Thomas's Clapham, Streatham and Clapham Prep offers Post Reply

[Confus_ed]

In all seriousness I think the only way to get it right is to ignore all the competitve one-upmanship that goes on amongst parents about whose school is best.

My daughter was at a selective prep that is considered difficult to get into but we hated it. Without going into details it wasn't right for her (or for our son). We looked at loads of schools, spoke to lots of parents and other teachers and decided SCP was the best fit for her.

The parents at her old school weren't shy to express their amazement about our choice and tell us how much less academic it was, how the parents wouldn't be 'our type' etc...

6 months later and she is absolutely flying. Loves her new school and new friends, is enthused about learning in a way she never was before (despite always being towards the top of the class) and hugely more self-confident. Pehaps because of this, perhaps because of the school itself, she has made a huge leap forward academically too.

It's about getiing the right match for your child. Minor nuances in results, the school's place in the percieved local pecking order or the social cachet attached to the school is irrelevant really.

[Goldhawk]

I agree with Dudette - Emanuel is no longer a fallback option

[Flowermummy]

Confus_ed, I found your post so interesting, because I agree, it's about getting the match right for your child. But how do you do that when they are only 3 1/2 and you have no idea what they will enjoy (If they'll be "academic" or sporty for example)? Based on parents gut feel?

[DonJ]

That's exactly it! Struggling because it's just so early to tell- so do you believe assessor's judgement? Very wise words re peception of school's prestige Confus_ed!

[Confus_ed]

Honestly I'm the wrong person to ask because I got it wrong - twice!

You can't predict how your kids will develop at age 3 but, looking back, I do wish I'd given more thought to what I personally wanted/valued in a school. I was so focused on getting the kids into schools I didn't really stop to ask why or question the sales pitches.

There is so much hysteria it is hard not to get caught up in it.

[DonJ]

Yes absolutely! The notion that by turning down one or another school that you're turning down a wealth of opportunities for your child is ever-present...

[lolaloves]

Hysteria is exactly what i feel I am caught up in it's so hard to trust your instincts as I personally feel my instincts change constantly.

[Flowermummy]

Donj, definitely do not just take the assessor judgement, in my opinion, you know your child better.
Also, they make a decision on more than just the assessment - they need equal numbers of boys and girls, with birthdays split fairly throughout the year, they need a mix of nurseries, etc - so overall a complex process on their side.
Also last year at Thomas's about half of the non-siblings places went to people on the waitlist, so clearly some parents with offers disagreed with the assessors.

[DonJ]

Yes totally take your point, a very hefty dose of luck involved! Its just quite hard I find, to gain fair assessment of a school based on a few hours visit.

[Flowermummy]

Hysteria, yes I feel it too.
But if I close my eyes for a few seconds and try and imagine ds at each of the 2 schools, I always get a really good feel about the same school..

[dudette]

Really you want to ask yourself just one question - will my child be happy at this school? Forget how many scholarships the leavers get. Your child won't be learning to their best ability if they're not happy. We spend a huge proportion of our lives being educated so we must think of it not just as a means to an end (ultimately a good career) but as an end in itself. My DS loves school so much he can't wait for the school holidays to end. By the time he leaves his current school he'll have had nine years (a sizeable chunk of his lifetime) not having Monday morning syndrome. He'll have happy memories to look back on for the rest of his life - maybe even have made lifelong friends. You know your child best, and so you should really go with your gut instinct - Will these teachers care for my child and be kind to her? Will my child like doing the activities (sport, drama and the rest of the co-curriculum) the school offers? Does my child enjoy learning and so will be able to keep up with the academic work? Will there be enough similar kids to her for her to find friends easily? You may not know how bright your child is but you know how shy or outgoing she is, whether she's active or quiet. Go with your gut instinct - and please forget the scholarships. The world is full of super-bright people who haven't fulfilled their potential because they've not been happy. If you can't decide which school is right then just pick one and move her if it doesn't work out. But the honest truth of the matter is that the schools round here aren't so very different - they're all good schools, so whichever one you pick will probably turn out absolutely fine. And count yourself lucky that you have a choice!

[DonJ]

Thank you - honestly I think she could be happy at both. I think she'd love the incredible variety of activities at Thomas's, the fact that its co-ed (and thus brother could attend - she's very amusingly concerned about this already!), although the very "busy" nature of such a large school could be a bit overwhelming for a child who I have never thought of as being super-robust. And at Streatham she would love the cosy feel, smaller size and what felt like to me (rightly or wrongly), a slightly more relaxed attitude. It's hard to shake feeling that going to Thomas's might give her more options in what is becoming an increasingly competitive market at 11+, but obviously it's more important to find school that fits now. Thank you everyone, you've all been extremely helpful!

[Flowermummy]

Thank you dudette, wise advice.
For me the answer to 2 of your questions sways it:"Will there be enough similar kids to her for her to find friends easily?" and "Will my child like doing the activities?"...
I'm also taking away from this thread the idea that there is a (small) chance it may not work out and we may have to move our DS in later years (something I initially thought would be a disaster, but I now see it can happen..)

[dudette]

Flowermummy - it happens a lot that parents move their kids and it's no bad thing. Kids at that age are very flexible and welcoming and most schools mix the classes up every couple of years so they're all used to meeting and making new friends. I think it's a good life lesson to learn early on that things change, so you should regard it as a positive if it happens!

[Flowermummy]

thank you dudette!
slightly off topic, but isn't it harder to move in later years to places like Thomas's (as it depends on another child leaving, and there are also the "state till eight" families looking for places in private schools at that point)?
I remember a mum telling me she was really keen to move her child to Newton prep in year 3 or 4 (can't remember exactly) and they couldn't ...