secret behind the picture perfect marriage? Post Reply

[elodiemax]

hi all
i'm just another nappy valley mum...like everyone else here. but over the past few years my husband and i struggled a bit to stay happy together. To that end, we've taken an unusual path to make things work, and i'm so intrigued about whether its just us or whether lots of people are doing this behind closed doors. so i've started blogging about it.
www.elodiemax.wordpress.com
i recommend starting with the first post at the bottom, which puts the second post in context!
keen to hear all thoughts and opinions....
elodie x

[supergirl]

It s great if that works for you both.
Since you ve asked for opinions, i personally do t mike the tone of your posts. Bloging and sharing about your experience is great. There is no shame to have if that works for some but what i dont like is that you are being evangelist about it. it s like us who dont ate somehow stupid for not trying. I also dont like your generalisation about teenagers. can you refer to stats or research? Or is it your asumptions?
Anyway, good luck in saving your marriage.

[secondtimer]

Sorry to sound cynical but your post/blog smacks of someone desperate to write a book to me.
Not sure I'd be comfortable airing my sexual exploits in a public forum where my kids or their friends parents could read about them.. but hey that's just me.. each to their own.

[tooposhtopush]

Sorry to sound cynical but your post/blog smacks of someone desperate to write a book to me.

I SO agree with your comment.

It's odd because I'm really interested in the non-sexual details behind your posts, so are you both equally keen? Isn't it a bit icky? surely it affects your marriage? etc etc but I have absolutely no desire to read something that reads a bit 50 Shades.

Its a shame but I think the approach I'm interested in is more of a Marie Claire or Sunday Times article and this reads a bit more than Mills and Boon with willies!

[elodiemax]

that is such helpful feedback, thank you - especially tooposhtopush. i've been debating about which 'line' to write about.... whether to write about the sexy stuff or just focus on the more thoughtful emotional aspects behind it all. i'll try again with the latter because tbh that's the bit that makes me want to write/talk, and find out what other people think / do / feel. humans are fascinating!
i really appreciate you all taking the time to comment
Elodie x

[BFW]

To be honest.... I have no idea what would possess someone to want to share these details on a blog ?! And ....for the sake of your kids I hope that Elodie is a made up name.

But as a previous poster said - each to their own. This is definitely not a blog for me and I won't be reading it again.

Back to my middle aged health / fitness and fashion blogs !!!

[abfab]

OP it is all fun and games until someone loses an eye. I have seen similar arrangements turn sour and the consequences for both parties - and more importantly, the children involved - are very painful.

Also, have you thought through the ramifications of blogging about this? You are only one Daily Mail article away from notoriety, and you may not find it as easy as you hope to retain your anonymity, as the lady who wrote the Belle de Jour blog found to her cost. Is it worth risking the consequences of that for you, your marriage and your children?

[Goldhawk]

I think we need a vote on which NV private school parents are most likely to enjoy this sort of thing....

Least likely .... I vote for Dolphin

Surely it's just like dogging but with nicer surroundings?!

[2009Kat]

I'm meant to be working. But now I'm busy thinking about the which school question.... It is probably going to be the least expected...

[Red1981]

Elodie...if that is even your name.

Frankly speaking, your blog or fake blog to release a book is nothing millions of us haven't come across a thousand times before, belle du jour started this theme a decade ago.

Middle Class woman discovers Killing Kitten (or similar) in hope it might "spice up the their marriage", rather than sitting down like adults and getting to the crux of why you both feel the need to do this in the first place.

Pandoras box stayed shut for a reason.

[windmill26]

OP it is all fun and games until someone loses an eye. I have seen similar arrangements turn sour and the consequences for both parties - and more importantly, the children involved - are very painful.

Also, have you thought through the ramifications of blogging about this? You are only one Daily Mail article away from notoriety, and you may not find it as easy as you hope to retain your anonymity, as the lady who wrote the Belle de Jour blog found to her cost. Is it worth risking the consequences of that for you, your marriage and your children?

Agree 100%
Plus ,Elodie you are mid 30s and already bored with your marriage! so bored that you need to have sex with other people to "spicy things up"! Gosh...what are you going to do when you are in your 50s? Have you ever thought that maybe you married the wrong person ?
I am not interested in other people sex lives and I will not read your blog again but just a bit of feedback...you come across as a snob and out of touch when you say or write things like "they are people who succeed at life – whether that be business, health, fitness or all of the above" and
"My husband and I tend to choose one of the more exclusive and expensive parties, because it gives you the reassurance it isn’t going to be full of chavs or unattractive people. In my personal opinion, if I’m going to have sex with someone I want there to be something of a connection, and I find it easiest to connect with people who are like me….who live in a similar world. "

[Tpa]

Seriously?! I don't get some of these replies at all. Apparently, we are still very uncomfortable with women talking about sex. @Elodie, not my thing, but more power to you - IMO, your writing does not come across snobby, preachy or explicit... it's a reflection of your experience, which is what blogging is about. Belle Du Jour comparisons are not warranted - that was a blog about prostitution - a very different type of sex - that's like saying that you Shouldn't blog about raw food because Nigella had a food blog first.
Judging by the number of views on your post, I reckon there are plenty of women who have read it now and enjoyed it, but don't want to post publically on here for fear of being judged by their neighbors. Anyway, good luck with your blog!

[Wheresmyschool?]

OMG I couldn't stop thinking about the school too

But now I'm busy thinking about the which school question

[Goldhawk]

I think the Belle de Jour comparison related to being unmasked

Lots of people think they are anonymous online but give away far too much information

There are a number of posters on NVN who I recognise from RL

[Tpa]

@Goldhawk, I was referring to this particular comment:

"Frankly speaking, your blog or fake blog to release a book is nothing millions of us haven't come across a thousand times before, belle du jour started this theme a decad ago."

But I'm dying to know what RL is!!