Sorry I got her age wrong...

Hi

I can't help but think you are already putting 'negative' thoughts into her head about her weight etc by making a big deal out of it and making her see various people to dissuss eating habits. She is only ten after all and as her parents you control what goes in and out of her mouth??? You just need to make sure she is healthy and active and still eating all the things a ten year old should. I would be horrified if my parents were discussing my weight and saying 'we don't mind if she's fat' over an Internet group or to other parents.

Hi I had the pleasure of meeting Janey from Fit For A Princess a couple of weeks back and I think that she would be ideal to help you with this issue.

Not only does she help local mums with their fitness and nutrition but she has worked with girls (and families as a whole) and feels passionately about all aspects of healthy eating and exercise.

Biggest plus she is a lovely, smiley mum of 2 twins and appreciates how hard it is to make all this go around

Her website might be best way to get in touch with her.

www.fitforaprincess.co.uk

Good luck,

Annabel x

Hi there
This is such a difficult one and you are being very thoughtful about this. I work with teenage girls and have lots of experience in dealing with body issues and self esteem.
Any problems in the future - eating disorders wise- will come from low self esteem rather than anything else. That is what you need to focus on and it sounds like you are going the right way about it. Lots of praise for traits that have nothing to do with her body shape - kindness, courage, respect, thoughtfulness. Not intelligence or beauty. This is where many adults make well meaning mistakes which can result in girls thinking that they're useless if they're not super clever and very pretty/thin.
As far as food is concerned, obviously her health is the main thing so if she's sporty and healthy and not eating sweets and chocolate all day I think you just need to keep up the good work.
Maybe start a dialogue with the pastoral team at her school and get then to alert you if she shows any signs of low self esteem (withdrawn, perfectionist tendencies, bullying behaviours...). Gentle psychotherapy may be useful if she does start showing any worrying signs.
Hope that helps, good luck...

Thanks, Helen - I realised straight after posting here that I should have done that!

I've just had quite a long chat our GP, and he, like me, wasn't really sure where to start or what to do. He warned against 'medicalising' the issue without good reason, and asked me to to discuss further with my wife, as obviously we know her best. He offered a referral to a general paediatrician who may have some experience of the best way of handling this, or a psychotherapy route, or indeed a dietician option.

But ultimately it's a parental decision, which is what's challenging us! The outcome we want is to nip in the bud the body image issues that seem to be emerging, and absolutely avoiding anything leading to eating disorders later on. My wife and I absolutely don't care if she's fat, as long as she's happy!

Hi
Would it be worth starting with your GP? They can refer onto clinics and experts in the field?

Also, have you looked at the graphs in the back of your daughter's red book? You can work out what percentile she is on, and see how that looks.

My DD is also very tall and heavy. She has always been in the 90th centile since birth. But not above it. The graph helps you keep an eye on that, and put things in perspective.

Best wishes
Helen

My daughter has always been on the bigger side of the range - she's tall as well as heavy. My wife and I have tried very hard to avoid instilling any negative body image issues, while gently trying to encourage healthy eating and fewer snacks. However this doesn't seem to be working. She is now becoming very aware that she is bigger than her class mates, and her appetite remains voracious. She is quite sporty, but exercise just seems to make her even more hungry. We are now looking to find a professional to help - a child psychologist or a nutritionist. Can anyone recommend a specialist in this field?