Advice please! Post Reply

[supergirl]

Hi

I dont even know how to phrase the thread subject sorry! But would greatly receive advices from people who ve had or have the thing to deal with at every single meal...

My daughter is 3.5yrs and is a generally well behaved, kind and funny girl. She is not a fussy eater and never has been. BUT... She still sucks her food rather than chew it.
I know she can because she always chew biscuits, chocolate, sweeties or crisps when she has a treat

When she is tired she would just suck happily for hours in end lost that she is in dreamland. On holidays obviously less tired it is less of an issue. She goes to preschool and will start reception this Sept coming. She will be even more tired!

I ve tried reward chart (albeit not consistantly), gentle reminder, firmer reminders, no treats for the next day (which i follow through), etc. Tonight i was so cross she went to bed with no stories dusclaimer: she was warned and the last time i warned her of consequence i said "final warning".

It sounds petty and stupid to get cross over that but i cant snymore... I dont want to rush them into eating as i want them to enjoy the moment but likewise and especially in the evening we cant be seating for hours or we would have to start at 4!

Please help before i start puree her food (i m joking btw!)

Thanks and sorry for the long post. Vent over!

Supergirl

[SW Nanny]

Hello Supergirl
The main thing here is to be consistent and keep praising the positives when she does chew her food as opposed to sucking. I tend to stick to 5 main rules at children's mealtimes and I am not sure if you are doing this already but it may help!
1) If you can, eat with your child and or other siblings/friends. Peer pressure is a wonderful thing and remember children learn and model our behavior,so family mealtimes are (ideally) a great way of demonstrating good table manners/ eating habits

2) Encourage your daughter to be involved in cooking/ preparing of the meal (she is 3 so perfectly capable of peeling/chopping etc.) Allow her to choose one 'safe' food and a new thing. When she tries this new thing, lots of praise and maybe a little sticker/other reward whatever you see fit!

3) Ensure she is hungry enough, I usually leave a 2.5-3 hour gap between snacks and mealtimes as it is the ideal window of time for their metabolism/hunger cycle

4)Never force your child to eat. Children will never allow themselves to starve, they will eat when they are hungry

5) If they don't like the meal you cook, do not offer replacements- You are not a cafe! Ensure when they try new foods they have had a couple of bites before deciding if they don't like it.

And finally don't beat yourself up if one mealtime is particular tough- Children have bad days just like the rest of us!

Good Luck!

[kfk101]

Hello,

A couple of suggestions, apologies if you have been down these routes. First, you might want to pop to your Gp and check out that there are no swallowing/chewing issues i.e dysphagia. I know you said she can manage when it is chocolate but it is worth ruling things out just in case. Your GP can refer you to the speech and language team in Wandsworth who's remit it is to work with some of these things.

It sounds like your daughter is getting a lot of attention from mealtimes, albeit negative. It may help to try ignoring this behaviour and attending to her only when you see the "good", chewing behaviour. You could try an egg timer at mealtimes and remove the food after a certain period. It may be hard because you want her to eat but she will not starve and all the time you will be still rewarding the chewing behaviour. It will also give you a boundary which you can stick to and remove he stress which is really the first thing to do for your sanity.

Make believe games also might help if she is into that. We used to pretend to be dinosaurs eating trees (to eat broccoli).

As the previous poster said good modelling and meals with friends too.

Good luck.

[supergirl]

Thank you both very much for your time and your answers.
I ve done a few things today. Firstly, as she stays for lunch a few days a week at school, i ve asked them and apparently she eats her lunch in the time slot and happily: peer pressure i m thinking!!!!
(Which makes me think i am taken for a ride )

I ve called my GP for an appt and check about the dysphagia. I ve talked to him and he is quite convinced she doesnt have it. She may have a misplacement of her tongue so difficulty chewing so we ll check that but i ve taken an appt at the end of next week to give me time to see if my new strategies work.

Finally new strategies:
1. Timer is on. If the plate is not finished no dessert and no stories. I know it sounds very harsh but she did say to me that she wanted her plate gone away and anyway that she didnt mind having no dessert. I m no fool she is very clever and i am stubborn
Anyway good or bad, i follow through tonight as she was clearly testing whst would happen when the timer was bipping.
We had a talk about that so i am CONFIDENT she clearly knows and understand the rule.
2. The 2 bits she took and chew i praised. Loudly with huge clap.
3. I remained as calm as i could. I need to really improved on this one but very good given how much i was boiling inside knowing she was just b... Testing!

Anyway, thats the new rules for thd next 7 days then we ll see.
I know consistancy is key but i do feel terrible tonight. I must remain strong. I do NOT want food to become an issue.

Thanks again for your comments. Sx.

[kfk101]

Wow, well done. Hence the name Supergirl!

Good luck, I hope things improve. I'd love to hear how you get on.
X