Any experience of private midwife? Post Reply

[Mills1234]

I'm pregnant with our second baby, and am contemplating if it may be worth the cost of a private midwife to attend my NHS care at St Thomas'. For many reasons our first birth care was a complete car crash and it is all coming back to haunt again in this pregnancy. I've been referred for PTSD therapy by the hospital (who have completely held their hands up to the catalogue of disasters). One thing the CBT therapist has asked is if I could get more independent assistance, and so I wondered if anyone else has taken someone independent to the hospital in with them, and if so how it went? I'm wondering if it makes your NHS midwife feel like your stepping on toes, or that you aren't their responsibility any more? Any feedback greatly appreciated.

[ExitPursuedByABear]

Hi lovely, I'm so sorry you experienced a difficult first delivery.

If you need an independent midwife, I wholeheartedly recommend Annie and Tina at Neighbourhood Midwives. http://www.neighbourhoodmidwives.org.uk

Our NHS midwife seemed to think 'the more the merrier', probably pleased that there were more people to share the load.

[KateHelloMums]

As someone who has been working with mums and children for nearly 17 years now it always breaks my heart when I hear (unfortunately way too often) how bad the pre and post natal care is provided by the NHS Midwives. Of course, I am not saying the midwives are to blame but the numbers have been cut down so drastically that there is not enough midwives around - and I firmly believe that they are the heart and soul of every birth.

I met Tina not too long ago and I can only agree with ExitPursuedByABear as
http://www.neighbourhoodmidwives.org.uk are just fantastic - the service and the care they provide is outstanding.

I truly hope your next birth will be a significantly more pleasant one - if you can say that:) and don't give in as there are amazing childcare professionals in London!

Kate

[Elsa09]

Hi,
I have had babies at St.Thomas's. However I always had private consultant led care. But the whole way through all my pregnancies I was also looked after by the midwives on The Wetminster suite. (Tommies private ward.)
Why don't you pop up there and see if you can chat to them. Maybe one of those can attend your birth? That way they know the hospital etc... They are a lovely group of ladies, well experienced and stuffed full of knowledge and great bedside care. They realy fight your corner and make sure you have what 'you' want. They are calm and cheerful and make you feel so special.
Hope you find what you need.
X

[evainlondon]

Another vote for Neighbourhood Midwives. Whatever you decide, in my experience private midwifery is one of the best investments you can make. I just hope it becomes available to everyone soon!

[curly]

I had a private midwife at both my births. The first one was at hospital and the NHS midwife didn't mind a bit as it meant that she could stay at the business end and my orivate midwife could stay at the head end and talk to me when needed.

the private midwife was a godsend as she was completely there for me, translating the doctor speak into a language that I could understand, explaining what my options were and what the consequences were etc. She could also talk to the NHS midwife to reiterate what wanted. I was therefore completely calm throughout and my birth ended up being without any interference from the docs, who wanted to intervene. I trusted my private midwife completely and really felt calm because she was there.

It was such a positive experience that for my second I had him at home and employed her again.

She will completely look after you and your needs, and completely reassure you freeing up the NHS midwife to do all the paperwork and business end stuff.

Good luck. If it makes you feel any better, my friend had an absolute mare with her first and told the midwives at St Thomas' about it when she fell pregnant with no 2. the hospital went out of their way to reassure her and her second was a much better experience.

x

[Mills1234]

Thank you for all the positive replies. Elsa09, I hadn't thought of asking the private midwife team at the actual hospital, so good suggestion.

Curly, did you also use the neighbourhood midwives? To be fair to St Thomas's, a possibly with your friend, they are reiterating that there just will not be a repeat of last time, but I guess my faith is somewhat dented. However, good to hear they did actually see that through for your friend.

Out of interest if there is an extra person in attendance, do father's end up being a bit pushed out, or is it a matter of everyone has their role as such? Not that my other half would probably mind if he was jobless after last time, which he describes as the worst 36 hours of his life!

[curly]

I didn't use them as I went to the Birth Centre in Tooting which has now closed down. I got transferred to hospital and the private midwife came with me. I actually had a few people in the room with me so there wasn't a restriction but I imagine they would only generally have one person as well as a midwife. My partner was there with my mum so they looked after each other and the midwife looked after me. Perfect! Everyone was much more relaxed because we had someone on our side taking control of what was happening. My private midwife had been there many times and so they knew her so it helped.

