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[wandsworthmummy12]

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[kfk101]

It sounds like childish curiosity but I'm not sure what age your child is or how persistent the child/children are who are doing this and how playful it is versus pressurised.

0-5 curiosity and touching is age appropriate but the children involved should still be educated about appropriate behaviours, the Pants rules are good. If it is the case that one child is persistently doing this to other children it is probably cause for further investigation.

It's great that your child was able to talk to you about what's going on.

This traffic light tool is very helpful in relation to child sexual development.

http://www.brook.org.uk/index.php/traff ... ool-0-to-5

[wandsworthmummy12]

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[ciknuk]

I had similar experience today. I was searching information about this and find this thread. But, I don't know how to stop them!
I have also found some information here https://bestflushingtoilet.org/ but not much compare to this thread.
What is your personal opinion about this topic?

[sloaney donkey]

Report to the police

Heaven knows what goes on in the homes of some children these days

[AbbevilleLife]

If a child so young states things like "let me do this to you or else I wont be your friend", they may well have been the subject of someone very much older saying the same thing to them. It needs investigating and I would personally report it to the police as these things have a habit of being swept under the carpet. It may well be innocent but still the children need to understand about respecting each over and therefore an intervention will at the very least prompt the school to act to improve child protection training.  

[Annbir]

I would let the school know. There may well have been other instances with the child that they already know about. The school should have robust safeguarding procedures in place and will call contact the appropriate authorities if needed. Also, the school can then talk to the year group (in an age appropriate way) about coercion (I’ll be your friend) and consent. The police and family services tend not to act on a one off instance such as what you have described however if the school has already has evidence of similiar things happening with the same pupil, they will have a better case to put forward for family services to intervene. I work as a teacher myself and that’s what I would do anyway.

[Loopylulu]

I agree with Annbir  - tell the school and they will be able to follow it up with the children appropriately, and keep a record of such reports so they can support all the children.

[ronich]

It has been interesting to read through this thread.

I also agree that this needs to be raised urgently as a safeguarding matter. You need to speak with the head of the school, and if they are unresponsive you need to report this incident to child social services and ofsted. It should be investigated following safeguarding procedures and not swept under the rug.

It is unusual for young children to be requesting to touch another persons private parts. I would be concerned that this boy has learned this language from an adult or another child. This child could also, inadvertently, be putting other children at risk.

Recently I heard about an acquaintance who's husband sexually abused their 8 year old child. Unfortunately it's not as uncommon as we might think.

If there is a predator he/she needs to be identified and stopped. Also, this person could be a staff member at the school, putting the other children at risk. This might seem over reactive, but I would trust your gut instinct that there is something fishy going on. You also need to make sure that child is safe.

[mum_1980]

Gosh this is really tough. I think that young kids are naturally curious so I'm less concerned about that, but it's the part where this particular child is being manipulative. It may be that he/she is being told the same thing by a predator, or it may be that this kid is quite forceful and bordering on bullying. One would hope that there is and has been no abuse involved at any time, but either way, you should talk to the teacher and if she/he is not being responsive, then the head.  I would hope that the school would handle it sensitively and speak with the parents of this particular child rather than rush to contact the police or social services, but schools have experience of this and they will of course know the parents and know of the child's circumstances. If there is something more sinister at hand, the school will know when higher authorities need to be called in.

I have been using the NSPCC's pants rules with my kids and teaching them the mantra "my privates are my own". But there are also some good books out there like My Underpants Rule https://kidsrulepublishing.com/  Also, there is a lady in Australia called Cath Hakason who talks a lot about this. Her website is https://sexedrescue.com/

I really hope that this was an innocent incident but either way, you need to speak to the school and it would be a good time for the school to talk to the kids about body safety and respect. In the meantime, as parents we need to protect our kids and empower them to say "no", whoever it is that is asking!

[sloaney donkey]

Report to the police and the school and social services

Send them each a letter by recorded delivery and keep a record it was delivered

More people who know the better

[40plus]

I would report to the school immediately, go straight to the Head. I would be worried and very concerned about this little boys behaviour.