Calling all mums of boys re toilet training... Post Reply

[AbbevilleMummy]

So I'm after a little advice....

I have a little boy (26 months) and thinking about when I should start toilet training (I want to skip the potty stage altogether).

My daughter toilet trained herself before she was 2 by deciding she was a big girl and refusing to wear nappies. Asides from a few ill-timed accidents, she was dry day and night right from the start so I have very little experience in how to actually do this. Also I hear that boys are a lot later than girls. I don't want to spend months doing this so happy to wait a little while, however, don't want to leave him in nappies longer than the norm.

He is interested in watching his big sister use the loo and sometime asks to sit on there himself but never actually does anything. He's also started telling me when he's done a poo in his nappy so he might be ready.

So, mums of boys out there, a little survey....

At what age did you start and how long did it take?

[TillyandMoo]

We initially tried to toilet train my son (we didn't do potty training) when he was 2 because we were pressured by nursery. I gave up after a day as I realised he was just not ready and so nursery would have to deal with that.
When he wad almost 2 1/2 we went on holiday and tried again (he seemed more interested by then) and within 2 days had got the hang of it and I think he only had one accident that week when he was asleep.

I think your son will let you know when he's ready. There is no point doing it at any other time as it'll just make a lot of work for you and stress him out.

Good luck!

[SFMC]

My son wasn't toilet trained until he was 3! He just was not interested or ready to. When he was it was fairly quick and painless... The issue was that he didn't mind sitting in his wet or dirty nappy at all! He was far too busy playing and doing other things to bother.
Most of the boys I know toilet trained around 3 (though he and his friends are the eldest - not sure if that makes a difference). He started to take an interest when his pals at nursery began to potty train.
A lot of boys I know still took awhile even at 3!
After his baby sister was born his grandma asked him to help us all by using the toilet and something clicked and he started to go.

As far as stories I've heard from friends is that boys toilet train much older...

He is now 3 1/2 and I STILL have to remind him to use the toilet - he just doesn't want to stop the fun and will hold it until he is bursting.

[Mrs Contractor Mum]

I trained at 2 1/2. He was ready earlier but no one else seemed in a hurry to train him so I ended up doing it last Easter weekend. He learnt to ask about no. 2's at 2 yrs and a month so they were all done on a potty/ toilet but no. 1's needed full attention over 3 days and by the 4th he got the hang of it and then I banned nappies during the day.
I introduced the concept of it all slowly so putting him on it before bath time or after breakfast so he learnt about it all long before he was 'trained'. That way he didn't have the introduction of the potty in one big hit.
I guess with all child rearing stuff though you'll find the way that best suits you and your family. Good luck.

[Nlconsultants]

The eldest sat on the toilet on his 2nd birthday and was ready to go! The youngest had a go once he was 2 but within a week or so hadn't got the hang of peeing so we left it 6 months and he was then ready and fully trained within a week too.

You will know - we used Gina ford as a start and cherry picked from her book on both occasions - don't force it and if it's stressful for either of you just leave it and revisit it in a few months.

Don't pressure either yourself or your son, it is too much pain in the long run!

[3boysrock]

I did mine at 2 1/4. Each was slightly different, but not hugely painful. None were dry at night immediately though, so in that sense they were very different from what I've heard about girls.
Certainly I would say that boys do in general seem to work it out later than girls - I could never imagine any of mine heading towards the potty of their own accord on their second birthday, that's for sure!

[mrs_pavlova]

I tried my first at two and a half and he wasn't ready. Then again a couple of months later and it was easy. He was dry at night soon after.

My second is two and a half now and I'm in no hurry to try! Happy to wait until he's showing more signs.

Hope that helps ease the pressure!

[AbbevilleMummy]

Thanks ladies! It is strange how boys really don't mind sitting in their dirty nappies!

He'll be 2 and a half at Easter so I think I'll give it a go over that long weekend and if it doesn't work, wait till the summer. In the meantime we'll start talking about the loo a bit more to get him clued up on the subject!

Thanks for al your tips.

[TupeloHoney]

My eldest was almost 3 when he decided he was ready, and it was a breeze - we put him in pullups for long journeys but that was it, he went straight for the loo (and was standing up like Daddy after a few days) rather than the potty, and thankfully accidents have been few and far between.

Night-times are another matter though - he's still in a pull-up which he fills almost every night - and now he's almost 5, so any advice on what to do about that would be most helpful! We've tried limiting his fluids after 5pm, taking him to the loo late at night, but to no avail... any words of wisdom???

(and apologies for hijacking the thread!)

Thanks!

TH

[MrsSPC]

I am also curious about starting. Several of you have mentioned you have waited until your son gave you signs. My question is - what were those signs that made you realise he was ready?

My son is 18months old and has twice now pulled my hand and taken me to his changing table immediately after he has done a #2 and has once "run" off the carpet while I was changing his outfit to a place away from me when he had to wee immediately. These seems like signs to me, but I also think 18 months is too young for a boy...

AND what potty recommendations for boys does anyone have?

