Awaiting miscarriage any advice? Locked

[helpneededplease]

Hi

Sadly we have found out that I have a blighted ovum rather than a viable pregnancy and now have to make the decision of whether to let the miscarriage happen naturally or have a D and C.
I am completely unsure of how to proceed, I have read many stories of how traumatic a natural miscarriage is, but is a D and C a good option when I have a toddler at home? Especially as I would have to have a general anaesthetic.

If anyone is willing to share their experiences or has any advice I would be most grateful

Thanks

[evainlondon]

Hi,
First of all, I am so sorry for you. It is such a difficult and painful situation.
I was in exactly the same situation as you a few years ago and I tried to go for a natural miscarriage with some help from acupuncture. It didn't work. Then I took some medication and that was a horrific experience - a lot of bleeding at home where we felt lost and unsure of what to do. After that I still had to have a D&C (which I had privately and it was really good) as there was some debris left.
Having a toddler with you, I would go for a D&C. Recuperation is not so bad after the general anesthetic, but you will need some help for a couple of days for sure.
Please feel free to PM me if you want to.
Eva

[Boobelle]

Hi,
I am really sorry for what you are going through.
I found out that I had blighted ovum at 8 weeks and decided to wait for natural miscarriage as I was terrified (and still am) of general anaesthetic and also at the time paranoid about any complications with D&C.
It took two weeks for the miscarriage to come. It started as a regular period but at night it got more painful, I would say similar to early labour pains. So it lasted trough the night and a little bit the next day and that was it in terms of painful contractions. I had a scan about two weeks later and it was all clear. My sister also had an early miscarriage and very similar experience.
It's a tricky one, some women find it emotionally too difficult to wait but for me the natural miscarriage was the right decision.
Good luck and all the best. x x x

[workingmum62]

Hi there, really sorry to hear about your loss. I have been in this position twice and made the decision to have an ERPC both times as I just wasn't happy sitting around waiting for it to happen. I went in both times on a Friday morning, had the procedure at lunch and was home by 5pm. I then had the weekend to recover while my hubby looked after our two boys. I was back at work on Monday and while not feeling 100% felt a lot better than I did waiting for it to happen. I am now happy to report I'm pregnant again so don't worry of it happens more than once. The sooner it's sorted the sooner you can move on and try again. PM me if you'd like any more info x

[missingthesun]

Hello. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I had a miscarriage a couple of years ago at 8 weeks. It was a blighted ovum too and it hadn't grown beyond 5 weeks. I went to St George's and was told to come back in 2 weeks to re-assess and maybe have a D&C if I wanted to. In the 2 weeks I had hardly any bleeding and I was investigating getting the medical tablet which causes a miscarriage rather than a D&C (they don't give out at SG but do at other hospitals) as i wanted to avoid an operation if possible. I was referred to another hospital to get the tablet and had a scan to double-check at which point it was discovered that I had 'miscarried' with hardly any bleeding. Apparently sometimes the blighted ovum gets reabsorbed by the body when it realises that the pregnancy will not progress. I found that I had one post-miscarriage period which was heavy and then I went back into my normal cycle and pregnant again straight after.

[Mills1234]

So sorry to hear you are having to deal with this. I think it is a very personal choice, and as others have said depends a fair bit on how you will feel/cope with waiting for it to happen. My miscarriage at 12 weeks started like a heavy period in the morning. It was fairly uncomfortable over the night, I didn't get much sleep and was slightly sick. The following day I got cramps for a couple of hours in the afternoon, and that continued for about 4 days when a bit more would be shed. I went for a couple of massages and asked for them to work on my tummy which seemed to coincide with the cramping but also shedding. When I had a scan 2 weeks after the start it was all gone and there was no need for any intervention.
I had a couple of odd length cycles and then fell pregnant again to full term.

However, everyone else I know has gone for a d&c to just get it done and dusted x

[mossymakes]

Hi
I'm so very sorry you are having to go through this, it is just awful. My experience of a D&C was not great, I got severe endometrial scarring afterwards (Ashermans syndrome) which resulted in two operations, huge cost, a lot of heartache and potential infertility. I am one of the lucky ones as I saw a private consultant early and managed to have a baby via IVF last year. I'm not saying that will happen at all and don't meant to scare you, it's just I would have wanted to know before I had mine. The NHS say Ashermans is very rare but actually it's not, it often goes unreported and people have to deal with it privately with the experts like I did. Saying that I'm sure it won't happen to you and like you I just wanted it over with so it's understandable how you're feeling.

[SydneyMummy]

Hello,

I was very sorry to read of your situation. It can be a very traumatic time.

There was a thread about this last year that you may find helpful; the link to it is:

http://www.nappyvalleynet.com/mums/view ... iscarriage

Whatever you decide make sure you take some time for yourself.

