Under pressure to lose weight from husband Post Reply

[Timefortea101]

its a tricky one and I don't think there is a right or wrong answer here... I think a lot of how you react depends on how he raises the issue!
Overall I think you need to work out what is right for you. My view is that there is no point crash dieting straight after birth, esp if you are breastfeeding, but that once your baby is on a bottle/ solids, then you should try to cut down to normal levels on the calorie intake and try to start back on the long road to fitness. one key point that others have raised is time - do you have the time to exercise and is your hubby willing to make time for you by doing his share of childcare? If so, then take him up on it - you will feel better getting out there and doing something, and it is easier to cut out the cr&p food when you know you are on the right road on the exercise front...

[suelewisantenatal]

Congratulations on the birth of your baby -

I run a safe Advanced Post natal exercise course with a crèche that can help you burn calories and tone your body plus I can give you exercises you can do at home .
I can suggest Gill Martin 07766 503 182 who is a Personal Training with AN & PN expertise .
I also recommend the MuTu DVD a 12 week exercise & nutrition & programme run by Wendy Powell .
Do contact me 020 8946 8561 if you need more help

Sue Lewis

[dudette]

If it makes you feel better I'm a (naturally) skinny minny who hates exercising and my husband still nags me to go to the gym. I also know that being nagged makes me want to do something much less. However, the longer you leave doing exercise, the harder it gets. So maybe find a gym with a creche or come up with a child-sitting arrangement with another mum. And don't tell your husband so he can't say "I told you so" and you don't feel resentful of the fact he's forced you back there.

[TeddingtonGrandma]

It's always hurtful when people make comments about your weight.

I struggled with my weight after having each of my three children and then remained overweight. Now my daughter is wanting to lose her baby weight after having my beautiful granddaughter!

So for health reasons we both decided to do something about it and we have! I've lost 60lbs and she has lost 14lbs to date!

[supermaman]

It is difficult to comment without knowing you both but I know my husband is far from being romantic and tactful sometimes. However, how hurtful it might be, it may be his own way/language in trying to show you that he loves you and wants you to feel happy/healthy etc. Don't forget Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus so we don't express ourselves and feel the same way. One idea might be to sit down and let him know how his comments make you feel rather than condemn these comments as he may want to look after you but doesnt know how to say it. Best of luck!

[Vhopeful]

It's hard as i know i would prefer for my hubbie to point it out but i think how he delivers the message is important. Maybe he should of asked how you're feeling and if you want to go back to the gym he could help with childcare. I would have a word with him and say the comments he's making aren't helpful and you are/are not happy with your weight and you would rather he didn't comment. Either way as long as you're not unhealthily heavy and your happy just ignore him

[Salminator]

Hey
I was also thinking I'd hit my husband if he asked if I needed 'to eat that dessert' and even though I have been known to nag my husband to eat less and exercise more (he does none) I would still never say something like that to him.
On a more helpful note I put on 4 stone in my last pregnancy and I found it came off really slowly while I was breast-feeding which I didn't stop until my child was 10 months. I don't know if you are breast-feeding but contrary to what I had been told my body seemed to hang on to the weight to feed the baby rather than it helping me lose weight. However, the moment I stopped and when I went back to work the weight fell off me and I was actually lighter than I'd ever been. I'm now pregnant again and for that reason not panicking so much about my weight although I gather it is harder to lose it the second time round!
Re exercising on maternity I did lots of workout DVDs at home while my baby played with toys and I still do and he's now 2.5! I also found just walking lots with the pram helped. Davina and Tracey Anderson do some good post natal DVDs and there is a new gym in Earlsfield called Switch that specialises in pre and post natal exercise and has a creche in the corner so you can watch your child while exercising!
Hope that helps
x

[Mrs Contractor Mum]

Been watching this one with interest and my first instinct was that you should tell him where to get off as the first year of motherhood is 'hard work'! Hell, three years in and its still hard work.

However, you can also use this as a method to improve your relationship as a couple. Your husband has been honest and told you what he thinks has changed in the relationship - you're not going to the gym as often. In the spirit of openness and frankness is there anything you would like him to change? Should he be more romantic/ help around the house more/ with child care? Perhaps he could make more effort with his wardrobe or hygiene? Maybe you would like him to cut down on drinking?

Now is your opportunity to say thank you for pointing out the issues he has with you and discuss any self improvement you would like from him and then as a couple you could spur each other on with your improvements.

Or you could just whack him and have a chocolate.

[JanePlan]

Hello,
Weight loss is always a sensitive area and I sympathise with you.
Losing post baby weight is very hard especially when you probably don't have much time on your hands and I expect you are feeling exhausted as well.
We help lots of mums lose weight, whether it's a few pounds or a little bit more. Combining healthy eating with exercise is always the best way forward but I am sure you are taking lots of exercise pushing your buggy so don't be too hard on your self.
You have probably seen us on NVN before, we are a diet delivery service.
If you would like an informal no obligation chat about how we could help you or even just about healthy eating in general we would be delighted to help.
I am mum myself and with three children I know that beating the post baby weight is not easy!
Give us a call on 0203 441 6646 or you can email me directly at jane@janeplan.com. Our website is www.janeplan.com

Hope to hear from you soon
Jane