Partners staying on postnatal wards - C&W Post Reply

[Astolat]

I gave birth at C&W in 2012. Ante natal and labour was pretty good, although the postnatal ward was not good.

I've read that they now allow partners to stay overnight on the postnatal ward. I really don't like the idea of this - I'm quite a private person and found last time post c-section on the ward tough enough, the idea of a strange guy sleeping beside me while I'm trying to get privacy for breastfeeding etc doesn't appeal.

I'm due in November and seriously thinking of switching hospital.

Am I over reacting? Do many partners actually do this - camp out at the hospital etc?

I'll ask for a private room and would be willing to pay but that's a lottery so I want to know I'll be ok on the ward if it came to it.

Any experiences?

[this_is_cat]

It has been their policy for quite a while now, and St Thomas's have also followed suite, providing reclining chairs next to ward beds for partners to stay overnight. But there are curtains around the bed, so you won't have people watching you feeding etc.

It is something encouraged by the Royal College of Midwives and Department of Health so I imagine it is something that will be rolled out to most/all hospitals especially when it takes the strain off the nighttime staff if they can get dads to help out. So switching hospitals might not help either.

I'm pretty sure the private rooms are reserved for those giving birth in the private wing, and are around £1000 a night

http://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/news- ... -dads.aspx

[Astolat]

Thanks - good (or actually not good but important) to know Thomas' would be a no go.

Is St. George's the same?

I can totally see why it's a lovely idea if you give everyone their own room but I don't see how the policy doesn't run against the long standing single sex ward policy? Mixed wards went out years ago for good reasons and postnatal seems like the last place on earth to bring it back.

I'd love to have my partner stay, except he'll be at home with our daughter, but I don't want a thin curtain to be all that is between me and some random guy while I'm sleeping with my newborn.

[silver]

Totally agree, I would hate it if there were men sleeping on the ward too.... I'm sorry if this sounds rude but what if they snored or were shuffling about going to the loo all night! Single mummies or women whose partners couldn't stay might also feel a bit left out .... I think I would just feel weirded out!!! Still ... doesn't look like we can do much about it!

[this_is_cat]

If you scroll down to page 14 of this inspection report from 2013, it confirms St George's were about to take delivery of chairs to allow fathers to stay overnight.
http://www.cqc.org.uk/sites/default/fil ... 0-2013.pdf

Google says Kings have been allowing this for a while as well.

Looks like going privately might be your best option if you want a private room

[MumBumpMidwives]

I know that St Helier are bringing this in also but not in all areas, so there will be some 4 or 6 bedded bays where dads can stay and some where they can't for your exact reasons. lots of second time mums can't have their partners staying with them because of child care, contact the ward and find out how it works.
x

[soph]

I agree with you. I was at St George's in 2013 where men were able to stay over separated by curtains. The couple next to me had their first baby and she wA adamant she was going to feel her pain making her husband stay all night sleeping in a chair next to the bed. He snored all night keeping the rest of the ward awake! V frustrating when there are enough babies to keep you awake.. Everything else about St George's is ace though so don't be put off! Good luck

[papinian]

Check out the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson wing at University College Hospital. When we had ours a year ago there were no fathers sleeping on wards.

Depending on where you are living, UCH may work in terms of distance. It's 5 minutes walk from two tube stops which is convenient for ante-natal appointments.

We've had three at UCH and have several friends who have also had babies there. All of us have only good things to say about it.

[cynic]

"Some random guy" or perhaps a new parent like yourself who just happens to be male?

Plenty of noise on a post-natal ward, snoring would be least of your worries and at least something you could actually communicate about quite reaonably.


I am a random guy/male parent and I was sent home at 5am when my wife and new baby were moved to the ward and only allowed back at 9am. My wife had not slept for the best part of 60hours and having had an emergency c-section, she was not permitted to get up from her bed (until 3pm the next day). I was desperate to help look after our newborn but was sent home for a matter of hours. I daresay that had I be permitted to stay there may have actually been less noise because I could help my wife more than the over-stretched midwives were able to during that 4hour stretch

[cynic]

"Some random guy" or perhaps a new parent like yourself who just happens to be male?

Plenty of noise on a post-natal ward, snoring would be least of your worries and at least something you could actually communicate about quite reasonably.


I am a random guy/male parent and several years ago I was sent home at 5am when my wife and new baby were moved to the ward and only allowed back at 9am. My wife had not slept for the best part of 60hours and having had an emergency c-section, she was not permitted to get up from her bed (until 3pm the next day). I was desperate to help look after our chunky newborn but was sent home for a matter of hours. I daresay that had I be permitted to stay there may have actually been less noise because I could help my wife more than the over-stretched midwives were able to during that 4hour stretch

[JulieA]

I can see cynic's point.
I had a c-section to deliver my twins, and afterwards I was barely able to stand, no idea how I would have coped, changed nappies, etc without my husband staying overnight. Yes, it is weird having men around when you are half naked and trying to breastfeed, however at this stage I just went with it, I figured out those new dads had better things to do then looking at me. I was more bothered by daytime visitors who were curiously looking around and talking loudly.

[Hannette3]

There are private rooms on available at C&W, if not already in use or being used for emergency or overspill from the postnatal award you can have them for approximately £300 a night. When you are transferred to the postnatal ward you just ask the midwife about availability and/or to go on the waiting list (depending how many nights you may have to stay). Go for a tour of C&W and you can see the rooms.
Might be a good option for you but would be subject to availability.

[dangalf]

We ended up in a private room in C&W, not sure how or why. It was really nice. I could not stay though as had to get back to look after our eldest.

[firsttimerSW11]

I had a private room one night and was in the ward the second at C&W. In my experience most of the men don't stay all night, including my own. It's almost like most of them take advantage of that last hurrah (ie a decent nights sleep) before chaos ensues when you and the little one arrive home and they can be well rested for that first night home when you yourself are beyond knackered. And they know you have help in the hospital from the medical staff.
And of those that do stay on that uncomfortable chair, they tend to be respectful, curtains closed, whispering etc. A few 4am snores were muffled by screaming babies. Don't worry too much. You really won't be affected too much by daddies. And if you are, just have a quiet word with the duty midwife. Imho you'll be far too caught up with your newborn to worry about a new daddy behind a curtain that your probably won't even see. But definitely ask for a private room. Worth the £300 or so. I only moved to the ward because a lady with triplets asked if she could have it!

[fulhammom]

I am about to have my 3rd child, first c section, in C&W. Having had two babies, one in 2010 and one in 2012 when men were not allowed stay, I am dreading the fact that they are now. Comments like snoring will be the least of your problems are completely not true, the babies might cry a bit, but of course you are sympathetic because they are newborn babies, but men, on a women's ward disturbing the peace, that's just not on!! Because it's my third, my husband would not be able to stay, even if I wanted him to, the last thing I want to do is listen to someone else's husband making noise. And there really is something off-putting about strange men being in such close proximity on a hospital ward during the night while you may be breastfeeding.

I feel like this is a cop-out for midwives not to have to help mums through the night, which I suppose might be the only benefit for me that if I do need help, they will be available (seems as I'm having a section).

Why any mum would want her husband staying and being as tired as each other when they take baby home is beyond me though, it works really well for the men to get a good nights sleep and therefore able to be as helpful as possible when you get home.

Can you tell I'm a bit annoyed here?!