Childcare for 6 week old? Post Reply

[Abbeville77]

Hello
I am due to have my first baby in October. I have to go back to work after 6 weeks so am considering either live in Au Pair or Nursery. Can anyone give advice? I live in Balham.

Thanks

[Astolat]

I don't think an au pair would / could care for a baby. An au pair is part time childcare, a few hours a day, for older children. They are usually free to do language classes etc in the day.
I don't know if a nursery would take such a little baby. Have you thought about a childminder?

[Bodders1]

Hi there, I don't think au pairs are allowed to look after children 2 (sole charge) although I don't think this is a legal thing, more precedent but you could check with an au pair agency. I would imagine there will be a handful of nurseries in the area that look after babies from 12 weeks but not 6 weeks. As a previous poster has said, a child minder might be better or have you considered a nanny share? Childminders and nannies are usually qualified and tend to have some basic first aid training whereas an au pair might not have. You don't mention your financial situation but IMO a nanny with experience of babies under 1 would probably be best for such a small baby but I know nannies can be expensive hence my suggestion of a nannyshare. Good luck making a decision!

[Bodders1]

sorry that should have said children under the age of 2...

[evieandrose]

An aupair is completely unsuitable for a 6 week old baby (and employing an au pair to work full time hours is illegal).

A live in (or out) fully qualified nanny is likely to be your best bet.

A (very) few nurseries do take babies of that age but I think a nanny would be better in terms of being able to spend 1-1 time with the baby, get him/her into their own routine etc. A nursery would be very noisy and a bit much for a 6 wk old I think.

Good luck.

[schoolgatesmum]

I would echo Petal. Six weeks is a very short recovery period both physically and mentally. Unless it is vitally essential I would really urge you to reconsider your maternity leave. There are ao many things which can happen and even if you have the best birth and recovery ever six weeks is still not very long. Babies are all consuming and exhausting (like you will never have experienced before!). If it is absolutely vital to go back to work the best think is to probably have a maternity nurse for when you get home followed by a live in nanny. And even then you will still have the baby every night, I don't want to scare you but I think you need to be a bit realistic about what to expect.

[Seriously?]

Hi,

I will try and give some practical advice, because I assume that you have valid reasons to need to work and perhaps you don't have the luxury of choosing to stay at home.

If you are able to be at home and assuming you only work part time as full time would never work, then an au pair could help you juggle things, but you would essentially still need to be in charge, have a very flexible work schedule and a great passion and motivation to want to work. Your baby could be a great sleeper and only waking once in the night by 6 weeks, or you could be still feeding every 1.5 hours and a sleep deprived zombie. An au pair won't be able to help you with the nights. During the day, an au pair could sit by a baby monitor while bubs is napping and you are working, perhaps take bubs out for a walk in the pram for an hour while you do some work. They could help you with washing and preparing bottles, maybe give bubs a bottle and general house tidying. If you went down the au pair route you would be best to use an agency and look for someone who had very hands on experience with significantly younger siblings or cousins. They would be able to help you choose the right person. Do not use au pair world, you can't afford to get it wrong.

Nurseries will only take babies from 3 months, and i wouldn't recommend that kind of childcare until your baby can crawl and is a bit mobile around 8 months.

Above all, you have to also anticipate being 2-3 weeks late and perhaps only 3-4 weeks post birth once your 6 weeks is up. If there is anything you can do to give yourself more time off, then please consider it as the reality of a baby can never fully be appreciated until they arrive.

[london_maman]

Telling the poster that going back to work after 6 weeks is cruel is really not helpful at all. She probably doesn't need the guilt and judgement of other people. In a lot of western countries women go back to work at around that time.
Wether you want to go back early or not is another debate.

OP please don't listen to people who will make you feel guilty.
Taking a year off for your maternity leave is the norm here, like going back to work part time. It's part of the culture almost!
Which I really love I have to say. However if you want/need to go back to work after 6 weeks, it doesn't mean you love your baby less.
A live in nanny is probably best though!
Good luck!

[london_maman]

Super open minded Petal! When I say western countries I don't just mean Europe. US for example?
A friend of mine had to go back to work 3 weeks after giving birth.
Not only the French are weird about this stuff.
Also, funny you talk about the weird French politician who got back to work after 2 weeks, my brother's boss came back to work after 2 weeks after giving birth. She is British by the way.

[Abbeville77]

Thanks to everyone who responded. I appreciate all your opinions.
i was just investigating options. Yes- it will be my first child so I don't really know what to expect. I have now found a nursery on my road and they take babies from 3 months.

