Just a bit grumpy with it all... Post Reply

[abitlow]

Hello
I wanted to write because I wasn't sure whether what I was feeling was normal, whether I am getting things out of perspective or if I just need to get out more!

I have a six month old daughter and she is wonderful. We didn't have a difficult birth and so I can't complain in that respect but she has actually been sleeping less now than when she was just born and to be honest I am finding it quite tough. Everywhere I look I see mums who are all organised with their neat prams and smart feeding bags and little neat feeding muslins and whenever we go out we seem to explode in a mass of tears, spilt milk and nappy bags. Post natal depression seems such a "big deal" but I honestly wonder if I might have it because somedays I just don't feel like getting up and I really just can't be bothered. Don't get me wrong, its not extreme or anything, I just find I'm teary and generally pi**ed off with everyone.

Anyway I just wanted to ask if anyone else with new babys sometimes felt the same way!

[lucynuk1]

you are really not alone, most of those organised looking mums out there have good days and bad days, and some have terrible days. If you feel a bit low, go see the doc, it can't hurt and if it is PND there is help out there for you, but mostly I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

[moops]

Oh I definitely felt that way, sometimes I still do! I was completely overwhelmed when my Son was born, he was a terrible sleeper and very strong willed and unpredictable. I used to see the same Mums you are talking about looking totally together and relaxed and there I was always in a flap. I would meet up with my NCT class and their babies would sleep or sit quietly and I'd be the one furiously jigging my Son around trying to quiet him and eventually I would just leave because I was so flustered. I also used to dread my Husband going to work in the morning I would think " How am I going to get through the day?" I know people will tell you this, but it does get better. At six months babies still don't do a lot but they are on their way to getting a bit more of a personality and I found that when Luca started interacting more I bonded with him a bit more and I started to feel better. Hang in there, being a stay at home mum is a hard job but things will improve. Please contact me if you ever need to chat! x

[catief]

We all get like that. Some days I can be an organised mum and other days I'm the one on the phone to my husband in tears begging him to come home early cos I can't cope. It is a tough old gig being a stay at home mum and it feels like the end of the world when you're tired and dealing with a never ending list of demands. See your doctor anyway, but be reassured that you are definitely not alone in feeling like this. It's true that after 6 months things do get so much better. Once they are sitting up and starting to interact and can be a bit more flexible then it becomes more fun - honest. My son is 14 months old and I still have days when I could just happily give him away (let's hope he never reads this!!) but they get fewer and fewer. Hang in there and draft in some help if you can - a morning left with a nanny/friend/granny will do you both a world of good.

[jessl01]

Hi there,

Just thought I would say that what you are experiencing sounds totally normal but I agree with the others, pop to the doctor if you have any doubts. My son was 6 months when I realised that something wasn't quite right, I felt teary every day and found motivating myself to get out and be sociable almost impossible. I was becoming more and more isolated. Eventually my husband asked me to go to the doctor because my behaviour was beginning to make him feel worried and sure enough when i got to the doctor, they made me take a test and told me I had PND. I took the counselling option because taking anti depressants meant that I would have to stop breast feeding. In all honesty, that visit to the doctors was the best thing I ever did! Once I had some help, things began to drop into place, I discovered alot about what was going on for me and some techniques for dealing with it! And I stopped feeling awful.

Don't get me wrong, I still have 'is this it', 'i don't want to be a parent anymore' days but that is normal and i feel much better about sending him off to someone else for a bit if I can't handle it all, as someone else has suggested.

PND sounds like a terrible thing, but actually, dealing with it, if that is what it is, can be a massive relief.

[kathy yvanovich]

yes, yes, yes.
My heart goes out to you and all mums feeling this way - I know, and it can be quite overwhelming!
Well, as I've had periods of my life like that and have found many ways to counteract the grumpiness/sadness/wondering how "they" manage "better", and so on...
Apart from contacting me as a client! (i'm a personal trainer, life coach, nlp practitioner and healer)
http://www.kathyyvanovich.co.uk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
i tried these, which worked for me, sometimes:

allowing myself to indulge in crying,totally
setting a time limit for above indulgence
pretending that i could see myself from a distance, and having more compassion for myself as a result of it (as well as having a laugh)
remembering that it's a phase - i'll get thru it as i've gotten thru other challenges, and it'll be great on the other side
Reiki healing
appreciating nature
appreciating how wonderful my body is coping with things
feeling grateful for . . . (fill in your own)
joining a mother and baby class - for absolutely anything!
doing something for myself by myself (eg work, hobby, pamper, therapist, reading)
ignoring the other mum's fantastic-ness
remembering that practice makes perfect, and remembering that perfect is different for everyone
remembering to look forward to ...(fill in) and do something towards it
helping someone, for no other reason than a diversion
laughing at myself
physical exercise
doing something engrossing and creative eg.mosaic tiling,knitting,sewing,dancing,playing music,painting

GOOD LUCK discovering your own
wishing you a lovely day too!