[nvmof3]

I did both my sons at 2 and a quarter and they were fine. My youngest was dry night and day from the start. My eldest took a bit longer to crack the nights, but only another couple of months. Both had got it within a day or two of started.My eldest had a relapse of number 2s after a couple of months but just for a week - eeeurgh! My daughter was much harder to potty train by the way.
Re potties, for boys this is really important. If your son can dangle in then any potty will do, but for boys that point more forwards you need one with a good high front. I found the Tippitoes one the best having tried a few others first. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tippitoes-PP4-P ... 403&sr=1-6
Good luck and don't stress over it. If they are still peeing on the floor after a couple of days, shelve it and revisit after a few months. It isn't worth the hassle and could put them off even trying.

[Jetsettingbaby]

My son was 3 half and we just started reducing the amount of time in them , so when he was in nursery he had pants on, then only at home he had nappies on then no nappies at the day at all. He still wears a pull up at night buts that's only because he started to get frantic and worrying he was going to wet himself. We also got this app called see me go potty which really helped. He is our oldest so had no one to learn from but from what I gather boys take longer than girls, it's also important not to rush them. I know a few boys who are 4 who constantly have accidents, and they were taken out of nappies due to peer pressure from other mums. Each child us individual so if your don is showing interest then maybe he is ready

[txmum]

We started at 2.5 after months of him practically begging us to potty train. We followed Gina Ford, and while he got it in principle, it was a couple of months before we stopped having regular accidents. 5 months later and he takes himself to the toilet for both 1's and 2's, although he of course needs help cleaning up. He still wears a pull up at night and we're nowhere near ready for nighttime training.
We did train over a week in summer when his nursery was closed, and we were home with no real plans. His nursery played a big role in teaching him alongside a group of other toddlers at the same time.
For months before we started training, we would have him do a wee in the potty just before getting in the bath because he consistently did one at that time. At one point, DH moved him to the toilet for the pre bath wee. I was amused to find out that involved standing him on the seat of the toilet and having him aim down into the bowl. I thought he was crazy, but now its sheer genius in public toilets. There are no worries about his precious parts touching a nasty public toilet! And his aim is remarkably accurate. Highly recommend the technique.

[number28]

Hi TH,

my boy was 3 1/2 when he easily toilet trained, but still at 6 1/4 is occasionally wet at night. He has never had a consistent period (more than a week) when he stays dry at night until the last few months. The medical term is 'primary nocturnal enuresis', and it's considered a developmental thing that they grow out of eventually. In my husband's family there is a strong family history of this, and they have found nothing that actually helps except time and lack of stress about it.

It's a pain buying pull-ups and/or bed mats, particularly as he wants to sleep without a nappy, but the general medical view is that they all get over it eventually. It's not something we make a big deal of, just tell him that his body isn't ready yet, but it will be sometime soon.

Try searching 'nocturnal enuresis', netdoctor and patient.co.uk are a starting point. Or the GP of course to rule out some of the possible contributing factors such as constipation.

[Allgood]

May I please give another take on this? And I know some of you will disapprove and / or will not believe me, but it might be worth it for some of you interested to read anyway. We did Elimination Communication with both our daughter and then my son. We started with my son from day 1 - taking him straight to the toilet when he needed to go, and we barely used nappies at all right from the word go, and by the time he was 5 months old, yes, honestly, (he was bizarrely crawling at 4.5 months) he would crawl to the potty and bash it around as his signal that he needed to go, so we would pick him up and sit him on it and he would do his business. By about 7 months he could get himself onto the potty himself and do his business unaided. And it has, touch wood, and incredibly luckily, been plain sailing from then. There was absolutely no pushing on our part and it was effortless for both of them on their part. (There was never any stress for them that we saw and we were v. vigilant about it.)
I only tell this to say and show that contrary to popular opinion, the "signs" and the "readiness" are there from day 1.
The signs from the first month are similar to signs at 2/2.5/3 -
1. facial expressions
2. body movements
3. timing (a newborn urinates every 20 minutes, then every 40 mins, then every 60, then every 3 hrs), so you e.g. take the child to the toilet/potty at e.g. 40 mins for them to do their business there rather than needing to change a wet nappy. (I used to take my daugher out on my bike shopping at 12 months having taken her to the toilet before leaving the house and knew I had 3 hrs to play with before making sure I was near a toilet again.)
4. intuition - you can tune in and will find you just 'know' when they need to go, there is a telepathic calling - I even 'knew' with my neice from birth and got her to the toilet in time at 3, 4, and 5 wks old, (which even with my previous success amazed me, but only shows ...).
And they are communicating their elimination needs from birth, we just need to read the signs and act, and the more we act, the more they trust we can read the signs, and the more clearly they sign, etc, etc. We did signing with my daughter from 6 months and by 7 months she did a primitive 'wee' sign (the actual BS for the Deaf sign for this is v. tricky for a baby, but she worked out her close version).
I don't really know how, as I know people who've tried EC and haven't been that successful, but we were somehow very lucky with it and touch wood found it very easy and having not done any nappy training we thankfully were able to avoid any form of toilet training and both of mine were fully toilet independent by about 18 months. I'm not saying it's the be all, but I am v. passionate about people trying it particularly if it helps avoid years of pooey napppies! I only changed 3 pooey nappies for my son in total in that 18 months. So I only think EC can be a good thing in that regard!
I wish everyone a lot of luck with whichever method you use.
Please don't have a negative take on this and write nasty things back to me about it, (pre empting I know what is about to come from some quarters), please just take it in the good sense I intend it and take away something positive from it.