dishonest about bursary application Post Reply

[Star]

In your shoes I wouldn't as they could be borderline eligible , from what I've seen the bursary system is quite vague. I can see why you'd be annoyed - for us as well paying fees for 2 will have a significant impact on us and would come with sacrifices. But we know for certain we wouldn't be eligible for any financial help and would never dream of playing the system. From what I've heard what your friend is doing is more common than you might think and the uptake from families with bright children with lower incomes is low- many worry they won't fit in.
The point is you will be playing with the child's future and I personally would not be comfortable with it even if I disapprove strongly and feel resentment. The onus is on the school to check stringently and make more effort to recruit and appeal to families from lower incomes to take up bursaries and lower the expectations for entry exams. Are they doing that? I know Latymer does but I'm not sure if many schools are making much effort- I actually dont know if they are, but they should.

[AbbevilleMummy]

The bursary system is very vague, differs wildly by school, and is often decided upon on a case by case basis. You don’t know the factors that the school considered to offer the bursary. After investigation they may already know that there were ‘errors’ in the application but decided to remain discrete as there were other factors.

It could be that the child is very bright and it’s more of a scholarship, or a bit of both. It could be very minimal. It will probably be reassessed every year.

Also, this child having the bursary doesn’t deprive someone else of a place. The parents may well have paid full fees if they had to. Schools don’t have a bursary target. If they hadn’t given this bursary they may not have given the funding to anyone else.

Quite simply there are too many unknowns, it is none of your business and you were told in confidence.

[TFP]

Just the sheer silliness of the reply saying "...the politics of the envy has no place in public school..." makes me want to say that OP should squeal but in practice I very likely wouldn't myself, having been in vaguely similar positions myself in the past. This is undoubtedly a form of stealing, with presumably very large sums involved, but the 'victims' of the crime are a bit hard to identify, & might well in practice just be another sharp-elbowed, moderately well-heeled, family who could afford the fees if push came to shove.

I'd on balance probably say nothing but try to turn the friendship down a notch or two.

[K1999]

This winds me up! I think taking a place that should go to a child who genuinely needs it, is both immoral and totally dishonest. Just because the system allows parents to do this, doesn’t make it right. It’s would make me feel very uncomfortable and I question your friend, or her husbands ethics.

Having said that, I am not sure how you should proceed. If you were that sure about saying something, I wouldn’t say anything unless anonymously, but you would also have to consider that IF she hasn’t told anyone else except you, then she will know who has told the school.

I guess it depends on how much you value your friendship, and whether you will be able to bite your tongue if they ever mention it, or about why they have supposedly been offered a bursary.

Personally we sent our kids to private school and made lots of personal sacrifices to do so, and would never have considered trying to scam the system. I don’t see your comments as being jealous, rather than indignant!

[crackers]

Difficult situation to find yourself in and an interesting dilemma. As a general rule, I do find things are often not what they appear to be in life and one should try to avoid assuming.

Schools do have to be rigorous in going through bursary applicants’ financial situations in detail as they are accountable at their end for any bursaries awarded. To my knowledge this includes annual provision of bank statements/P60/tax returns etc, so it may well be that your friends’ situation is not as solvent as it appears and sadly, they may be spending beyond their means.

A discreet way of reassuring yourself might be to check anonymously with the school as to the proofs of income they require for bursary applications. You could also, perhaps, find a benign way to ask your friend how they manage with expensive lifestyle etc given they have qualified for a bursary place.

Whatever you decide to do, hope it goes well.