When is it inappropriate to use a potty? Post Reply

[Pod]

So we are on day 3 potty training my daughter who is 21mths
First two days at home getting the business in the potty 50/50 for wees and a brilliant 100% no.2s ( sorry if tmi but I thought no.2 would be the trickiest)
Anyway we decided to head out to the library (more books needed for long stints on potty) and rhyme time was on too so a welcome bit if entertainment and company. I sat my daughter on a maternity mat for singing with potty next to her. Dry for the 30mins of rhyme time and we chose some books. Suddenly my daughter started saying "psssssssss" which I know from the last two days experience means I have a tenth of a second to grab potty before we have niagra falls. So I did and was met with a raging make librarian who yelled and pointed -"there's a toilet over there!!!!" Seeing as we were in the children's library and there wasn't exactly the time to get to the stinky library cubicle I just did what was needed to save the library carpet (that is covered with stains and quite frankly is pretty repulsive) I tried to defend my actions and began to explain the potty training and he said "well as long as she doesn't do anything in here!!!"
I promptly bust into tears (hormonal, tough few days and a bad back had me emotional) other mums were so supportive and saying he's a bloke clearly not a dad and to ignore him, that they thought the maternity mat reuse was fab idea and to not let it upset me. It was too much so crying I grabbed a pile of books and sat in the stinky toilet cubicle on the floor with her reading stories for ten mins to no avail. We left the library still dry no wee, and once out in the far hair I heard her saying Psssssst and she set on the potty outside tooting library having a pee on her potty much to the amusement of passer bys cooing and smiling.
Should I have not gone to the library? Staying in the smelly cubicle and missing out on rhyme time seemed counterproductive to going in the first place.
Should I just be staying home? As a nanny ten years ago I think I tackled it by staying at home for 3 days then venturing out - but even toilet trained 4year pls can have accidents I can't stay home until she's 5 surely?!?!

[actuallyadad]

my worst ever was probbaly the eldest having a number 2 in the Benugo cafe at the V&A....

Also we have had al fresco incidents on Broomwood road, in the carpark of Highclere Castle (aka Downton) etc etc

My view - if they've got to go they've got to go...

[Pod]

Thank you for your understanding and sympathetic ear "actuallyadad" i agree when needs must - Crikey a no.2 in the V&A cafe that tops the list of places indeed!!

[Seb]

I reckon you could have walked away from the number 2 in the museum and people would have thought it was art

[actuallyadad]

[Jen66]

sorry but I think using a potty like this is pretty grim.

good luck with the toilet training but - in my opinion - potties are for home use only.

[actuallyadad]

yep I'm not proud...but it's better than leaving a mysterious puddle I think...

[Lukesmummy]

I'm (well, my son) is on week 2 of potty training so I sympathise. Just ignore the librarian and concentrate on your daughter who seems to be doing really well. We also have the potty with us as, although my son is good at asking, I have only seconds to produce the potty! Consequently, whenever he asks, the potty comes out wherever we are. We don't plan on going to restaurants etc so that's no concern but like you, I will encourage him to sit whenever he feels the urge. My role is to ensure there are no spillages so i take a matt too. I think this is much better than an 'accident'. I've had a few strange looks, even in the park, where dogs are pooing and weeing freely but no one seems to mind that it seems. I also say to myself that toilet training is simply another stage and we won't always be tied to our pottys like this!! Chin up and carry on!!

[vendredimanche]

Hi there
I know I should not respond to your post if I do not have something supportive to say, but you did ask - is it inappropriate?!! So I can't help it - I am sorry but I think it is completely inappropriate. I would never carry a potty around and get my child to do his/her business in public, be that a library, a supermarket, a restaurant... I am trying to imagine the scene of someone carrying a full (smelly?) potty across a library to the nearest toilet without spillage. Potties are for the house (although portable potties can be used in public toilets) and my children wore pull-up nappies for outings whilst potty training in case we did not have ready access to toilets. I mean, I understand going behind a bush or somewhere discreet outside, but in a library – and on the pavement outside the library!? Sorry I must be very old-fashioned, but I am quite shocked actually, and also really surprised that other Mums in the library were supportive of this...
But anyway, good luck with the training and I hope your back is better soon!
VdM

[Vhopeful]

Personally speaking I wouldn't off ventured to the library on day 3 of potty training my rule has always been to stay at home week 1 and then venture out once confident. I think using a potty is better than letting them pee on the carpet but not something I would personally do.
Maybe give it a few more days at home of head to the park/playground with a portable potty if the house is driving you crazy.

[Pud1]

I'm with you Vendredimanche. I like the idea of walking across the library with a full potty! Not appropriate.

[Amy6302]

When they gotta go, they gotta go! I'm not sure I would have whipped out the potty in the middle of the libary, maybe rushed down an aisle or something, but if it's between a wet baby or a little embarrassment of a potty in public I'd go with the second. Luckly we had a folding potty so the part that held the wee was like a carrier bag - no carrying pee around for me!
When my niece was potty training I say at the side of the road, in parks, at bus stops - where ever we where when she needed to go (obv I tried to be discreet but sometimes there's no choice)

Maybe don't plan to be out for long for a little while longer.

Good luck!! Don't worry about other people, do what is right for you!
Ps the mat pad is genius

[headshrinker]

Never understood the all-or-nothing approach to potty training. I let mine practice at home but would still stick a nappy on when we were out and about. It doesn't stop them learning. No need to rush these things and get it done in a week. They all get there in the end.

Taking a potty and using it in public is infinitely preferable to having your kid pee all over the floor but I guess I am just wondering why you would make it so hard for yourself. Another example of parents feeling pressured to achieve certain milestones? Wait til they can hold it a little longer and none of that would be necessary...

Sounds like it was handled insensitively though. Doesn't surprise me as have often found that library staff (even in the children's section) don't seem to really like kids very much. Or at the very least have very unrealistic expectations of how they might behave...

[Pod]

Thank you for your replies perhaps the library was too advantageous on day 3 and the park a better option, however i knew my daughter had zero intention of having a poo as she'd done it in the potty at home before we went out ( and has been doing so for the last week - hence no pushy milestone going on here she just began doing it herself so no smelly contents out and about - yes we use the pottette- Folding one with a bag and absorbent pad too.
Having been a nanny for ten years and potty trained a few children I know that nappies for out and about confuse things and make it harder to grasp the concept, hence why I'm being consistent. I too remember pulling out the potty for children at the zoo or park if the toilets were too far to make it without an accident. Today was just that - avoiding an accident - she can actually hold her bladder for 4hrs.
I respect everyone's view and will perhaps stay clear of indoor activities for next next week or so - apart from swimming ofcourse. Like swimming in a giant potty I guess seeing as swim nappies do nothing to contain urine - maybe those a tad squeamish about occasional needs must potty use also avoid public pools too

[MaternityNanny84]

Inside Waitrose in Kingston in the pasta aisle.
It was a n 2. It was urgent.