Need some help from you wise people pls. - My ex and I separated 6 months ago, he went off with another woman, and it's been excrutiatingly painful and very nasty. From just 5.5 weeks in, he wanted to introduce our children to her. At this incredibly early stage and the age of the children, 8 and 5, I felt it was utterly inappropriate and totally selfish on his part and everyone I told and my solicitor thought he was totally mad. I managed to prevent him from that first crazy threat with a solicitor's letter. He threatened a few more times after that and I had to send another solicitor's letter at one point, but they just passed their 6 month anniversary last week and he had a big conversation with me at the wkend telling me he thinks it's definately time now. He had intended to introduce them all on Saturday (having of course not told the children that's what would be happening on their weekend with Dad!). It ended up not happening as both children told him that they didn't want to meet her that day and are not ready to meet her yet and my 5 year old told his Dad he was scared to meet her! Fortunately, he actually listened to his children and put their interests ahead of his own for once. But of course he's pushing for the next weekend he has them, so we'll see if they're ready then.
Meanwhile, for my part, I don't think I can delay it any longer and I'm not too bothered anymore about putting it off any longer and yes I accept they are obviously together seriously, - so I told him, fine, but very firmly that I will be meeting her before the children do. No, I don't really want to spend a second in the woman's presence, I mainly just said it for the amusement of making it a bit more difficult for him and freaking him out
, which it did! But ultimately, even 'though it will probably be very painful and difficult, I do want to meet her because of course I want to get a measure of her, see how she treats my children, see what's really between my ex and her, feel her energy, see her mannerisms, - and see how she responds to me, because I've learnt a lot about her in the last 6 months, and as much as of course I would detest her, I actually think she's quite a nasty woman, and is going to totally rub it in my face that she has got my husband. He's already told me that she 'despises' me! - and has no interest in his children!!? Both of which are probably not quite true, just said to wind me up, but could be used against her, because how do I know they're not true?!So people, how do I behave???!! What do a I do? What do I say? What do I ask? Help! I want to be as prepared as I can possibly be for when the day finally arrives.
