Stasi service at local restaurant Post Reply

[Hollamumma]

You guys have given me a lot to work with. This is more material than I bargained for, but it is a goldmine and the seam is rich. I know this sounds weird, but, thank you. It's going to go in the book, probably the opening chapter now. Thank you. FWIW, yes, I was the one who posted about an autistic boy who shoved my son on the playground a couple of years ago. My son was much smaller, he was hurt and shocked and he cried. The father standing by did nothing. I didn't realise the child was "disabled," as you put it. I was angry at the dad for doing nothing. When confronted, he shrugged, and said, simply, "he's autistic." As if a) it should have been obvious; and b) it being obvious, that should be an excuse... For doing nothing, as a parent. I wasn't angry at the boy, I was angry at his dad. For not simply saying, "I'm sorry. Is he ok?" Parent to parent. I'm still a bit shocked by that, frankly. I don't think parents of kids at any place on the autism spectrum (which may include us all, if last week's Economist cover is on point) should teach them it's ok to shove and hit people. Seems pretty obvious. I'm glad Tamra got some business out of this. I edited our original posts because they were 40,000 pages long. That is why I lost patience: fix the problem, don't rehash it a million ways. That doesn't solve it. I tried to log in under my old tag a while back and the account was too old so I had to pick a new username. You guys either don't read, or don't understand what you read. Or don't try to. You've got an agenda, with respect to Americans, etc., that you desperately need to replay. I know these words are wasted but FWIW it never occurred to me -- until I read your comically vitriolic posts -- that this had anything to do with my nationality. I think you'll find most Americans think that way. Good to know that I'm not imagining it, though -- you really hate our guts. Funny, because I did think I was imagining it for a long time. The question is, why? ? ? ? ...... ? That's the bit I'm still wrestling with. We have to put up with Donald Trump, not you. You could have banned him from the U.K. I'm sorry you decided not to. We have to put up with 300 million handguns in circulation. Not you. We don't have anything like free healthcare, or universities that don't cost an arm and a leg. We don't have many good state schools. We get two weeks of holiday a year, you get five or six. You have all kinds of things that most Americans would be thrilled to get, and likely never will. And yet -- most of us try to be upbeat and positive about things, and when we confront rude service in restaurants, parents who let their kids hit people smaller than them, and public bullying, we find it shocking because -- it is. It's ugly. And mean. Why do you need to be that way? What do you get out of it? It doesn't really bother me. I won't be going to Tamra anymore, but I knew that already. Nothing will change about my life. But I can see all of you a lot more clearly. I don't see anything different about me.

[BFW]

[Hedger]

"When confronted, he shrugged, and said, simply, "he's autistic." As if a) it should have been obvious; and b) it being obvious, that should be an excuse..."

The thing is, it sort of... it sort of IS an excuse - the boy was autistic (as is my son) and doesn't necessarily understand social niceties. If someone were to say to me "Can't you control your child?", my response would have to be, "No, I can't" . I think one needs to show a little compassion in those sorts of circumstances - it honestly is incredibly difficult being the parent of an autistic child.

Anyway, that aside, as to the original post, I just wonder (and I say this with a lot of love ), might it be worth going and having a chat with someone? Just seems like your reaction may have been a little over the top and sometimes it can help to talk to someone and get a really objective view of things.

God this post sounds massively passive aggressive but it genuinely isn't meant to be !

[juliantenniscoach]

I'm not sure I understand you Hollamomma when you write

"We have to put up with Donald Trump, not you. You could have banned him from the U.K. I'm sorry you decided not to. We have to put up with 300 million handguns in circulation. Not you. We don't have anything like free healthcare, or universities that don't cost an arm and a leg. We don't have many good state schools. We get two weeks of holiday a year, you get five or six. You have all kinds of things that most Americans would be thrilled to get, and likely never will."

All of those things 'we' (as in however lives here) have nothing to do with. It's an entirely American situation, created by Americans and presumably supported by Americans, otherwise there would be a change. The 'Trump issue' is the perfect example. He's applied to be part of your (the US's) democratic election process which he's perfectly entitled to do. What both interests and concerns me is why he is so popular and more to the point, why have so many thousands voted for him?

All of this has nothing to do with the lack of apples and service described in the OP, but I do wonder if the thread has become a sort of catharsis for you now?

[Hedger]

PS - I genuinely like most Americans I have met! I don't know anyone who has anything against Americans - it honestly isn't a "thing" as far as I know!

[2009Kat]

I was really hoping you weren't the park incident lady. Wow. And agree with Hedger.

[Stripyshirt]

Some keywords which can be used to search for this thread in future:

Porridge
Stasi
Autism
Racism
Apples
NHS

[imacowboy]

Oh Holla, never has anyone so spectacularly - and, I suspect, deliberately - missed the point of a thread (I say thread rather than post, because this thread long ago stopped being about your original grievance). With one or two possible exceptions, other posters' responses to you have nothing to do with you being American and everything to do with your individual attitude. You could be a Brit from Sheffield or Abderdeen or St Ives - hell, you could could be Lebanese, or Tongan. By ascribing the criticism you've received on this thread to anti-US feeling, you've managed to completely circumvent the real issue, which is that you have persistently manipulated or misrepresented the original scenario, then gone on to abuse anyone and everyone who has pointed this out. In doing so, you've created a 'me versus the British' storyline which contains far more racism than that which you claim is directed at you. I have a couple of American friends. They're delightful. I love them. And they are nothing like you (or what I can glean from your multiple posts, at least - I'm not daft enough to imagine that this one snapshot says everything about you).

In any case, were Rob MacFarlane not also on this thread, I'd be tempted to think you'd invented the original scenario in order to trigger responses to create material for your 'book'. Your last comment that 'this is more material than I bargained for' even seems to support this. But it did happen, of course, and the irony of this whole lengthy (borderline farcical) discussion is that your original grievance seemed relatively justified. There's always a wider context, though - as you have amply, exhaustively proved.

[kcai]

Ah yes, Cals_mum_silly, the same person who railed about how autistic kids ought to have "different parks." IIRC, the dad posted the other side of that story on your thread, which was rather edifying. Now it's "Stasi service." Good luck getting an agent to touch your book proposal with a barge pole.

FWIW I'm American too and I see none of this "agenda" you refer to. There's folks from lots of different places in SW London and I've never felt targeted or out of place. I do agree with those who've suggested maybe you ought to talk to a therapist, because wow.

[pops1]

Yikes…does anyone else feel jolly uncomfortable about this verbal mud slinging? Whilst methinks the lady doth protest too much, me also thinks everyone else hath waded in with industrial boots.... I sort of didn't want to read it…but I couldn't help myself…the way I do when I come across Jeremy Kyle by mistake...

[Mumbojumbo]

Really.........I got bored on page two, this amount of energy could be so much better spent

[koko]

Why do we always put people to the same box. 'If you are Polish you're must be rude'. Everyone is different, we are individuals. Regarding to bad service, it happened all the time, even if a waiter is English.