Anyone else got a teenage daughter with high functioning autism? Post Reply

[jomi273]

I am feeling very alone as a very single mum - my lovely talented 13yr old daughter was diagnosed with High Functioning ASD just over a year ago - she is at a small private school that doesn't really get it but is the best place for her, she is happy there but there are many worries in relation to the school and their support of her. I have after a year got all the hundreds of reports I need to get an EHCP which may provide us with some support but the biggest issue for me is day to day - I am really struggling. My daughter appears outside of home to be normal to anyone who doesn't know about the ASD - it is completely invisible as her management strategies around her sensory and social interactions are so sophisticated that she renders most issues almost invisible to others. The effort to maintain this leaves her so exhausted that by the time she gets home from school it is minefield....and I am navigating the mines and standing on most of them.
I really need to talk to someone, I am tired, menopausal and work exceptionally hard (it's my own business and in the middle of an investment round so no let up there but huge financial pressure personally as our runway runs low)
Is there anyone who can help me - or can just go for a coffee, or can sit there while I sob and give me a coffee and a hug afterwards.....
I have no family in or near London, my friendship groups seems to have disappeared and I am feeling very isolated. Thank goodness I have a lovely dog, he is my saviour right now!

[Annabel (admin)]

So sorry to hear you're in a tough place right now.

I can't help in terms of experience of what you're going through but I'll be highlighting your post in our Monday morning email and hopefully we can connect you with some locals who have direct experience of children with High Functioning ASD.

Good luck, I'll keep you posted and to replies and please please let us know how you're getting on.

[2009Kat]

Hi, so sorry to hear what a tough time you've been having. There is a Facebook group "ASD child in SW London" where there are many parents with ASD children of different ages. I've found it helpful. Xx

[anootka]

Hello,
Do join our South West London community of parents who will be happy to lend you support. We are having a night out as well early June and hopefully there will be other parents there with children of similar age.
Anna
ASD Child in SW London (Facebook Page)

[Bbkl]

I could have written your post, our situations are so similar. I'm going to try to pm you my contact details.

[loigal]

Hello sorry to hear you're feeling overwhelmed. I've no experience of ASD but do recognise those feelings and having to cope alone as a single parent. There is single parent support in various forms for example Gingerbread, single mums in SE London Facebook group (I'm sure must be a SW one) which are good places to share, connect, support. I've been surprised on how many of us there are and what an amazing job we're all doing! Sending you a virtual hug and wishing you all the best.

[Reflexologymum]

Hi
I have sent you a pm,I would be happy to meet up.

[RosieFC]

Hey, this sounds super tough. I'm afraid I have no experience with any of this but can be a shoulder to cry on and coffee companion if you need to let it all out sometime! Where are you based? I am in Balham, on maternity leave at the moment.
Rosie XX

[pmm]

My 14 year old son has autism, so I understand where you're coming from. Your daughter's school needs to enlist the help of Robyn Steward. She has high functioning autism and lectures all around the world. She has broadcast for the BBC and her book on being young, female, autistic and safe was published a year or two ago. She can train the teachers and the pupils and be a mentor to your daughter. She is an extraordinary lady. I can pass you her contact details.

[jomi273]

Dear all,
Thank you so much...I'm sat at my desk with tears in my eyes. I will respond to all the suggestions and to any PM's etc later this evening,
Many thanks
Jo

[julesie]

Hi Do look at The Girl with the Curly Hair Project. I think it would be great for you and for your daughter. Alis has written some fantastic books which explain ASD, Aspergers, Meltdowns, Shutdowns etc in a very clear, simple, understandable way for children and their parents, carers, schools etc I really recommend you order one from Amazon to give you a taster. And they run great workshops too for both children/young adults and parents. I have a son on the spectrum and I bought some of the books (just as relevant for boys) and we are attending the London courses soon. I met them at the Tooting Autism Fair recently - on the stand were 2 Mums, one who had been diagnosed with Aspergers in her 40s, both of whom had daughters (about 13) who had been diagnosed recently. You are definitely not alone. It is an uphill struggle but you will get there. There are Mums just like you out there, you just have to meet a few. Well done for writing this! ps someone else mentioned Robyn Steward, there's a great video of one of her presentations on her website.

[greybird]

I have pm'd you x

[jomi273]

Hi, so sorry to hear what a tough time you've been having. There is a Facebook group "ASD child in SW London" where there are many parents with ASD children of different ages. I've found it helpful. Xx

Thank you so much I will check this out

[jomi273]

Hey, this sounds super tough. I'm afraid I have no experience with any of this but can be a shoulder to cry on and coffee companion if you need to let it all out sometime! Where are you based? I am in Balham, on maternity leave at the moment.
Rosie XX

Thank you Rosie that sounds great, I am just off Lavender Hill so not far from you and my business is based in Claoham Old Town. I will try and pm you my contact details when I work out how to do that!
Jo

[jomi273]

Hello,
Do join our South West London community of parents who will be happy to lend you support. We are having a night out as well early June and hopefully there will be other parents there with children of similar age.
Anna
ASD Child in SW London (Facebook Page)

Thank you Anna this sounds great