Tramp in local coffee shop Post Reply

[fizzbang]

I regularly visit a local coffee shop after a weekly dog walk with girlfriends but over the last few months there has been a tramp (occasionally two) in the coffee shop as well. The owner makes the tramp welcome and is happy to be inclusive.

Of course we have always been very polite too but to be blunt he really does smell and over these last few weeks of warm weather it has reached a point where we are thinking that we need to go somewhere else. I know that's an awful thing to admit but I just can't stand it.

I feel torn between asking the cafe owner to do something about the situation and taking our business away and feeling very ungrateful for being so shallow.

One feels very rude and arrogant the other harmful to the business. It is an independent. Any ideas gratefully received.

[SW11er]

Speak to the owner. Maybe he can still give them a free drink but they can sit outside!

[sloaney donkey]

What a reek !

[MMum]

Maybe try chatting to him and find out why he's in the state he's in? Maybe offer him money to pay access to a local leisure centre so he can have a shower?

[Hattiethedog]

Maybe it is the same place. Our local independent coffee shop does the same. We think it is positive. It is a tough enough world out there.

[Jonjah]

The cafe owner will be aware. I think its incredibly positive to ensure inclusivity especially where people are at risk of dropping out of society. Their money is as good as yours, this might be the only warm drink they have all week. Maybe sit outside with your dog? It would be a shame to take your business away from the independent.

[Beancounter]

It is said we’re all only three salaries away from the streets. It could be you, there.

[shai_lo]

Homelessness is on the increase and I think it’s amazing that the owner of the cafe is doing this. The smell will be obvious to the owner too. Please try and support the business as this is so positive!

[Riotgrrl]

How nice that he has somewhere to go with something warm in his stomach.

I understand the smell bothers you but it’s not his fault. Why don’t you offer him somewhere he can go? Ask him if he needs anything?

As you point out, you have a million different options. He doesn’t. Your place there isnt more valuable than his. Maybe he thinks you and your girlfriends are annoying?! Please go somewhere else and hopefully you’ll find a bit more compassion there. Otherwise just be another person who excludes him.

[Annesley]

I can’t quite believe the arrogant over-entitled tone of this post. Maybe you should try and imagine your life in “the Tramp’s” shoes for a few minutes to appreciate how your lives are so extremely different and how a little kindness and empathy for someone who is likley FAR less privileged than you could go a long way for both the coffee shop owner (who is doing the right thing) and the world who needs more people like him - someone with a little tolerance. This is another human being who has fallen on hard times. He could be someone’s brother, father, friend, he might be a military vet, maybe you should try talking to him instead of simply judging him. You have something in common at least - you both like the same coffee shop.

To be honest, if I were the coffee shop owner and you tried to ask me “to do something about the situation”, being serving another customer, I would ask you to take your business elsewhere.

[busyworkingmum]

I’ve experienced homelessness, not at the level of the gentleman you describe in your post, and I never thought I would find myself in such a position. I would suggest you remove your post, and take your business elsewhere so that this poor gentleman can enjoy the comforts of the cafe. I really hope that you do not ever find yourself in this position and that a member of the public make a post about you. I’m really trying to understand what you set out to achieve from your snobby post!

[AceOfClubs]

Tramp - is that an acceptable way to describe a fellow human being?  I assume you would have thought more carefully about your choice of wording had there been a possibility you would have been called racist or homophobic.

I am the manager of Ace of Clubs, a day centre in Clapham working with many vulnerable and homeless people.  One of the hardest challenges for us is to build up our guests self esteem and self worth because they are constantly feel judged and dehumanised.  

We are an open access day centre and regularly have 100 people in for lunch every day, so i invite you to come along and find out about what we do and then you will be able to spread the word positively and compassionately to this gentleman and his friend, should they wish to speak to you.

Sarah Miles
Ace of Clubs
sarahmiles@aceofclubs.org.uk

[Lola123]

I think we have to exercise compassion in our daily lives and embrace the fact the owner is helping in some way. The gentleman you are referring to is a fellow human being and may well have so many difficulties to overcome some of which may be visible and some which may not. Why not offer something as well - clothes etc. Adopt the same positive approach as the owner. Small acts of kindness can cost nothing and have a huge impact on lives of others.

[Talkman]

When I was a little lad out for a walk with my dad, we saw a “tramp” in the street and I referred to him using that word. My father corrected me with words I have never forgotten. “He’s not a tramp, he’s a gentleman of the road”.
There but for the grace of.....etc.
If I knew which cafe you’re talking about, I’d pop round and buy him a good breakfast. You might want to consider doing the same, rather than being so snobbish.

[Isithotinhere]

Wow. I thought (hoped) for a minute this was a bit of a p*** take. Kind of Harry Enfield Tim Nice but Dim’ style.....”I say inn keeper, look hyarr , this chap over hyarr doesn’t half pong, ken you please have him removed as the smell is offending the very very clean, fresh smelling good people of Wandsworth.”
Jeez girl, did you actually read back over your post before you pressed send? We live in an increasingly fractured, polarised intolerant, cruel society and your post is an excellent example of this. This ‘tramp’ as you have called him, is a human being, was born as a little pink baby, just like you, but due to circumstances that did not follow the line of your (and mine I will admit) extremely privileged ones, he has ended up as he has, and you and I have ended up where we have. He will have stories as interesting as you (probably a lot more interesting), he will have people who have loved him and he has loved, he will have had the same joy but probably an awful lot more pain and loss than you have. And you want him chucked out of your ‘favourite-post-dog-walk-cafe-with-my-girlfriends’ because he doesn’t smell good to you? Really?
I think you were on to something when you pondered whether to take your business elsewhere though. That’s probably best for all concerned. Maybe start your own pop up coffee shop at home, and you can only let in people of the right background/salary/smell?
On a more serious note, do you have children? Please, please, think about what and how you say things in their earshot. We could all really do with the next version of ‘generation privileged’ to be a lot more tolerant and compassionate if we are to have any hope of hanging on together on this little bit of rock which is home to all of us.