Scottov wrote:hal wrote:Your husband may be a terrible person but that doesn’t justify violence - if he’s that unsupportable, then leave him. Hitting people and throwing objects at them is never acceptable, irrespective of their gender.
I’m assuming you knew very well but here you go.
And no, the qualifiers and caveats don’t disguise the odiousintent and implication
At least no more than the “I’m not racist BUT...” tropes of the bnp and far right. But...
This is a dog whistle of the worst kind. It clearly means to imply that he may well have had it coming. Something that would never be tolerated if the gender were reversed
Not sure where you get “odious intent” from or the need for bizarre personal attacks. And exactly the same paragraph (to the letter) would apply if I was commenting on violence by a man against a woman.
And nowhere do I say he deserved or asked for anything; not implied it. Quite the opposite - I’ve said pretty clearly (in the same paragraph you’ve actually quoted but appear to be ignoring in favour of a pretty unnecessary personal attack on someone you don’t know) that violence is never warranted or acceptable irrespective of gender. And I stand by that - there is never any justification for violence (save perhaps in self-defence but certainly not in a context like this). Violence against men or women (or children) isn’t acceptable, for whatever reason.
There is no dog whistle, no implication - that’s in your mind. Her husband could have done something horrendous or something merely aggravating - either way, whatever it is, the proportionate response isn’t and never is violence (leaving him might be, or going to the police, or talking it through - we don’t know because she hasn’t said what it is beyond lying); that’s what I was alluding to as a contrast to what she has done. I would say exactly the same thing if a man had posted saying he’d slapped his wife.
You’ve (deliberately) drawn a totally baseless inference and have thrown a few pejorative adjectives around without even attempting to give me (or the other poster you’ve got a problem with, whoever he or she may be) the benefit of the doubt.
I spent my early career as a barrister helping victims of serious domestic violence - male and female, adult, minor and even elderly - on a daily basis. I am pretty comfortable that my approach to this is both considered and balanced (and based on actual experience): I don’t differentiate between genders, save perhaps to acknowledge the simple and indisputable background fact that the vast vast vast majority of domestic violence (and violence in general) is perpetrated by men against women. And often is far more serious in terms of its physical consequences.
But feel free to have another pop at something I didn’t say if it somehow makes you feel better to froth at straw men. I’m assuming you’re one of those men’s rights posters that go round looking for perceived injustice against men and “won’t someone think about the men” type things to rage over? Sadly this isn’t one of them but I’m sure if you hunt around a bit you’ll find something a little more suitable you can get stuck in to.
