Help my 7 year old can't get to sleep at night Post Reply

[luckymummy]

Hi, I don't know if any of you have any experience and can help point me in the right direction. My 7 year old can't seem to switch off at night, he is beyond exhausted but gets into bed and lies in bed tossing and turning till around 9.30 or 10pm most nights. This is not enough sleep as he is up at 7am for school. He is a fairly anxious child but I don't think it is anxiety keeping him up, it is just the inability to switch off. We can't go on like this as it has been at least 2 years of this and funny enough he was the best sleeper as a baby, 7pm to 7am till he started school. Is there anyone out there who has had something like this and found a solution? I have heard about cranial osteopathy, does this work? We need to break the cycle. Many thanks.

[AbbevilleMummy]

I don't know if this will help, is relevant to children, or is even true for that matter, but I read somewhere that even if you are not actually asleep, but are in bed and peaceful, that that is still having a restorative effect on the body and mind. It is something I try to remember when I'm having trouble sleeping. It then doesn't stress me out too much and helps me relax into sleep as opposed to laying there worrying that I'm not getting enough sleep.

You don't say what time you put your child to bed, but if anything I would push his bedtime a little later whilst being conscious to not do anything that was too entertaining. It took me a while to realise that my daughter wasn't a toddler anymore and shouldn't necessarily be going to bed at 7pm. We moved her bedtime to 8pm relatively recently and by that time she has had time to calm down from Daddy coming home, has had a catch up with him, read a book or 2 and settles down to sleep quite easily now. It was very difficult when we were still aiming for 7pm!

And on a final note, most of the European and Latin American families I know in London send their kids to bed much much later and all are bright, happy, well adjusted children so it might not have that much of a negative effect!

[supergirl]

I have also pushed the bedtime to closer to 8pm for my oldest, she is 7. Well i am still aiming for before 8 so i can actually switch off the lights no later than 8. The bedtime process starts around 6.30 ish (i have 2 children). She is tired but i have the opposite problem she gets up at 6.10am no matter what as she needs the loo but then she has never been able to go back to bed. I know it comes from when she was a baby and learning to sleep.

I was panicking because she has a lot of after school clubs etc. She thrives on being active and busy and i feel she is not getting enough sleep but i realised that the stress of trying to aim for 7 was more exhausting for her than to actually be quiet and relax in her room reading or drawing, getting herself ready.

So what i am trying to say is that i was projecting my stress into her. So o wonder if your child could feel your worries/frustrations and so the situation becomes an issue?

[luckymummy]

Thank you for all your comments. I start the bedtime routine around 6.30 and there is never any screen time in the evening so there is no stimulation there. I put him to bed after a few stories at around 8pm but that still doesn't seem to work. I may go the cranial osteo route and see if that relaxes him. If anyone has done this please let me know if that has worked. Someone mentioned about different cultures i.e. Spanish and many Eastern European cultures, where the children don't go to bed till later and yes I think that we do have a paranoia about kids going to bed early here but I do feel that he is tired in the day and that can't be right. He thinks and thinks at night and somehow can't switch off.

[muminsw12]

Have you tried audio books? My daughter is younger but it worked really well to persuade her to stay in bed, lie quietly and "wait for sleep to come"!

[acidming]

We went the cranio osteo route when my son was three. He started waking up several times during the night and had trouble falling back asleep.

I can't explain what they actually did or how it works. It seemed like they just prodded him! We visited the consultant three times over two months and then he really started to sleep better. Was it because of they did? I can't say for sure. It's worth going for a consultation anyway. We visited the Osteopathic Centre for Children in Wandsworth. They were lovely.

Good luck!

[headshrinker]

Hi there
I have this periodically with both my kids (4 & 8). We do a relaxation exercise with them. Get them to lie down, focus on their breathing then relax each part of their body from the feet upwards, tensing and relaxing each part as you go. Talk in a soft voice as you do this. There are loads of examples of this online if you look (you can find scripts if you need one).
This calms them down, gets them out of their busy little heads and focused on their body instead. Works every time and only takes a few minutes. They get better at doing it so it becomes more effective over time.
Good luck.