Just can't get my toddler to eat, and doctor won't help! Post Reply

[frustrated]

Hi

My son is 2 1/2 and ever since we weaned him at 6 months we've had problems with his eating. When it all started we saw a feeding therapist privately, who suggested he had sensory issues with food. We saw an occupational therapist to learn some techniques and exercises to try and help him engage with food better, but 2 years down the line we are still facing the same story. In fact, it's getting worse. Our son will only ever eat 3 types of food at main meals (all of which are beige, uniform texture and not particularly healthy), milk, water, and a selected range of beige, crunchy snacks. That's it. We do manage to slip some abidec vitamins in his evening milk, which helps alleviate some of my nutrition concerns. But my bigger concern is that each time we try and introduce new foods, he just cries and screams without even tasting them. Sometimes he's make himself physically sick in the process. And he gets so tired on some days as he just has no energy. The old adage 'he'll eat when he's hungry' is just not true. Believe me, we've missed many a meal testing that.

The thing is, I'm now at a total loss what to do. I saw the doctor this morning who in no uncertain terms told me that the NHS can only help me if his weight is actually dropping (and by 2 centiles). Well he's already on the 9th centile, and although I don't think he drops weight he certainly doesn't gain it (all his clothes from last summer still fit him). I was told that they had no resource to help me with 'behavioural' or 'sensory' issues. If I need to go private again, I will find the money to do so as I'm so worried about my son and this is now affecting everyone in our family, but was wondering whether anyone else had any experience of this and could offer up some advice? Should I have been more pushy with the family doctor? Is there anyone else who can help us? Or should I just chill out about it and accept it for what it is?

FYI - his sensory issues seem to impact other parts of his life too - particularly how he plays (he won't touch certain textures) and how he sleeps (he craves the texture of my hair to fall asleep so I still need to lie with him to get him to sleep).

[Goldhawk]

Have you looked at http://mangetoutkids.com/ ?

[frustrated]

Thank you Goldhawk, that looks great - I'm going to call them today.

My son's nursery did very kindly bring in someone who runs a similar class for one of their morning sessions, but I love the idea of a whole course of classes… it's worth a try at least! And reading some of the testimonials on their website it sounds like they have helped families going through similar issues.

Thanks again for pointing me to it!

[2009Kat]

That sounds like a nightmare you poor thing. I can't help with any suggestions although it does sound like you both need some help - I wonder if somewhere like mumsnet might yield more suggestions etc.

[frustrated]

I've been putting off joining the mumsnet brigade up until now, but you are right - it's worth a shot!

I've also just called my doctors surgery to ask to see another doctor for a second opinion as the more I think about it, the more I feel they didn't really listen or understand… I know the NHS is at breaking point resource-wise and it's not all their fault, but perhaps I'll get a more sympathetic doctor next time...

[LP73]

My nephew was like this too and eventually grew out of it. So long as your toddler isn't losing weight then hopefully that will happen too.

[Earlsfieldite]

Nightmare. I can understand why you are worried.
You've probably tried all of this but in case not:
- always eat meals with him and emphasise how delicious your food is.
- try him in a different place/different people eg at a grandma's house without you there.
- get him to help you to cook the meal.
- make faces, animals etc out of the food.
- say that if he at least tries one mouthful he can have some dessert. This at least breaks the barrier of him even trying something.

In general I've found that you have to keep on putting things in front of kids even if they say they don't like them. It took almost two years of doing that before my son ate tomato and quite a few 'I don't want that on my plate' tantrums but it worked in the end. Easy to give them a narrower and narrower range of food otherwise. I'm no expert but I have done some child nutrition courses and the above is just that/stuff that's worked for people I know.

Hope you get it sorted.