All the very best. xx

[Happy Valley]

Hello.
I am in the unenviable position where I have had both (one natural, two ERCPs).
My first miscarriage occurred naturally and was traumatic, physically as well as emotionally. It's difficult to know if my experience is normal, as people tend not to go into the nitty-gritty of what really happens, but it was pretty horrible. (Ignore the next bit if you really don't want to know what it's like...):Wondering at what point it was all going to happen, not wanting to be out of the house when it did. As soon as it starts wondering how I'm going to sort out the kids, work and all the other goings-on. LOTS of blood (this was not like waiting for a period, it was way beyond a sanitary towel situation), lots of sitting on the toilet, just when you think it's finished going back to the toilet, clots, some as big as sausages (TMI, sorry), stained clothes, putting sheets down everywhere. I didn't have any pain so I have something to be thankful for, I suppose.

The next time I had a missed miscarriage so I opted for an ERCP and it worked well for me - into hospital, out again, all sorted. The worse thing was getting ready for the operation, putting those horrible tights and gown on, someone pushing me in a wheelchair down to theatre, and all the time feeling REALLY REALLY sorry for myself and what we had lost. So sad.

Neither is great, but ERCP worked better for me and I opted for this on miscarriage number 3 too.

Sorry if this is all a bit too graphic but that's the reality - or was for me.
Good luck, my thoughts are with you. Big virtual hug.

[meldoublew]

Hello
I am so sorry to hear about your situation and it brings back lots of sad memories for me too. I was in your situation 3 times before. The first time I had a missed miscarriage there was not much talk in the hospital, it was abroad, I didn't speak the language and I guess I was a bit in shock. I just got given the tablets to bring on the miscarriage and I was sent home, where I had lots of pain and it took days and the pain was quite strong - bit like contractions when giving birth so I had to take a lot of painkillers and I only felt better after 2 weeks. The second time I found out about my miscarriage at week 7, also blighted ovum. That time I was really in 2 minds as I was offered the ERPC at C&W early pregnancy unit (NHS) or I could wait for Miscarriage at home. I was really scared of the operation under general anaesthetic but my partner said that the first time around I was in so much pain, it would be not good for our toddler to see me like that at home - I had already forgotten about that pain, but he remembered. So I decided for the ERPC to get it done with, and it was really quick, I felt already so much better the next day, and 2 days after I was feeling ok. (Physically,not mentally, that will take a long time). Then after my third miscarriage (heartbeat stopped at week 10) I decided again for ERPC, this time around it was a bit harder for me, it took me a week to recover, I guess cause I had already been further in the pregnancy my body did get into a bit of a shock and I was not well for a week. So it is definitely a personal choice, and depends a bit how far along you are but if you just want to stop waiting around the best thing is the ERPC. Then you can start looking forward again, and not back. I hope this helps and hopefully this will be the only and last time you will have to make this decision. Good luck.

[Happy Valley]

ERPC I mean!

[NYE31]

So sorry for your loss, I've had 3 ERPCs & I would recommend having one.

I had my 1st 2 at C & W & I had my 3rd at Parkside.

Take care x

[12345pop]

Hello,

I am likely going to need an ERPC after finding an empty sac at a scan this week. I am going to go private, and looking for a recommendation of someone to see at Parkside? My GP has given me a short list, but I don't really know where to start!

Thanks a lot.

[SydneyMummy]

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I was referred to St. Georges for my D&C and they were great.

Sorry that I can't recommend anyone at Parkside.

I wish you all the very best.

[kpm116]

Hello,

Firstly, let me just say as well how sorry I am for you and for this situation- so sad! For my first pregnancy, we found out at the 3 month scan that there was no heartbeat and I had to make the same decision. As it is a personal one, I sought the advice of the nurse and drs at the hospital. They said that having the operation would be the least traumatic option as having a natural miscarriage can happen at anytime and can be quite messy. But, the NHS wasn't able to perform the operation until after the Easter weekend, which would have been too long of a wait. I called around and spoke to countless hospitals and secretaries and it was horrible having to repeat this procedure name that I needed. Finally, I was exhausted and stressed, dealing with Bupa and their list, finally I called Parkside and spoke with the operator. She told me that she knew exactly who to see as she had to have the same procedure not too long ago. Professor Manyoda. Then, my sis inlaw, who was coming w me to the initial dr appointment had to delay a tutoring session with a parent in this area and explained why. This mum of 4 said that he was the best and that she had sadly had a few miscarriages and he was wonderful.
My husband and I found him to be such a kind man, great bedside manner and the operation was quick and recovery painless. It is a horrible time and getting it over and done with quickly was the best thing for me. I am not sure if it is possible to send private messages on this forum, but am happy to speak with you if you'd like more info.
Hope this helps.