by parentpractice » Wed Jun 17, 2020 6:24 pm
Hello Back to Work Mum
Elaine here from The Parent Practice and so glad you are reaching out for help as all behaviour has a cause and our role as parents is to be curious and keep working out where the anxiety and anger are coming from. You are the expert in your child and what you are describing falls under the category of a mild specific learning need e.g. the dyslexia and if he does have ADHD ,that is a neurological condition which means he is a little neuro diverse and may be an atypical learner.Put all this together with the stresses of being in lockdown, home schooling and not to mention social isolation and it's a melting point of issues, where sadly there is no one single solution.
My first suggestion would be to get an Educational Psychology report from an EP who specialises in ADHD and with that report you can get a really good understanding of his cognitive learning profile so you can see if some of the frustration and anger is caused by him actually struggling with his workload. Using this report you can then seek a psychiatric assessment to assess for ADHD if indeed you want to go down that route as they will prescribe medication. Your GP will be able to refer you to CAMHS ( child adolescent and mental health services) who are a multi disciplinary team. Service varies hugely across the boroughs and the waiting lists are extraordinary at the moment and given his age and that he will soon be transitioning to secondary school, time may not be on your side. But much depends on what resources you have. Be prepared to pay at least £800 for a good EP report.
My second suggestion is to get some good behaviour management/ positive parenting skills so you know how to talk to him to build up his self worth, how to listen to him and validate his feelings, as he will be riding an emotional roller coaster and learn how to be both positive and firm so you know how to handle any misbehaviour positively so he can learn from any mistakes he makes. You as parents have the biggest impact on how he sees himself and you can with the power of your words and knowing how to connect and communicate build up his self worth and confidence.
You may find my book' My Child's Different' of interest as it documents my own story of my son when aged 7 he was excluded from 3 schools in so many years and written off in society. He also was angry and anxious due to his dyslexia and ADHD and we were at a complete loss of how to parent and how to educate him. The story has a very happy ending I am pleased to report but there was no one magic solution, but a combination of getting him into the right educational environment once we understood his needs and then learning how to parent him with more empathy.
I'm holding a space in my heart for you, as you I so understand how desperate as parents we can feel when we feel out of control and unable to help or understand our children. If I can help do reach out. Elaine x
Hello Back to Work Mum
Elaine here from The Parent Practice and so glad you are reaching out for help as all behaviour has a cause and our role as parents is to be curious and keep working out where the anxiety and anger are coming from. You are the expert in your child and what you are describing falls under the category of a mild specific learning need e.g. the dyslexia and if he does have ADHD ,that is a neurological condition which means he is a little neuro diverse and may be an atypical learner.Put all this together with the stresses of being in lockdown, home schooling and not to mention social isolation and it's a melting point of issues, where sadly there is no one single solution.
My first suggestion would be to get an Educational Psychology report from an EP who specialises in ADHD and with that report you can get a really good understanding of his cognitive learning profile so you can see if some of the frustration and anger is caused by him actually struggling with his workload. Using this report you can then seek a psychiatric assessment to assess for ADHD if indeed you want to go down that route as they will prescribe medication. Your GP will be able to refer you to CAMHS ( child adolescent and mental health services) who are a multi disciplinary team. Service varies hugely across the boroughs and the waiting lists are extraordinary at the moment and given his age and that he will soon be transitioning to secondary school, time may not be on your side. But much depends on what resources you have. Be prepared to pay at least £800 for a good EP report.
My second suggestion is to get some good behaviour management/ positive parenting skills so you know how to talk to him to build up his self worth, how to listen to him and validate his feelings, as he will be riding an emotional roller coaster and learn how to be both positive and firm so you know how to handle any misbehaviour positively so he can learn from any mistakes he makes. You as parents have the biggest impact on how he sees himself and you can with the power of your words and knowing how to connect and communicate build up his self worth and confidence.
You may find my book' My Child's Different' of interest as it documents my own story of my son when aged 7 he was excluded from 3 schools in so many years and written off in society. He also was angry and anxious due to his dyslexia and ADHD and we were at a complete loss of how to parent and how to educate him. The story has a very happy ending I am pleased to report but there was no one magic solution, but a combination of getting him into the right educational environment once we understood his needs and then learning how to parent him with more empathy.
I'm holding a space in my heart for you, as you I so understand how desperate as parents we can feel when we feel out of control and unable to help or understand our children. If I can help do reach out. Elaine x
