Please, help me to make a decision Post Reply

[lollypop2017]

Hi, everybody. I’m not infertile, but I need egg donation due to a bad heredity. Several of my close relatives have split mind syndrome, and there is a great possibility that future child will have the same. My hubby and I have visited several geneticists, and all of them confirm such possibility. As the price really matters to us, we decided to try our luck overseas. We’ve chosen the clinic, and visited it several weeks ago. Today I’m going to share my feedback about this clinic and I also want you or help to understand whether this clinic is worth contacting or not… Firstly, I would like to tell you some words about the clinic. We contacted its representatives via phone and email, and, finally, came to visit them. We were met by the interpreter at the airport and then taken to the apartment. The following day we went to the clinic, and here are the things we saw there… The clinic turned to be a small private villa. We visited it several times, and it was always overcrowded with visitors. We had to stay in the queue for nearly half an hour to speak with the clinic administrator. She turned to be very unfriendly and formal lady. She told us that our program manager was busy at that moment, and we can contact any fertility specialist we like at the clinic. There were loads of visitors near all doctors’ offices, and we waited nearly half an hour before the doctor was ready to meet us. Overall, we liked the way she spoke with us, but we decided not to sign up contract yet. We contacted another clinic in that country. The things were quite different there. Firstly, we were met by a courteous administrator. The program manager was free and followed us to the doctor immediately. The doctor was very soothing. She told us that our health tests are perfect, and we have great chances to succeed.
However, I was impressed by the fact that the clinic’s halls were empty. We were the only couple who visited them that day… We also decided not to sign up a contract with them. And now I have to decide which clinic to choose. So I want to ask you a question: if the clinic is so overcrowded, does it mean that it’s a popular one??? Can we get good medical services in the clinic that can’t organize its work properly??? Please, help me to make the right decision!!!

[Annabel (admin)]

Hello
Thank you for posting on NVN.

I am so sorry you are in this situation.

Secondly, can you share a little information about what you are looking for us to help you with?

I'm quite confused at the moment.

Thank you

[Chucka]

Trying not to repeat post!

[Chucka]

and again!

[Chucka]

Hi hon

I am the mum of a child with a neuro disability and I do understand your fears but hope I might offer another perspective?

I am not sure what split mind syndrome is. I had a look at this. People with split brain syndrome living their lives with their joys and sorrows just like everyone else https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHgClWAPbBY

All I know is that when your child comes you will love her/him with their disability too. I would never swop my child for one more able. There is an amazing bond even though others cannot always see it. I am so so happy.

A child conceived by egg donation will still have a biological mother (the egg donor). And to support such egg donation is to create children in order to deliberate separate them from their biological mother.

What if the child conceived by egg donation has some other condition that is difficult? Would you wish you had just taken your chances on the natural child you would have had with your partner?

Maybe do not worry about your child as a 'possible condition' . She/he will be someone you will absolutely and helplessly love -even much to your own surprise.

There is a great deal of support for parents of children with disabilities locally. My child's condition has brought our family into contact with wonderful people we would never have met otherwise. I am very changed.

When the time comes we are capable of more love than we know.


xxx

[nicolap]

Hi there
I have been through egg donations with an amazing clinic in the states which is also linked to the Lister here in London.

Please send me an email if you want to chat more about it as I have had my two children with them and cannot fault anything there

Nicola x
Nicolap2@hotmail.com

[LadyNettles]

Hi, dear! I’m really sorry for your struggles. I think it’s really up to you what to do further. Of course, you may try to conceive with your own eggs. The fact that several of your close relatives are ill due to a bad heredity isn’t good. But I’ll repeat one more time that everything depends on you. As for the clinic, I think the best advice would be to trust your gut. If you don’t like them, you may quit them. Otherwise, I would try to get to know more information about their success rates. You may also try to browse some fertility forums to find some feedbacks about this clinic.

[LadyCarol]

For me, choosing the clinic is the key moment. Whether you do a simple IVF or ED IVF, you should be totally sure that you deal with real professionals. You must trust your doctors and feel comfortable with them. I would advise you to choose the clinic that really suits you. I did an ED IVF nearly a year ago. We visited several clinics, and I chose the one where I totally liked the specialist who would be in charge of my program. I would advise you to choose the clinic that offers oocytes of young egg donors. They are considered to be the best for the ED IVF.

[lollypop2017]

Hi, everybody! Thanks for your replies to my post. I really needed some support these days. I do have a heredity issue and I don’t want to risk. I want my baby to be totally healthy. This is the main reason why we decided to use a donor egg fro conceiving a baby. Now, we have to find an appropriate clinic for doing this. Some clinics offer fresh eggs. The others frozen ones. I’ve googled some information about frozen and fresh eggs. Fresh eggs are supposed to be better ones. Is there anyone here who had experience with DE IVF. What eggs did you use?

