Partners staying on postnatal wards - C&W Post Reply

[JulieA]

There won't be random "strange men", only new dads, focusing on their new baby. Also, why assume these men will snore?
Why would they want to stay overnight instead of resting at home? Well maybe to experience the first day(s) of their newborn's life?
I might be completely wrong, but what I am getting from your post is that as your husband won't be able to be there, you don't see why any other new mum should be allowed to have a partner there.
I am sorry if I sound harsh, it is just that I was so so happy to have my husband with me after my c-section and I would like every woman to be able to experience the same if her personal circumstances allows it.

[Astolat]

Clearly some want this but others really don't. So there should be choice available.

If you are happy to be on a mixed gender ward and by doing that have your partner stay then that is a nice option.

HOWEVER if you do not want a mixed gender ward (and nowhere else in the NHS allows this by the way) you should have the choice to stay on a women only ward, and midwives and other nursing staff should be available to provide the support you need.

For me it is partly about men you don't know or trust, when you are in a vulnerable state but also just the practical implications. Post natal wards are notoriously disruptive and hard to rest in and it can make recovery even harder due to exhaustion. Adding up to another 6 people into a space designed to sleep 6 will exacerbate this.

I totally agree that this cannot be used as a sticking plaster to midwife resource. It's just not acceptable that the only place where the NHS is going backwards on mixed sex sleeping is maternity care. The patient needs to come first.

[JulieA]

Good points Astolat.

[mogzy]

It's a difficult one and I can understand both perspectives. All I can say is that I was very pleased to have my hubby by my side after I gave birth to my second son at 27 weeks late one evening. He was very ill as you can imagine being born at 27 weeks and we couldn't see him for several hours whilst the amazing doctors stabilised him. I was wheeled into a ward to recover with other ladies who all had their babies with them and for me that was emotionally heartbreaking. I don't know how I would have coped without him next to me. That being said, I'm not sure what Kingstons official policy is as there wasn't any other dads on the ward and he wasn't offered a recliner/bed. Just an uncomfortable plastic chair.

As others have already mentioned, I think very few dads actually stay overnight, but I think it's nice for the dads to have that choice if they want it/need it.

[Rodent]

I had my daughter at St Georges in 2013 and understood that any "difficult" births were prioritised into a private room and those of us with straightforward births were on the wards.

This, in my eyes, "should" help the situation that any hard births / earlies / those with a need for more help should be in private rooms and should they need more support, should be able to have partners stay with them.

I personally think the wards were noisy enough with 6 mothers and babies in them and adding another 6 dads into the mix would be a bad idea, but caveat that with hoping that those in need should be able to have the above solution.

[fulhammom]

You all have made really good points - I probably shouldn't have been so abrupt in my points! I am very close to going in, and the thought of men being on the ward while I'm trying to sleep is just really stressing me out, I feel like it should be all about the mums and babies after you give birth...

I think after reading the posts after mine, I agree with one who said there should be choice - if I don't want to be on a ward with men staying overnight, I shouldn't have to. I know it is likely to be fine, but I read one story about one dad keeping the whole ward awake with his snoring and all the other mums really annoyed and complained for a few hours until the midwives finally kicked him out... not ideal! There should be mixed wards and non-mixed.

Someone mentioned I might be annoyed because my husband cannot stay as I already have kids, I promise this is not the case, I could organise for him to stay by paying for our sitter to stay in our house, but really the reason is I just want him to have as good a nights sleep as possible so that when I come home he'll be full of energy! Most men don't do well with lack of sleep! He wasn't allowed when I had my first, and honestly I didn't mind him leaving, we were both wrecked after a long previous 24 hours and no point in him not getting a good nights sleep when I was in hospital.

Anyway, lets hope I'm worrying about something that will not be as bad as I think and I won't have a loud snoring dad on my ward!!!

[Piccalilli]

I had a very similar experience to Mogzy in that my daughter was born at 32 was via emergency c section. Unfortunately she was rushed into Nicu and I was unable to see her for the first 3 days of her life. I don't know how I would have coped if my husband could not have stayed with me.

My perspective is that if you're lucky enough to have a normal birth and have your child with you then perhaps you could tolerate a little snoring from another dad for just a night or two. He's likely to be so overwhelmed by the arrival of his child that you'll be the last person he's looking at.

[Goldhawk]

I think it's unacceptable
Not all partners/dads are nice and considerate
Postnatal should be women only and they should ensure they have enough staff to provide for patients needs

[Astolat]

I think when a baby is in icu or a birth was particularly traumatic a private room is the need. Then partners can stay over without disturbing other new mothers.

Beyond that the default should be that post natal care is for mothers and babies. Peace, quiet, dignity and privacy should be provided and for me that means non patients should not be allowed to stay overnight.

I can't see how this isn't the default.