preparing for 2nd baby, what can you advice me? Post Reply

[Claudia T]

Hi
I have a 15 month boy and I m 14 weeks pregnant, what would you advice me to be prepared to coop with 2 kids?

[emanu_ela]

Eilish at the Babycarecompany runs fantastic classes for second time parents. I've attended one last year while expecting my second child and she really gave me so many useful advices. Also I've met other 3 mums with kids of similar age to mine and we became friends. And what I found really nice is that you can always phone Eilish up after the class and ask for advice if you have any doubts or problems, she becomes a friend. xx

[BettyBoo]

Save like mad and afford as much childcare for your eldest as possible. If currently in a nannyshare/nursery keep them in as much as possible. Unbelievably hard with a new born and a toddler. I personally would have gone mad. Plus I've had the time to get to know my little girl the same I did with my eldest in the early days. After a few months it becomes easier.

[emanu_ela]

Save like mad and afford as much childcare for your eldest as possible. If currently in a nannyshare/nursery keep them in as much as possible. Unbelievably hard with a new born and a toddler. I personally would have gone mad. Plus I've had the time to get to know my little girl the same I did with my eldest in the early days. After a few months it becomes easier.

I agree with all the above!

[Langstoniamum]

Sleep as much as you can now, enjoy going out while lo is being taken care of and also travel now... All of this will be much harder when 2nd one comes along, at least for the first few months.

[ClaphamNCT]

Hi
Have you considered perhaps doing a NCT refresher antenatal course?... as well as recapping on pregnancy, birth & feeding there is plenty of opportunity to explore the emotional & practical side of expanding your family, whilst meeting some other mums in a similar position.

See www.nct.org.uk/courses for more details.

Best wishes
Clapham NCT

[Widger]

Don't panic is my advice!

I've got 21 months between mine and I worried about bath times, how I would cope generally fitting everything in. It is difficult in the beginning due to lack of sleep but as long as you don't mind baby coming out with you and pretty much following the eldest child's routine then you will be fine.

I didn't have my eldest in nursery until my youngest was 5 months (cash flow issue) and I survived... Just. I had a friend whom put her son straight into childcare 5 mornings when she had 18 months between her two and she regretted it because he just wasn't ready. Not every child is the same but if you can get some kind of childcare then it would be useful, maybe ease them in gently and if coping then up time.

It really isn't as bad as you fear it will be

[Langstoniamum]

Totally agree with Widger. My 2 sons have a 30 month gap exactly so my eldest was 2.5 yrs exactly when youngest was born. Not the best time to have another one come on board as boys get so full on when they're 2/3 yrs old. I was really scared out of my mind that I wouldn't cope, even more so that we've now moved out of London and have no family nearby. Eldest goes to nursery 3 mornings a week but he's been happy doing so from 2 yrs old.
Well, 3 months on and it's not that bad. As Widger said, the youngest basically follows eldest's routine. I was so ROUTINE with my first one. This one, forget it. He sleeps in the car on the way to and from the nursery. Sometimes has a lunchtime nap, sometimes not. But it's ok, he's been doing good up to now. Does help that he's been very easy going but then a lot of people say it's also because I'm not as stressed about it all as first time around. All in all, I'd say do plan to get some childcare for first one as even if they're at home with you, they'll want loads of attention. My eldest is still pretty jealous of 2nd one, even though he usually gets most of my attention. And just remember, soon enough they'll play together and it should get better (or so I am told!).

[AbbevilleMummy]

I agree with Widger. I had a 21 month gap and it's tiredness that's the issue as you are up during the night with a baby and then entertaining a toddler during the day. This is especially true during the winter months as you don't have the bright sunny days and fresh air to keep you awake.

Try to force your toddler to keep having lunchtime naps for as long as possible! Also, get the hang of breastfeeding one handed whilst doing things with your toddler! Other than that, you'll be fine. The kids have to learn pretty much straight away that they have to fit in with each other. But by and large, the new baby fitted in with the toddler's routine. This was great for my toddler, however, I think it meant that it took longer for my new baby to sleep through the night as he didn't really have a good 3 or 4 hour routine during the day.

I lasted about 6 months on my own before getting an au pair as my baby still wasn't sleeping through and I was on the point of collapse!

[Claudia T]

Hi, thank you sow much for all you're advice
I will be by my own as we can't afort nanny and my mom is not well to come and help me
I will have my husband for the first weeks but I m sure it will be not the right halpe as with my first son he didn't halpe me at all
I hope I will manage with both, I m only stressed for the first months
Thank you again

[DauntricaMStewart]

Hope you have an easy one. The greatest challenge I faced was finding comfy clothes in those later stages. And with a lot of people around(supposedly to help), I had to dress proper. But in those days all you all you can think of is a plus size dress and some leggings. So stock up on plus size blouses or dresses to keep you cool and comfortable.