[Jopoppy68]

I don't have experience of egg donation but we had fantastic IVF treatment at Serum in Athens and I know they offer it there. Penny, who runs the clinic is amazing, as are all of her staff. Unfortunately it didn't work for us, but that was more to do with my health and dodgy immune system. If you contact them, you can have a free consultation over the phone and they will advise you. It's also so much cheaper than having treatment here. My friend did have egg and sperm donation at Serum and is now the mum to beautiful twins. They are very good at matching the donors with you too.

Athens is a great city too - people are so friendly. Good luck with your decision. It isn't an easy one, but Penny and her team can help. They all speak perfect English, and while the clinic gets very busy, it runs pretty well in my opinion: http://www.ivfserum.com/

Also, lots of great information on fertilityfriends.co.uk

[Free wind]

Hi! I did DE IVF the previous year. Both of my ovaries don’t ovulate properly. I do have regular menstruations, but I can’t conceive with my own eggs. We’ve been TTC for 3 years and had one BFN IVF before my gyny recommended us to try egg donation. I should say that it wasn’t an easy choice for me. I did hope that I would be able to conceive with my own eggs. Unfortunately, Mother Nature made me infertile. We used oocytes of 22 year-old woman. Before visiting the clinic for the first time, we sent them a short description of the woman who would suit us as an egg donor. We specified the weight, height, eye and hair color of the woman whom we consider the best egg donor. Our program coordinator told us that the clinic used a special software to find an egg donor from their database. When we signed up a contract with them, they gave us an opportunity to glimpse at the donor’s 3D photo. When we chose the donor, my RE studied my menstrual cycle and determined the date of the embryos transfer. Up to this time, I had to take birth control pills to synchronize my periods with the donor’s ones. When we visited the clinic for the second time, my DH’s sperm was picked up and used to fertilize the donor’s oocytes. Then three embryos were transferred into my uterus. I had to take hormone medicines to support my possible pregnancy. In two weeks I did my first pregnancy test and it was a BFP one. This is how DE IVF with fresh eggs is done.

[szerma]

I used a clinic in the Czech Republic called Prague Fertility Centre for donor eggs. They were amazing. Go for fresh eggs if you can - they have a much higher success rate. The cost tends to be lower for frozen but it is not just the cost financially of repeated unsuccessful cycles, but the emotional drain. To contradict that though, I would suggest only transferring one embryo at a time, to avoid the (high with donor eggs) risk of a multiple pregnancy, unless you really want twins.

On another note - looks like there are other ladies who used donor eggs on here, I have been talking for a while about starting a little NVN "support network" for donor-conceived children. Mine is rather little so far but as he grows older I would like him to meet other donor-conceived children so he knows he is not "strange" or "different", as my older daughter is our biological child. I would quite like to also offer emotional support and reassurance for anyone considering it.

Would anyone else on here be interested in getting together at some point?

[lollypop2017]

Hi, szerma. Thanks for your post. I consider your idea rather interesting. I don’t think children conceived with the help of donor eggs are different from kids conceived naturally. They are our little angels and we will love them no less than children conceived naturally. Could you please share the way they have chosen an egg donor particularly for your DE IVF? As far as I know, egg donation is mostly conducted on an anonymous basis. It means you won’t be able to meet or even to see the photo of the woman who is going to share her eggs with you. What about the clinic you’ve got interested in? Did they let you glimpse at the donor’s photos?

[szerma]

Hello Lollypop,
Thank you for your message. Indeed i don't think they are, but I read many articles about how the children conceived with the help of donors feel, and not all of them cope well with it later in life. The advice is to tell children early so they know this growing up, and accept it from
the beginning. Perhaps I am overthinking this, but I feel that knowing other families and children who were also conceived with the help of donors would help them feel that this is as normal as being the genetic child of both your parents!

The egg donor process was anonymous. We were asked what we absolutely wanted in a donor. We wanted one with blue eyes as we are both blue-eyed and to be a student or have higher education. Somehow, when it boiled down to it, this was what was important to us. We were then given a brief characteristic of the donor (hair, eye colour, education, blood group, height, weight and age, and interests), and we accepted the proposed one. I checked how they verify if our donor is indeed a student, and they said this is what the donor stated. Who knows!

As our donor was found 2 days after we applied, I don't think they matched them closely to what we looked like. We never saw her picture.

However, some people are adamant that our boy looks like me (even though he can't). He is still quite small though and I think babies look like babies and their features develop later.

Feel free to PM me if you would like more info etc...

[Free wind]

I think all depends on the clinic you’re going to deal with. As I’ve already posted above, we visited the clinic twice. Before visiting the clinic for the first time, we sent them a short description of the woman who would suit us as an egg donor. Our program coordinator told us that they had used a special software to find an appropriate donor for us. As we signed up a contract with them, we were able to see the donor’s 3D photo.
P.S. We also contacted some clinics in Poland. They just offered us several profiles of the women who agreed to share their eggs with me. However, we weren’t able to see their photos.