Smoking neighbour Post Reply

[trilangue]

Hello,

I wonder if anyone can give me some advice regarding a smoking neigbour.

My neighbour is a smoker and when he wants to smoke, he comes out on his doorstep, at all hours of the night. Of course, what he does is his own business, but the problem is my bedroom is almost directly above his front door...our front doors are side by side and the bedroom is just above the front door. As a result, when he smokes, the smoke filters into our bedroom and even through the front door, this in spite of our windows and doors being solid and properly closed. This has been going on for years and it has become a nuisance, especially as I don't smoke and more importantly because of all we know about secondhand smoke.

I know he may be within his parameters but is there anything I may be able to do about the situation?

[this_is_cat]

Have you spoken to him and asked him if he can smoke elsewhere?

Other than appealing to his better nature, there is nothing you can do legally. As you said, he is entitled to do whatever he wishes on his own doorstep!

[trilangue]

No I haven't. People are unpredicatable so would prefer to avoid any confrontation.

[this_is_cat]

A polite chat is probably the least confrontational thing you can do in this situation!

[brihoney]

I have a very similar situation, so I know you dilemma, but I don't want to complain to my neighbour, I know they have a lot of stress and I don't want them thinking we are annoyed with them.

I try to persuade myself that by the time the smoke has floated about 8 foot through the air, although it still smells quite strong, hopefully lots of the toxins have dissipated. No idea of this is correct, but the smell doesn't linger so I think it is quite dissolved. Also the children are at the opposite side of the house.

It's very difficult, but I feel neighborly relations should only be risked if it is really important.

Goodluck

[dudette]

Why does he not smoke in his house I wonder? The fact that he smokes outside does suggest he realises that second-hand smoke is objectionable to other people. If it's really bugging you it might be better to ask him now in a reasonable way rather than let it build up in your head and then end up losing the plot one day. If you have a male partner could he ask for you? Sometimes blokes respond better to other blokes.

[trilangue]

It's nice to knowI'm not theonly one with this problem, Brihoney. Yes, I too hope that the smoke is not dangerous by the time it reaches the bedroom. But the fact that I can still smell it worries me. Yes Dudette, the fact that he smokes outside shows he sure doesn't want it in his flat! Unfortunately my husband thinks I'm just being fussy anddoesn't see a problem...typical:(

[dudette]

Typical! I think you should say something yourself then. Try to be as nice as you possibly can and maybe come up with another reason other than the health one why you don't like the smell (e.g. Reminds you of a beloved close relative who died recently and makes you feel sad). Also try and work out where you need him to stand so you can't smell the smoke so he realises you're not suggesting he doesn't smoke at all. Make it clear he'd be doing you a huge favour and you realise it's a big thing to ask etc. And if he says no you'll just have to accept it but it's probably worth a shot.

[papinian]

Dudette's post is a perfect example of how English people try to avoid conflict and don't say directly what the issue is and instead come up with really absurd alternatives, e.g. suggesting that you ask someone to stop smoking because it reminds you of a beloved close relative who died recently and makes you feel sad rather than just saying that you don't like having the smell in your bedroom at night when you are trying to sleep.

It is really common (in the pejorative sense of the word) to smoke outside one's front door. If one is going to smoke then one should do it at the rear of the house. That would be my biggest objection to the smoking outside the front door.

Does your neighbour have a wife/partner? If so, I suggest to go through them. If the wife/partner is a non-smoker then they are likely to be sympathetic.

[trilangue]

Thanks guys, appreciate the suggestions. No Papinian, he lives alone. Unfortunately there's no back door...the front door is the only entrance he has access to, so I guess that's why he smokes there:(