[Pod]

Hi there,
I totally empathise with your situation not only have I worked on a one to one basis with children in a similar situation to your child for over ten years, my own daughter also has texture and sensory problems with food too.
Drop me PM and we can organise to have a chat this week to see if I can help you
Director and Founder
Mange tout

[Zaczac]

My son had a rating issue started from about six weeks old. We went through dietician and Speech:Language therapist.
If you need any particular advice please send me questions...x

[beachdreaming]

Hi, my son is almost two and in the 9th percentile too. Have you read "My Child won't eat?" It can be totally normal for kids to not eat much. Especially between 2 and 4. As long as he is fine developmentally and he isn't dropping two or more chart bars like 75th to 25th the doctor said he should be fine. I did check mine for iron deficiency several months ago because it is standard in the US as we had some high risk factors for iron deficiency (csection and breastfed) but no visible signs other than toe nail depressions. It was worth it and he is on iron supplements now. I can't know if his growth spurt is related but he is still lean regardless. We do natures plus vitamin drops and D drops with the iron too. Good luck. Important thing is to make sure your child is not forced to eat and builds a healthy relationship with food. Sometimes hiding veggies in things they like can help too- like baking them into muffins, etc.

[beachdreaming]

Also, very normal for kids to not like certain textures and go through phases. I also lie down with my son to go to sleep- actually we cosleep too and that's also totally normal for them to like to cuddle/ stroke hair to go to sleep so I wouldn't say he has sensory issues at all. Some experts try to get people to wean children off all needs from their parents so they're not too dependent on you when most cultures around the world cosleep and hold their children am the time. Your son sounds very normal and healthy and research shows the more love and cuddles you give, the earlier your child will become independent and more self confident.

[beachdreaming]

Sorry, I keep rereading your post and catching new things- the lack of energy is worrying. It might be worth checking for iron deficiency- I had to press the GP for it. It's very common and lethargy is a symptom. We did a blood test at Evelina children's hospital and they were wonderful. Good luck.

[chattymama]

This must be v stressful for you. I know you said money is an issue but I have a dear old friend who is a therapist & feeding consultant, who has helped with lots of really challenging cases. Though originally from London she's based up north (so not london prices!) and does lots of long distance advice over Skype.

Her email is johannacormack@gmail.com - I'm pretty sure it costs nothing to have an initial chat & see if it's for you).

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

[beachdreaming]

Me again. I kept thinking about your son and went back and checked my Nutrition Text book (Nutrition Through the Lifecycle 5th Edition)- I just took a course last Fall. This could be totally off but I thought it was worth including as something to discuss with a doctor for screening. Does your son have any possible signs of developmental delay? Even paediatricians can miss it. Attached is a chart of dietary symptoms, other symptoms include drinking liquids excessively and eating foods preferred by younger children. Delay in speech or social integration. "Offering food textures that he or she can eat successfully even is a monotonous daily intake results, or continuing to offer liquids in a bottle, may be appropriate choices in these circumstances." Adding variety is not always the best option in this case- "soft textures and mild tastes of preferred foods characterise a child closer to 1 year of age. The foods the child dislikes require higher oral skills. An evaluation of the child's overall level of functioning will likely indicate a developmental delay of the child's feeding skills."

This isn't to scare you but I would hate it if I was too blasé and you overlooked a potential problem. I go into the GP armed with information and keep pressing to see a specialist or get a needed test. That's what I did for the iron testing and the GP was surprised that I was right. Trust your instincts and at least exhaust all possibilities. Again good luck.

[KVDB]

We are going through exactly the same with my three year old daughter at the moment. Except that she has no weight issues but it effects her life in terms of her behaviour. Because she has no weight issues we have had to go privately and all I can say is the dietician and consultant have taken her case seriously and Although we thought it was all behavioural they both agree it most likely stems from allergies so we are investigating that at the moment. The gastro consultant told us we were very late to be coming to see him, so I would go back to your GP as it seems that there are things that can be done and the people you are referred too will be happy to see you and help. If you get no-where and have to go privately we contacted Dr Rosan Mayer who was highly recommended to us I haven't met her yet as she had a long wait list but she has been so helpful on Email. Good Luck.