It was worth every penny and much cheaper than going completely private which worked out to be very pricey.

Re my friend, she had two failed epidurals and so St Thomas' organised for her to meet the anaesthetist who talked her through it and then met the head consultant who talked to her about all her worries and then reassured her. He also said to her to get him paged when she arrived so if he was on duty he would keep any eye on her. Hence she was much more relaxed when coming to the hospital.

Good luck

[hhirst]

HI
How did you get on with enquiring about using one of the private midwives at Tommy's? We are due in 7 weeks (first baby) and I am intrigued to know about this.... thank you xx

[MGMidget]

I also booked a birth with private midwives at the private Birth Centre (now closed) next to St George's. The midwife came to my home first to assess me but decided I had to transfer to hospital as I had a bit of bleeding. Unfortunately she was pretty useless in hospital. Every time any discussion was needed regarding an intervention I found myself having to have the discussion without her. She was busy phoning or texting or writing notes on the other side of the room but not involved. I really felt that private midwives were an expensive waste of money in an NHS hospital as (back then at least) they were not allowed to act as a midwife in the hospital. I was told by the hospital staff that my midwife could be my doula in the hospital.

I am now expecting again and this time around I am considering hiring a Doula. They are much cheaper than private midwives and unless the hospitals have changed their policies all a private midwife can do for you in a hospital setting is be a Doula anyway. Doulas are trained to perform the support role in a hospital setting so I am hoping one would be more useful than my private midwife was!

If you want to go the private midwife route I would check in advance what role the midwife will be able to play in the hospital setting and compare it with what a doula could do for you for a lower price.

[szczepam]

I used a private midwife at my hospital birth. It was Odette at Regents Midwifery. I would highly recommend her. The NHS nurse who delivered my baby was grateful for the second pair of hands so no turf issues. I would recommend you get a private midwife that has worked at the hospital you are expecting to deliver your child at. Because they know a lot of the current practicing midwives, it makes it much easier when they turn up. Odette gave my husband and I the confidence to walk out of the hospital when the doctors wanted us to stay. It was great to be at home in my own bed and not on a busy maternity ward.

[fulhammum]

I too had a grossly mismanaged first birth that was very traumatic & endangered my baby's life. I won't go into it but thankfully we came through it. For my next birth I thought that the way forward was to be actively managed. This resulted in a delivery by ventouse, a lot of pain & again fear. During my pregnancy with my third I felt fear at every hospital visit, someone suggested a doula, which having researched it I think is an excellent idea for support during birth. However as my research progressed I came across a private midwife who I spoke to about options & risks. This led to me having a beautiful, empowering home birth with my third son. I did hypnobirthing, read many books & meditated to prepare ( I'm happy to share any more info). It was pain free & I was in my own bed having tea & toast within a very short time. My midwife was excellent, educated, connected, professional & I really recommend looking into private midwives & birth options.

[pieinthesky14]

I had a private midwife at tommys with my 1st in 2011 and it was a disaster. When pregnant last year I was referred to the head of risk and head midwife there to discuss what happened and plan for the next. I was clearly traumatised. Long story but what was clear was that there was conflicting opinions in the room with nhs and private midwife.
With my last preg it was total reversal as I used private Westminster suite and the midwives there are outstanding. I'm all for support, just be aware of the impact. Please message me if you need to chat.

[MamaSass]

Hi

I'm so sorry you had a terrible care at your first birth. The continuity of care from an independent midwife will I'm sure make a massive difference. The other option might be to hire a doula. I am a doula but at 38 weeks pregnant myself am not self promoting! I just thought I might be able to help you by giving you another idea. I've been at many second births where the first has left both parents with PTSD on some level which is so sad, but second time around with continuity, support and with someone you trust to be an advocate the experience has been a wonderful one. Whatever unexpected turns the birth might take.

Have a look at http://doula.org.uk/ if you're interested in Doulas.

All the very best with whatever you choose.

Sass

[MamaSass]

P.S Just read your second post - Doulas support both parents so your DH should not feel pushed out at all. In fact he should find himself more involved! I teach some basic massage techniques to dads for instance. I also make sure that partners know what is going on / why its happening throughout.