Postby gcatuk » Mon Jan 31, 2011 12:48 pm
Hi, I’m a first mum of 11 month twin girls. I’ve been back to work since Oct and went through similar dilemma initially. I have contracted in the past and have entertained going back, but decided to stick to perm for now. Yet, we still have the peaks on hours and the odd business trip and all in all both are out of the house for at least 10 hours most days. So, in the end we opted for a full time nanny. Here is my pro’s and con’s of both:
I checked 6 nurseries in my area, and this is what I found:
Nursery pro’s: 1- Ready set environment that adjusts to your child’s needs. 2- It’s easy to get references, Ofsted inspections and even go and visit several times if need be. 3- Your home is yours. 4- Less opportunities for things like staff tardiness, illness, or general unreliability to get in the way. 5- Your child will socialize with similar age kids. 6- Your child will learn lots from this (i.e. handling silverwear, or potty training) 7- If you only have one child, and can work around their schedules, this is maybe a cost effective solution (£800 to £1200 per month). Also eligible for childcare vouchers (not sure if they will still be around in April). 7- Structured and varied activities like singing, story time, outside play, etc. 8- You’ll meet other mums/dads that live locally
Nursery’s con’s: 1- You have to adjust to their schedules, menus and routines. Things to think about around schedule: you have to think about the drop off’s and pick ups. If you are late, they fine you at the rate of £5 per 5 mins. Most close at 6pm, so if you need to work later than that, this is a problem, as you will have to pay someone to pick them up. They serve breakfast between 8 and 8:30, so if you are later than this, you have to feed your child breakfast yourself before you leave. Either way, you have to get up at 6 and you are not getting to work any earlier. About menus, I didn’t like that most of the stuff on the menu involved cheese, tuna, cauliflower and lots of puddings, nothing against these things, it’s just that I’d like to see lots more fruit and veg in there. To their credit, most said they would feed them other stuff if I brought it in, but if I have to keep doing the cooking, what am I paying them for? Plus, how long will my kids want to eat apple for snack when everyone else is having a crumble? Their routines were good, with lots of fun activities and they kept a diary of everything, but their nap times did not adjust to our schedule. This is a problem with little ones, especially two of them I do not want to have them cry all evening when they get home because they didn’t nap properly. While they tell you that they have a ‘quiet area’ and ‘rest times’ I found that if your child is tired outside schedule, they’ll let them sleep wherever they are (‘through the noise’). Again, I didn’t think this would work for us, as two unsettled babies is way too much to handle. Maybe ok for just one. I needed mine synchronized (i.e. to sleep together), and they couldn’t guarantee that. 2- Your child will be ill more often and if feverish or with something contagious, they won’t take him in, so you need a plan b. Again, with 2,babies this is a bigger problem, since one would get ill first, and then the other a few days later. For some people, this is a real problem because their child is prone to chest infections or the like and end up out of nursery every other week (I know someone who had to change from nursery to nanny until baby was older because of this problem). 3- Generally, I found them pretty dirty, but that may be just me… Not a huge issue though, and not a reason to rule nursery out, but it was just one more thing. 4- You have to work out how long it will add to your commute to go to and from nursery. All the ones in my area where 20 mins in the opposite direction to the tube, which added 40 mins each way (or a whopping hour and a half in total) per day, this is a lot to fit in when you are permanently out of time. 5- Usually, they have a waiting list and takes months to get accepted. Most have most of their vacancies in September and you have to give them at least 1 month notice if leaving. So , not an ideal solution if you are planning to pull baby out while not working. 6- Every nursery is different, but I found most gave you a full time option (8 to 6 every weekday) and a part time. The part time option varied by place. Some had half days (but no less than 2 or 3 half days per week) some forced you to pick 2 or 3 full days per week.