The reason I have to go back to work is that I won't get paid maternity leave (I am a contractor) so I don't have the luxury of staying at home. However, I may be able to get a job with flexible working hours where I can work from home at least a couple of days a week (which is what I have for my current job).

I am also looking into the nanny option now- so thanks for your feedback. There really are a lot of variables at the moment so I just need to see how it all pans out.

Thanks everyone- really helpful.

[MGMidget]

If you need to go back that soon, I recommend hiring a maternity nurse initially. If you have the space a live-in maternity nurse would be best. They could potentially help with some of the night-time awakenings/feeds to give you a break. They are used to doing short-term temporary contracts so you could hire for a few weeks/months. You could then move on to a nanny share or nursery place, depending on your finances, preferences, what's available near you etc. If you are going to work full-time, a nanny share would be better than nursery for a small baby - more tailored childcare to suit your child and more flexible hours to suit you. Babies need lots of love and individual attention so think carefully about this if you are viewing/choosing nurseries. The educational programme of activities may sound appealing but how important is it for a baby? I think 3 months is very early to put a baby in nursery so I would definitely wait for longer than that before putting a baby in nursery.

And, as you have already been warned by others, new babies are all-consuming and exhausting and you will still be recovering from the birth. Hence, you will find it very hard to do your job well that soon. You need the best support you can get.

Don't consider an au pair. You won't get good support and will be further exhausted trying to train them, deal with their own settling in process, their own problems etc (some will struggle to simply settle in the UK, away from family, boyfriend etc, never mind concentrate on the job and actually be interested in it). They are often quite immature and are usually not looking for a career in childcare. You are taking a risk relying on them to follow your instructions and take good care of your baby - don't do it!

[sophieb]

Good luck Abbeville77 - I've read the thread here and just wanted to tell you that it can be done. I run my own business and had to go back to work when my little boy was 6 weeks. I simply had no choice as my clients wouldn't have waited around for me for much longer. Admittedly I spent most of the time working from home (which I hope you can do too) but did have to spend some time away from the house and it broke my heart to leave my son with the nanny on those days. I had to keep reminding myself that I really had no choice, and it just made the time I did get with my son that extra bit special. Did it cause any long term damage to him or our relationship? Not a bit. He's the most loving, caring little man now and we are so close.

One thing I did find hard was the breastfeeding. Can I suggest that if you do breastfeed and you are a member of NCT you speak to your NCT person to find out if there are any hospital grade pumps available to hire. I think I managed to get through 4 Medela Swings before realising that was an option and they really so much better than anything you will buy on the market.

I'd also second the suggestions for a nanny rather than nursery… it just gives you that bit extra flexibility if you finish early one day, or have an unexpected quiet day to be able to spend more time with your baby (I don't know how a nursery would be if you just rocked up in the middle of the day asking to see your baby for a few hours?)

Good luck!

[Anna1103]

Hi

I've seen your ad and was wondering if you would consider a nanny to look after your little one when you return to work? I have over 8 years experience looking after babies until they become wobling little toddlers and beyond! I am currently on maternity leave myself, and would be looking to return back to working in January. Please let me know if you would be interested.

Many thanks
Anna

[LilsLondon]

I just wanted to second what Sophieb has said. I also went back to full-time office based work at 6 weeks and all was fine. I had a maternity nurse for two weeks when my son was born, then at 6 weeks we had a fulltime brilliant nanny who had experience of newborns. Day one was tough, thereafter all was fine. I totally agree that a nanny at home allows you flexibility and a lot more support than a nursery.
Good luck and please feel free to message me if you need any moral support. It is unusual to go back at 6 weeks but not impossible.
Best
L

[Reb]

Hi there,

As a self employed mum I was also unable to take a long maternity leave. It is neither ideal nor cruel. I took 4 months off with my daughter and 5 weeks with my son. I would suggest you find a good live-out nanny, not easy getting one with good baby experience but we did, she was and still is amazing. Babies that young will go to anybody so don't beat yourself up about leaving her/him with someone else. You'll be doing the nights and they'll know your mum, trust me. And going back to work will keep probably help keep you sane. I think 1 on 1 is preferable to a nursery at that age but see how you feel?

Am sure it will all work out, don't get too worried. Plans don't always go smoothly when babies are involved so be prepared to be flexible. Do what's best for you and your baby, listen to your instincts and do the best you can. It's a very emotional time and pretty tough but it does tend to work out.

Ladies, can we be a bit more supportive? I take my hat off to any woman who decides to be a stay at home mother and respect those of us who do the juggle too. They're both hard!

x