** HELP - 2 Engagement rings ** Post Reply

[IrishEyes]

Hi All,

Firstly i'm reaching out here as a confused male (there are lots of us).
I am planning on asking my partner to marry me in December however we've agreed that we will buy the ring together (it will be in Antwerp and handmade). The thing is I want to suprise her. Should I buy a second engagement ring or a wedding band ? It will take approx 8 weeks for the ring we will buy together but in the meantime I want her to have a nice ring on her finger.

[wsb2297]

You could get her an eternity ring or similar perhaps?

[IrishEyes]

You could get her an eternity ring or similar perhaps?

Thanks good idea

[vendredimanche]

How lovely - you sound very romantic. Lucky lady!
If there is already an agreement between you two about choosing an engagement ring together, she may not want to receive another ring before her "real ring". Also this may take away from the real ring's budget! My suggestion would be for you to get her another (less expensive) piece of jewellery, such as a bracelet which you could have engraved with your names or with words that mean something to the two of you.
Congratulations!

[IrishEyes]

How lovely - you sound very romantic. Lucky lady!
If there is already an agreement between you two about choosing an engagement ring together, she may not want to receive another ring before her "real ring". Also this may take away from the real ring's budget! My suggestion would be for you to get her another (less expensive) piece of jewellery, such as a bracelet which you could have engraved with your names or with words that mean something to the two of you.
Congratulations!

Thanks ! That is a really good idea. i think she does want a second ring. The idea is that the real one will be quite significant and living in London she won't want to wear it everyday. I like the eternity ring option and the bracelet. Now lots of choices

[outnumbered]

What a lovely quandary to have!

When my husband asked me to marry him he'd bought me a lovely, simple silver ring with a tiny diamond inset as he knew (not that we'd talked about it) that I'd love to be involved in the choice of the 'real' ring and that we'd go and find that together.

I still wear it on the ring finger of my right hand, sometimes stacked with one or two costume rings, and I love it. It was a brilliant stand-in on my left ring finger until our actual engagement ring was chosen and ready. Have fun; it's such a great time in the whole getting married process!

[makeithappen]

Could Ruth at Heirloom London help you?

http://www.heirloomlondon.co.uk

[Flump2013]

I was lucky enough to have some family stones to set into a ring, so my husband proposed with a fabulous fake ring from heavenly necklaces http://www.heavenlynecklaces.com/c/4509968/1/rings.html

They are really good fakes (and very reasonable) and everyone presumed it was real. It is also really handy to have as I still wear my fake when we go on holiday (particularly when skiing as your hands get cold and you keep taking your gloves on and off). I also wore my fake on honeymoon (with my wedding band) so didn't have to worry about it from a security point of view- or coming off in the sea.

When it came to the wedding day, my husband also gave me some earrings from HN to match my real ring (aquamarine and diamond) and a tennis bracelet. You can pop in and see them (they work from home in Fulham) or just order online. They sometimes have one off bits or can have things made for you if you have time.

It is a really good option that doesn't break the bank, but looks totally legitimate.

Either way, enjoy it and good luck.

[vendredimanche]

Me again - sorry, I do like a bit of bling... and love the idea of 2 rings.

It's obviously a very personal and subjective thing... but personally I would not want to receive a fake, or at least not a fake which is trying to be a diamond engagement ring (so I would be ok with some colourful costume jewellery or Swarowski style ring), and it would need to look pretty different from your classic diamond engagement, which I assume is what you are getting Antwerp.

I would have thought she'll want to show off her "waiting ring" off to family and friends - but at the same time, the real, expensive (by the sound of it!) and very special ring is coming later.

I don't know your budget, but what about, for example, something from Cartier? They do a beautiful Trinity ring in 3 gold (pink for love, yellow for fidelity and white for friendship) which starts around £600 (and is more around £1,500 for a large ring. Their Love ring is also lovely - more modern - but looks different from an engagement ring.

Or maybe a ring with her birthstone so there is a meaning (assuming she's not born in April which is diamond!).

Or would she like an antiques ring: maybe a pearl, caemo, sapphire? There is so much to choose from! Obviously it will depend on her style.

Actually I expect I have confused you even more now, so will shut up.

[kjn]

My husband bought a silver band with a pretty design on in Victoria station (!) and proposed with that. He knew I would want to design my own ring and it is nice to have something to propose with. I think you're better proposing without a ring than using earrings etc and she doesn't need it for the proposal. We later chose the diamond and I designed the ring with the jeweller, it was brilliant. I often go places I don't want to wear my engagement ring and I just wear my wedding band (it's not always a security issue, sometimes it's not appropriate to have a huge diamond on your finger, so the fake one would still not work). My only thing I would change is to have some little diamonds in my wedding band for when I wear it on its own. I didn't get it done as I thought it would look too bling but didn't think about wearing it on it's own.
I do agree with the other poster that setting the bar that you get two engagement rings at the start may lead to a very high expectation through your life together. It also reduces gifts for when and if you have children - I had diamond earrings for my first, surrounds for them for my second and an eternity ring for my third (I'd really like a bracelett but my pelvic floors just wouldn't cope).
I hope it all goes well, congratulations in advance and I'm sure she'll love whatever you go with.