Dying cancer patient refused her morphine, laughed at and then treated appallingly Post Reply

[South London Joiner]

Just "bumping" this post.

[sandy.mcnamara]

Re dying cancer patient.
I would defiantly go to the media.All involved in the supposed care of your wife should be prosecuted for serious neglect and should be struck off.This story really upset me to think how your wife had been treated in her last days.As for the hospital not knowing who were responsible is utter rubbish , they have a work rota and know who is on what shift and what patients they should be caring for,this is very serious.I hope you get some answers and you can be left to grieve for your dear wife knowing you have done everything in your power.

[sandy.mcnamara]

Re dying cancer patient.
I would defiantly go to the media.All involved in the supposed care of your wife should be prosecuted for serious neglect and should be struck off.This story really upset me to think how your wife had been treated in her last days.As for the hospital not knowing who were responsible is utter rubbish , they have a work rota and know who is on what shift and what patients they should be caring for,this is very serious.I hope you get some answers and you can be left to grieve for your dear wife knowing you have done everything in your power.

[South London Joiner]

Just "bumping" this post.

[nadiaraafat]

My heart really reaches out to you. I experienced a similar issue when my mother was in a coma and we also refused morphine. We actually caught them trying to administer it to her anyway. We were deeply upset by this and other aspects of her care and instigated a complaint and investigation which took many months and was very frustrating. I am really glad we pursued this path as we felt it was essential to not let such appalling behaviour pass unacknowledged. The treatment at the end of Life can be very neglectful - as you have experienced - and the only way things will change is if we make such things public - as you have.
Love, strength and peace to you.

Nadia

[sammy1]

Hi first of all I am so sorry for your loss and the way your wife was treated. I have just got back from my holiday so hence the late response.
I definitely think you should go to the media and papers etc They cant get away with this.
I hope things work out for you . love and peace.

Sam

[this_is_cat]

I've only just found your post, so sorry if this is all a bit late.

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss, and what your wife went through towards the end of her life. I have tears in my eyes reading your post, and your love for her is so evident and strong. She was very lucky to have you looking after her and fighting her corner.

I'm glad you are still in contact with the hospital, but can't imagine your frustrations at this still not being resolved after all this time. I hope they get you the answers you need soon and without too much more fighting from you.

Regarding going to the media, I am coming at this as a former journalist, and current senior PR consultant. While you might think it would be in my interests to encourage you to go to the media, I actually think it is a really bad idea.

While there are many good journalists, there are also many bad ones and it is highly likely your story will get misrepresented either deliberately to make it a better story, or because they need to edit it down for space. It might be even more upsetting to see the story twisted or watered down in print, and not covering the bits you think are important.

But more importantly, there are some vile people out there - internet 'trolls' - who could say such mean things as to upset you further. I was reading a story today of a tragic case of someone being murdered in cold blood where the comments said the victim 'looked like the sort of person who deserved it', 'brought it on themselves' and other vile things. I can't even imagine how it must be for the family to know that story and those comments will be out there online forever, and tarnish the memory of their loved one.

I totally understand how you need to get closure and answers to move on and work through your grief - who wouldn't.
But I fear that going to the media could actually make it worse, and hurt your family even more.

Is there a campaign run by a big charity that you could get involved in? Perhaps they can use your wife's treatment to highlight problems and campaign for better practice in future? It might be a more positive and lower risk way to do it.

Ultimately, you need to do what you feel is best, but if you do want to go to the media, please feel free to message me and I can give you a few pointers and things to avoid, to hopefully mean they treat you well. Unfortunately, there will always be a risk that the story will reflect negatively on you and your wife, and you should take that into consideration

Wishing you all the best

[South London Joiner]

Once again I would like to thank everyone on here for all your kind words.

Following the resent death of my Dad I have not been able to deal with this in the last eight weeks.

I am now happy to name the hospital involved: it is St Georges Hospital Tooting.

So far despite my efforts the Chief Nurse ( & one time acting deputy chief executive)
The Head of nursing, the Deputy Chief of nursing & the patients experience officer
Have disciplined nobody.

I therefore will be taking this up with the media & will be in touch with those
Who have offered help shortly.

Kind regards Martin

[Balance]

I have been on the merry go round you have but when my 6 year old daughter was sexually assaulted at her school. Virtually everyone I dealt with - over 17 different gov organisations - covered it up or hid behind sending me to another department. As the daughter of two Fleet St editors, I would suggest you go to either Daily Express or Daily Mail as they specialise in this type of story. Your wife's treatment may well be used as what's called a case study within a feature if they are prepared to write about this. You could also contact an organisation/charity that specialises in the rights of elderly people such as Age Concern and speak to their press officer to see if they can help point you in the direction of a friendly journalist. I often thought about how far to take my own case with my daughter and had to hold back at times for her sake or for mine as it requires a great deal of stamina. Only you can tell how much it helps you grieve to know you are fighting for your wife's experience to do some good. Go carefully and remember to look after yourself as well as you did your wife.

[South London Joiner]

One again just to thank everyone for their support. This complaint is still ongoing, but I have since last writing on this post lost both my Dad and then my brother , so I have not had all the time needed to keep fighting this. I have not and will not give up. There is now a link on NHS complaints Face book page to this article.