!! however I'm clearly in the minority.....

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by Beketaten » Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:57 pm

No, it's really not fair on the cleaner. She is not paid (or maybe experienced or interested) to look after children.

Re: Leaving baby with new cleaner?

by Crazycat » Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:01 pm

Thanks for the posts. I think you are all right: my gut feeling is that it just isn't worth the risk. I am going to see if I can share some school pick-ups with other mums and my baby will just have to get better at sleeping in his buggy - better to be tired, than abducted....

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