Mum's opinions please. Post Reply

[Lifeinthecountry]

I think I am getting het up about something which maybe I shouldn't.
Half term is coming up and my friend has asked if she can come and stay with her husband and 2 children.
In the last 6 months we have left Wandsworth and moved out to the country, it is not a massive house but it does have a guest room.
Firstly I was looking forward to spending some quality time with my eldest who has just started school. She has 2 weeks off at half term and so our plan was to have 1 week abroad and the other week just pootling about spending time together as a family and maybe a few of our friends from London coming down for day visits. However one of my oldest friends has asked if she can come and stay for a few days.....
Her youngest daughter wakes at 5am and screams the house down until they let her out of the room, her eldest son is pretty good. This normally wakes my two who norm wake around 7.30/8am.
I have 2 young children myself and I don't know about anyone else thinks but having house guests is bloody hard work, let alone when you are knackered from being woken up so early. From past experience it basically involves us running around after them and absolutely exhausted by the end of the visit, my friend helps a little bit but not a huge amount. I just feel it won't be quality time for anyone especially for my eldest who doesn't see me as much now that she is at school. it will probably result in me being snappy.
They feel this year they can't afford to go away and so they thought they could come to us on holiday to us in the country!!! Am I being selfish?
I think the fair way would be too all get together and rent a cottage but they cannot afford that.
Am I just getting old before my time (early 40's) and should I just get over it and get on with it?

[hellokittyerw]

Perhaps i am very selfish, but i couldn't take having my best friends (or sister's or brother's for that matter) family with 2 kids visit us for 2 weeks.
I would make my own plans with my family and would them let them know when we can be available for their visit (max 1 week, ideally about 5 days).

[Lifeinthecountry]

Sorry I didn't quite explain, it is 3 nights....4 days.

[Mrs Contractor Mum]

In the words of that famous Grange Hill song - just say no.

She asked if she can come, you can say no - you're going to be busy/ away. Its not up to you to provide free holiday accommodation and childcare entertainment just because they can't afford to go away.

Perhaps a compromise would be a joint family day out somewhere halfway in between. That way you can focus on you eldest for the majority of the time and still have some fun with you friend.

[supergirl]

What cant you just say it is not convenient? "Oh yeav that would be great but sadly it is not really convenient this hzlf term. We already have some plans but i have a couple of days free for a day out if you wish".

Or "sure we can do 2 nights. Can we talk on the phone to organise the times, menus, childcare, etc".

Thats what we do with my best friend whether at hers, mine or a plsce we found together. She would never come empty handed and likewise.

I dont understand why people cant simply talk to each other especially as you say she is an old friend. Be honest and dont get upset thats not healthy.

But thats my opinion we love having guests.

Good luck.

[windmill26]

I would never invite myself to someone house (even my best friend!).

[Azilal10]

OR, if you really find it too hard to say no, why don't you go abroad for a week as planned and suggest they come and house sit for a couple of days whilst you are away, they could stay one more night on your return and you have pizza or something similarly easy that she/you could whip out of the freezer and they leave the next day.....just an idea.

Tricky though!
xx

[BalhamMumWorkingFT]

Make sure if you say yes that you plan it with her... Lunches, dinners, childcare, etc... You are not a free holiday... It should be great for both of you.