Should I leave my baby boy while, I'm looking for a new role? Post Reply

[Anna1103]

Nanny
Hi everyone. I'm a nanny, currently ending maternity leave after having my own baby boy almost nine months ago. I'm not returning to my previous job as the child have started nursery so am looking for a new role. The more I think about it the more I do not want to be away from my child while I look after somebody elses,but I'm really struggling to find new family who will accept me and my baby.I think it would be different if I worked in a shop but the fact I will still be looking after children, cant get my head around the idea that someone else will be having mine while I look after others and I can't afford it. But, I do need a job and money. I just don't know what to do Any opinions will be gratefully listened to.

[AbbevilleMummy]

Hi there,

It's a really tough one and I completely understand your point, but thought it might be useful to share my thoughts from an employers perspective.

When I have previously considered hiring a nanny with her own child the following has put me off:

- The cost is not as reduced as I think it should be. It is effectively a nanny share situation, however it ends up being significantly more expensive than you average nanny share as usually the nanny is unwilling to work for half her salary and you have no one to share the tax and NI costs with.

- there is the natural concern that the nanny's child will come first. I imagine there will always be some possible unconscious bias there towards the nanny's own child.

- what if the nanny's child is sick, going through a difficult patch, weaning, teething, potty training, etc etc. those are perfectly normal every day things that will have an impact on the home.

I guess it would be different if the nanny was my family's nanny before she had her baby and everyone knew each other well and were close, but as a new hire, the above concerns have always stopped me.

My suggestions on how to go back to work would be to perhaps offer more of a childminder role? Or really consider reducing your rates to take into account that your are saving a lot on childcare costs.

[shayden]

I am in the same boat... my son is 2 and I'm now looking for a new role. I don't mind him going into childcare however the hours a nanny works doesn't coincide with the hours a childminder or nursery are open. Most of the positions I have seen (I'm looking for after school care mostly) are until 6.30 possibly 7.... whereas most nurseries are open till 6... 630 at a push so I would never make it on time to collect him. It's a catch 22. I also think it's unreasonable to expect a nanny to work for half their pay..... that would quite easily be well below the legal minimum wage and wouldn't actually be worth them working at all.
I believe give and take is important when finding a family and a nanny.... the same way a family may expect you to be able to look after their child if they were ill and didn't go to school I think it's important that if the nanny is in the same boat they have the flexibility to bring their child also. My previous family are amazing and had no issues with me bringing my son however due to the timing (most days finishing at 7) and starting at 7.45 it became really difficult to juggle my sons nursery place (I'd bring him to nursery at 9.15 after I did the school run and collect him at 6 and bring him to work).

[workingmum62]

My first nanny brought her child to work with her and it worked excellently. HOWEVER the way she approached it, I believe, is how all nannies who want to continue working once they have children and have the privilege of being with their children every day should. She saw it as a nanny share where she was one half of the share as well as the nanny. So yes, I only paid her half of what she would have earned if she was looking after another family. But she had no childcare costs and I think this is the point which should be focused on in this discussion. The rest of us have to take an in affect pay cut when we have children so why should nannies be any different?

When we had our second child she looked after all three and my proportion increased to 2/3 of the rate. Unfortunately when she got pregnant again we decided four would be to many so she left us and is now a good friend.

Hope this helps!

[Lights]

DON'T GIVE UP! I have 2 friends who were worried about finding a job with their own baby and they both now have great nanny jobs. One has a baby the same age as hers 5 days a week, the other has two children plus her own 3 days a week.
One nanny I know takes her daughter to work with her half of the week and still gets paid a full salary. Some employers see it as advantage. You just got to look for the right ones. Horses for courses
You should however expect to be paid a little less than if you weren't to take your own child, but it is not a share, (unless you want it to be? ) If it's a share then the nanny has the right to say what she will and won't do, what activities she will be happy to do and pay for, she would spend half the month at her own house doing washing and cooking and not at the families house. That is how a share would work!

[MGMidget]

I don't really agree with the last poster's view of what a nanny share is. A nanny share is often based at one parents house, not necessarily alternating between houses and both parents have to agree some compromises for it to work rather than each parent deciding what they will and won't do. That kind of inflexibility would make a nanny share virtually impossible. I think the advice given by parents to view it as akin to a nanny share is a good way to approach it and will help you see the situation from an employers perspective and hence make you more employable. Some nannies may be lucky and obtain a post at full pay where they can take their baby along but as you have already seen it isn't easy to find this. Also, where a nanny was already working for a family before she had her baby they may be much more amenable to allowing her to return on full pay after having a baby because they know her and have an established relationship with her. When you are starting afresh and competing against other candidates you do need to bear in mind the competition and pitch your offer appropriately if you want to find a position reasonably quickly.

Good luck, I am sure you will work out a solution that works because you are open to feedback.

[fiona f]

Hi,
I am a mother and experienced nanny. I have worked as a nanny in a number of 'shares' with my children. It has worked wonderfully for both parties.
There are many positives to a family having a nanny with their own child.
The most important is the social experience the children get having a buddy to play with, learn to share with etc. I'm fortunate my children are still really good, even best friends with the children I looked after.
I always took the approach that it would be a share and I think my rates were fair.
Being a parent gave me a new set of skills, empathy and understanding with families I may not have had when I was a nanny (before my own children came along).
Good luck with the search, I wouldn't bother with agencies, just network and talk to mums and advertise on these type of sites. I'm sure there is a family for you and your little boy.

[Anna1103]

Hi everyone!
I have been away for few days, but didn't expect Annabelle to pin my post- thanks for that. I've read all responses to my post, and I would like to thank you all too! I was thinking about all the options, while my ML ended. I want to bring my son with me to work because whole my pregnancy I've spend on strict bed rest. He's very special little man for me, but I want to work and in the same time find very a special friend for him. Hopefully we will find the right match for us very soon-:)