Nanny pro’s: 1- she adjusts to your schedule, routine, and menus. So no mad rush in the morning, or in the evening, or to pick them up when ill. They eat what you want them to, the routine is what you set out and it adjusts to your exact needs. Schedule: Obviously you have to be realistic, most people like to have a steady schedule and can’t be expected to work late without warning day in and day out. I decided to have my nanny for 10 hours a day, even if I didn’t always need her that long, in which case I let her go home early. In return, she is ok to stick around for an extra 30 mins here and there if my partner is caught on the tube on the way home. I also decided to have her full time from the start, even though I was off work two days a week for the first month, and 1 day for two more months. I found it hard to find someone that would agree to 3 days a week, for a month, then 4 for two months, then full time. People are usually looking for a certain income and certain schedule, I wasn’t prepared to change nanny every few weeks for the sake saving some money on my days off. I just used the days to get on with other stuff. In the mornings, I don’t have a mad rush. I wake up and play with the babies until nanny gets in, then shower while she gets their breakfast. In the evenings, if things go wrong and we are late, I can then pay her more for that time or give her time off in lieu (and I always honor it). 2- Children don’t get ill as often, and if they do, nothing really changes. 2- She may help with staff outside her remit, like running errands or doing some tidying up. You do need to make sure her remit is very clear and realistic. You can’t expect that this person will childmind and clean, and run errands and do a million things you couldn’t fit in yourself, be realistic, don’t expect her to do miracles, and bear in mind she too will need a break here and there. My nanny offered to clean my house, which I found charming, and would have loved to accept, but I knew she would not have the time to do it. So, I made it clear I was happy for her not to do it and to only do what she could. Once she started she understood what I meant as her hands were full with just the babies. Every day I leave a chore or two for her to do be it laundry or some light shopping or run the vacuum. But I always make it clear the children come first. She manages to do it most times, and some times she does more, this works for all of us. As they get older and easier, it may be possible to fit in more chores. 3- In London, really easy to find someone suitable. I found ours in one week. I posted an ad and had over 30 replies in 2 days. So far so good. Worth paying extra for stability, reliability and experience.
Nanny cons: 1- this is the hardest one: you have a stranger at home. No matter what amount of checks you do, ultimately you have to trust the person. 2- You also have to make room for that person in your home and accept that she too has a life and every once in a while it will interfere with yours. 3- Your nanny is your single point of failure, is she is ill or tardy, you will need a plan B. Goes without saying, finding someone reliable is critical. 4- You have to be reliable yourself, you can’t now have them work, and then not, and then more hours and then less. It’s very important that you find a schedule that works for both. She will want to work a minimum amount of hours per week, and there will be a maximum she can commit to, find out what those two numbers are and work within those limits, and provide as much notice as possible when changing. If you expect periods of not working, may be worth keeping a nanny for the minimum amount of hours just so you don’t lose her. 5- It is expensive. When you add up tax and NI, you’ll be looking at a minimum of £2500 per month for 50 hours a week. This will be harder to swallow if you are not working.
If I were you, I would go for one of these options:
1- Large nursery with plenty of spaces – I found one like this nearish my home. It is not my first choice but it is ok and there are no waiting lists. Children can start within two weeks of registering. Also, they offer half days (one of the few), so you can keep your child attending when out of work. But bear in mind you still have to provide one month notice. You still have to figure out what you will do after 6, if you have long hours you will need a nanny. You may also have to accept that if you go through periods of no work and no need for nanny, you may lose her, but it will be easy enough to find someone else, hopefully you don’t expect this to happen to often.
2- Part time nursery (i.e. half days) and part time nanny – Take baby to nursery for the first half of the day and continue doing so even when out of work so his place is guaranteed for when you go back, plus he will have continuity no matter what. Then have a nanny for the second half of the day. While you are working, she can stay long hours to fit your schedule, when you are not working, you can reduce her hours (if she is happy with this) or make it clear from start that if you stop working she will go, so it is a temporary arrangement. When you go back to work you can find another nanny.
3- Have full time nanny or full time nursery whether or not you are in work. It is expensive if you are not in work, but after all, guarantees that you have the childcare sorted when you need it. It is also better for you baby to have some stability.
Anyway, sorry about the lengthy response. Hopefully it helps. All in all, I recommend you write down your priorities, is it your child having continuity of care? Is it sticking to a childcare budget? Once you have this it will be easier to decide.
