When is it inappropriate to use a potty? Post Reply

[MaternityNanny84]

Inside Waitrose in Kingston in the pasta aisle.
It was a n 2. It was urgent.

[pigeonpairmum]

Some interesting comments on this thread, which brought back memories of carrying a potty around for months (and not a foldable one). Could not face trying to clean up a public toilet in time for a little one to use it: just not realistic and tends to make child panic.. parent too; adult-sized seat so nowhere for child to push on; my 2 used to sit there for ages too and I didn't want to rush them etc. I had no worries at all about getting the potty out (although admittedly my 2 never really had an urgent need in any of the openly public places mentioned.., and it was largely summer time, which helped). I find it a bit strange to hear that your child needs to have a wee, and you get embarrassed about it?! That's not exactly going to help the child is it? I carried plenty of wipes, changes of clothes and a waterproot maternity mat (Just In Case we were indoors somewhere). Always tried to be discrete, behind trees etc, but sometimes you just gotta get on with it. No point in making anything of it in front of the child. And other adults should know better. V insensitive librarian. I disagree with the approach of "potty at home, nappy when out" as I think it hinders development and confuses the child (not long term of course, but if you're going to train, then grin and bear it and get through it, provided the child is ready - not the parent - perhaps some of these instances are of a child who is not ready..), but maybe that approach works for some. I took the view that: how can your child learn if it doesn't feel the need to go, and have a couple of accidents along the way...? And so what, everything can be washed! Even the library carpet

[Pod]

To the original poster - there has been a discussion of your post on Tooting Baby Network on Facebook. The responses have been very supportive! If you aren't already a member it's a great group for local parents. All the best with the potty training.

Thank you toddler mum I've checked it out but TBN is a closed group - not sure how I join it? X

Pigeonpairmum thank you for your kind support too, my Mum said she always carried a potty round with us 35years ago and never had anything but sympathetic words of encouragement from passing parents.

[Mummy2b2212]

If you are doing the best thing for your child in YOUR opinion then it's the right thing. Stay strong and don't worry about other people, I'm sure they do things you wouldn't do too.

Personally I wouldn't bat an eye at a child going to the loo in a potty, I don't see it as any different to when I see parents desperately running to the bushes with a kid in tow on the common. You've gotta do what you've gotta do!

Keep smiling x

[Pod]

Thank you both mummy2b and Petal both your posts made me smile and breathe a sigh of relief!
I can cheerily say we've had the best time since that awful experience on Thursday.
I decided to head to all saints playgroup on friday armed with potty and explained the situation - they couldn't have been more accommodating and sympathetic saying it wouldn't be the first accident there - even showed me where the mop was and the toilets had 5 potty of varying styles!
Anyway after a couple of false starts my daughter managed to run to the loo with me and used the potty hurrah ! And again in the carpark and the run if good luck continued all day with no accidents.
Today we've been to ballet and balham library and made it to the loo to use our potty at both venues. Needless to say they'll be more accidents to come (not sure I'm lucky enough to have cracked it in five days) but she's certainly found the on off switch for now!
Thank you to everyone for your responses and support ( and to those on TBN) without the encouragement and kind words I'm not sure if I'd have continued to be where we are now! Thank you xx

[BetteDavisEyes]

I think using a potty when out and about is absolutely fine, but at the same time, a little common sense could prevail... if you didn't want to have to clean the library loo before using it, perhaps you could have taken two seconds to go through the door from the library room to the library 'loo corridor' to sit with your daughter there. I absolutely hate using public loos too, but taking my toddler in there whilst I go has made me have to get over it a bit - I can't stop him touching any surfaces; we just wash hands on the way out. Presumably if you go to the loo when you're out you also have to take your toddler in there.

I would also say: if your daughter is at the stage where she has only a few seconds to get to a potty - maybe she doesn't have enough bladder control and it's a little early to be training (though I do realise when to toilet train is a can of worms!).

There is no excuse for rudeness from the library staff though - a quiet word to ask if you would mind using the loo provided, out of consideration for other library users, would have sufficed. It is possible that he's had other mothers with their children using potties in there in the past though, for no 2s - and he has to sit in there all day. I don't really mind the smell of my little boy's poo, but I do mind the smell of other people's! Perhaps he's just a bit fed up with it if it's a regular occurrence.

[LizzieTheNappy]

We are potty training too and I had to whip the travel potty out on the bus the other day. It was pretty mortifying but surely better than wee all over the bus. When they're just starting out I really don't see what other options you have other than wearing a nappy when out which quite frankly I think is very confusing.
The mat idea is genius - will be getting one.
Don't worry about the negative comments, it won't be long until she's able to hold on long enough to get to somewhere more discrete.

[Pod]

Well done Lizzie for managing on a bus wow! My daughter has now had no accidents and been dry for 4.5days hurrah! And we can happily get to the loo to use the potty as she can hold on. Just glad after the rough day in tooting library we didn't give up!